Hope to save you some dough

While you're watching those fantastic football line-ups, I know you're going to start packing away all the Christmas decorations. Before you run out to get those pricey, yet seemingly essential Ornament Organizers, please check this idea out. I don't know exactly were I read about it many years ago, but it really works. I've been using this packing method about 4 years and I haven't lost/cracked/damaged an ornament by storing it this way so far. Here's what you do:
Get a cheap, plastic bin and fill it with plastic Dixie party cups (read: beer cup, not the kind you use to rinse your mouth when brushing!). Put paper towel in the bottom of the cup and wrap the ornament's sides with another one. Here's the visual (I just snapped it like 5 minutes ago!). Make sure all ornaments fit inside the cup area and allow for head-room when you snap on the cover. Notice that some of the ornaments are inserted "head down" for best packing stability. I put unbreakable ornaments in between the cups to stabilize them. For this photo, I took out several of the side paper towel "packaging" for you to best see the effect.

Hope it works for you as well as it works for me, Cupcake! Now, I've got one tree packed away; only one more to go.... Another day. Whew! Hard work!

Happy New Year, Divas and Dudes!!! May 2008 be the most delightful year yet!!! XOXO

The Space Between

What is a diva to do between the Christmas Holiday and New Year's? My suggestions, random order:

• Are you kidding? Shop. Man, they're just giving away stuff at department stores, except for what I REALLY want (designer purse, the particular pair of black Clarks clogs, etc.), but you will not leave disappointed. The Main Squeeze was treated to a shopping spree and got great stuff for half price - so double the present!!!
• Visit friends, especially those in from out of town. Take wine, but of course. Swing by Diva Wine-Know's (Jennifer, do you like your Nom de Diva???) The Wine Cellar in Vestavia City Center near Publix. She and her staff are wonderful!!! While you're there, contemplate your mental plans for a wine cellar at your diva digs. A girl can dream.
• Plan your Spring Break vacation if you haven't done so already
• Make plans to send your kids to summer camp. Need ideas? http://www.alabamacamps.org/ Trained staffs will entertain junior for up to an entire month. Now, THAT's relaxing!
• Travel. I'm heading to the beach with the extended family. My dad's feeling so well and all my sisters and brother will be there with everyone - thanks to all who've asked, emailed, and sent inquiries about my dad after his quadruple bypass surgery. He's walking 3+ miles a day. Amazing.
• Do laundry. I'm trying to work it in between shopping excursions while the kids are away. It's tough to schedule, you know.
• Take a long soak. I actually did this last night with Epsom salt and scents. Wow! It was a treat.
• Get a mani/pedi
• Shop for a new car. The dealers want to get rid of inventory. Want a Benz? I recommend Comer Automotive. http://www.comerautomobile.com/ Check out their fantastic prices. You will not beleive how excellent and fair their service is. Tell Greg I sent you. They have BEE-U-TI-FUL cars. (Tell Jeff I'll be calling for service work soon.)
• While you're at Comer shopping, have Quinton to detail the car you want to keep. He does a splendid job.

Well, that should keep you busy for a little while. I've got more content to work on to post soon. Toodles, Poodle! XOXO

More Christmas Copying

Diva Katherine and Pink Drink Queen emailed me the Christmas Version of Getting to Know Your Friends. Thought I'd share mine with you, Poodle:

Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags until I run out or don’t have the right size
Real tree or Artificial? Both. I’m allergic to tree sap as we’ve previously discussed, but have a real one downstairs and a fake one upstairs, which I am delighted to report will stay in tact (just without decorations) and be stored in my ample storage space when ‘tisn’t the season.
When do you put up the tree? As fast as possible after Thanksgiving. I just LOVE Christmas and want it to last as long as possible and get here as soon as is un-annoying.
When do you take the tree down? My goal is to have everything down by Valentine’s Day. It really takes that pressure off and generally, I’m quite successful
Do you like egg nog? Not at all. I feel freakish about it, but I chock it up to lactose intolerance.
Favorite gift received as a child? Barbie Dream Condo (3 stories, thank you) with an elevator. Hands DOWN!!!! It was the BEST Barbie thing EVER. I simply cannot imagine why they don’t make it any more, except perhaps it was cheap and fell apart with great regularity, not that I cared one whit. I was the luckiest girl in the world. The other great Santa surprises were the strings that led from the stockings to the matching bikes that Caroline and I got one year. Mine = blue; Caroline’s = red. The next year, the string led to a TRAMPOLINE that was set up in the garage and was moved to the yard after the rain-soaked ground could handle the trauma of bouncing children.

However, the gift that I have used FOREVER is my clock radio that I’ve had since I was 8. Thanks, Santa! It’s still by my bed. It’s huge and the numbers are a strange shade of green that has grown on me over the years. I think I’ll lord that over my kids and add to my “take care of your things so they’ll last a long time” lecture.

Favorite Christmas gift ever? PHOEBE!!! The cat that one sister found for me and named. She was the best pet for me. I just loved her! I still miss her tons!!!! She was the greatest present I’ve EVER gotten. So far, she’s the best pet I’ve ever had. Jingle, the cat-who-thinks-he's-a-dog is fine for now. Maybe a Sheltie will enter my world at some point and restore that exuberance of mommy-pet love that I know can exist.
Do you have a nativity scene? I have 3. The third, I hate particularly robustly, so I haven’t even gotten it out. It’s kind of like Precious Moments Nativity. Especially horrible. Why didn’t I force that on the ex-spouse? I dunno. Probably because I forced a plastic one with a light bulb on him from his childhood and felt some lingering feelings about trying to be fair and take a terrible one for myself. The problem is he probably doesn’t think the light-up plastic one is offensive at all. I digress. The others, though, are nice – one Italian one that a dear gave me when I got married and each year she adds another piece for a Christmas present. The other one, the mom-in-law brought back from Ireland. Heck, we had like 6 nativity sets. I divvied them up and freed up a lot of space in the storage area. I’m pleased to have the Irish one. Any takers on the “adorable” Precious Moments-esque one?

Hardest person to buy for? The Main Squeeze
Easiest person to buy for? My kids
Mail or email Christmas cards? This year it’s leaning heavily towards email. The mail cards haven’t gotten out reliably in 2 years. I get a batch or two out and then they wind up on my closet floor addressed and everything, just can’t seem to hit the mailbox from there. I don’t understand it, but it seems to be a thing.
Worst Christmas gift ever received? Well, I’ve never admitted this, but one year, I wanted a puppy so bad for Christmas. I mean REAL BAD. My dad HATES animals (But thanks to his wonderful wife, he’s since softened a little), so there was no chance in hell I was getting one, but I was still hoping that because I wanted it so badly, my parents would get it for me. No dice. I was 8 (same year as the clock radio). Santa brought me a placebo stuffed dog. White with brown spots and ears. I jumped up and down and put my face in it – only to hide my real emotion of sheer and utter disappointment (yep, I’m a total people pleaser). A few years later, a sister threw up all over it on a LONG car trip when my dad was driving on a curvy road like a bat out of hell (it was renamed Barfy at that moment – Seriously, my mother referred to it as Barfy the dog). We had to check into a motel just to clean up that poor wretch and throw that stuffed dog away. Hmmm… it’s not too late to turn this story into a country music song, is it?
Favorite Christmas movie? Love Actually
When do you start shopping for Christmas? I usually shop throughout the year due to sheer overwhelm of the Birthday Extravaganza of the boys’ Fall birthdays.
Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Most definitely. Bad wine that some lovely yet unsophisticated/cheap friend unknowingly purchased. I give it to another lovely yet unsophisticated friend and strongly suggest she cook with it.
Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Hooch dressing when possible. I also love oysters at Christmas – an adult onset thing.
Clear lights or colored on the tree? Both. See the two trees response. The fake one has mini colored lights. The live one has mini white lights. I do like Katherine’s idea of mixing sizes of white lights.
Favorite Christmas song? Well, I must start by saying that The First Noel bores the poof out of me. I just hate it a lot. On a more festive note: There is a simply gorgeous duet of O, Holy Night that about brings me to tears when I hear it. Then, there’s the Boston College University Chorale “theme song” Tolite Hostias (I have no idea how to spell it any more) which I am fairly certain you’d not be able to call that one up without some work with Google and then you still may not recognize it. It’s just festive and super fun to sing, which I have with my two BC Chorale alumnae sisters. Then, there’s the #1 Choral Hit of Christmas or Ever for that matter, the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also include Handel’s other best hit according to moi: For Unto Us a Child is Born. And in my heart of hearts, the solo I’m dying for someone to ask me to perform is Gesu Bambino (it’s the song that incorporates O, Come All Ye Faithful and has lots of pretty grace notes throughout). I sing that in the playroom to the toys on a regular basis (they’re a wonderful audience!). So, those are my top faves along with several secret musical confessions.
Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home for the event. Travel after a day or two of recovering from it AND while the boys are with their dad.
Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Yep. I also know the real words to the start of “Santa Claus is coming to town”
Angel on the tree top or a star? Stars on both. I would love an angel, but they all look like stupid, bad dolls and I just can’t bring myself to pay for cheap looking angels.
Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning.
Most annoying thing about this time of year? OH GOD!! Thanks for asking so I can scream this from the top of my hoarse lungs: those Radio Christmas Wish stories submitted by friends of people “in need” – like a dying couple, usually high school sweethearts married forever, still in love, who have been violently crushed by 1,000 pound steel coils (or something obscure and freakish), yet one is still miraculously working the factory production job with merely one arm and in a wheelchair due to her having no legs anymore while the husband is on a ventilator in ICU and their 8 children are in diapers, living with caring neighbors. SHUT UP!!! Like a turkey and a $200 Visa Gift Card are going to make a freakin’ dent!!!! GET REAL - HOW can they cook the stupid turkey in their conditions?! This is not helpful!!! They’ll have to puree it for Ventilator Husband! Where are people from their church?!?!? I swear, I think the striking writers are submitting these tales of woe. It’s NOT REAL! Give me a break. I can’t change the station fast enough. If I hear one more sobbing woman before 9:00, I’m going to find Barfy. Moving on….
Favorite ornament theme or color? I do several shades of red with gold. I collect Santa ornaments from around the world.
Favorite for Christmas dinner? Anything I don’t cook.
What do you want for Christmas this year? Here’s Katherine’s Response: I'll have to go with Molly on this one - are you kidding? I always want jewelry! ; )
I want a keyboard/piano. I was going to get it myself and found out that someone special was getting that for me. So, this year, Santa’s bringing me a faux fur throw from Tar-jhet (on sale for $19!), chocolates, maybe some music, and a piece of a garage organization system.

Christmas Copying

To quote my 5 year old, I'm poofed! My dad had a quadruple bypass last week and I cooked for and hostessed a Christmas soiree to end all for the Main Squeeze within the last week. I can't feasibly get anything else in my garage (car? HA!). The laundry is somewhere in one of my storage rooms and the 5 year old is out of underwear. SO, I'm going to post a quick little entertainment that I got from a Diva on email to tide you over until my head's above water (and hopefully the decongestants kick in and don't make me sleepy!). Here are your Christmas Party Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. They're just God-awful. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Gingerbread Cookies

Wonderful aromas from the kitchen are a great childhood memory of Christmas. You know Santa is on his way when you dress up for a Nutcracker performance and decorate gingerbread cookies. This is an old family recipe served up for you Divine Divas. Mmmm! I can almost smell the baking gingerbread. Ooh! Do I hear sleigh bells????? I just LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!

½ cup shortening
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1½ cups dark molasses
⅔ cup water
7 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp allspice
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp cloves
1 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350. Combine shortening, sugar, and molasses. Stir in water. Combine dry ingredients and add to creamed mixture, mixing well. Chill dough.

Roll dough ¼-inch think on lightly floured board. Cut with cookie cutters - I dip them in flour each time before cutting. Place far apart on greased sheets. Bake at 350 for 10 to 12 minutes. Yield 2½ dozen.

Spreading Cheer

Food for thought:

If you're feeling blue, worried about troubles, I highly recommend you volunteer at a battered women's shelter, soup kitchen, or homeless shelter - pronto, Pumpkin. The Gorgeous Creatures (aka Choral Group) and I sang this morning at such a place, and it was a spiritual treat. I can't tell you who felt better at the end. Tissues were passed around both for the guests and for the performers. One of the women there told us after the performance that she was crying not because she was sad about her situation, rather that she felt happy for the first time in a long time. I'll tell you, it certainly serves up instant perspective.

Be merry, Cupcake! You have many blessings. I for one adore you!
XOXO

Shopping Strategies

Out of the gate, I am compelled to tell you that I am a kamikaze shopper. I really don't like the malls. Stunning, n'est pas? But, they can come in handy around this time of the year - disgusting as they may seem (I have to pass a mall twice a day and dread it more and more as the traffic gets worse and worse). As a giving diva, I share my closely-guarded efficient shopping secrets with you, Poodle.
1. Of course, I find what I can on the internet - but that's sometimes more time-consuming than the mall (shriek!)
2. For those special people on your list, instead of giving a gift, give a memory. Which reminds me, Saucy Diva, when do you want to reschedule your birthday horseback ride? Oh! Back to the group ... a play, dinner out, a dinner in. For my kids, we put up the play tent in the living room, fill it with pillows, pop corn, and have movie marathons. They love it. 2 years ago at my nephew's, we watched Polar Express and ate s'mores that we cooked in the fireplace. We still talk about it with great fondness.
3. On that mall-avoiding note, you can create personalized gift certificates (my dad named them Goodfer's years ago 'cause it's "good for" something). Create a hiking outing, walk in the park, drive to the beach /mountains /country / Tuscaloosa, a knitting lesson, help decorating before a party ....
4. Visit locally-owned and operated stores. Katherine would love for each of you to call her at Jonathan Benton Booksellers and she will recommend books and take your order. (How much do you love me, Katherine????)
5. Shop at off-peak hours. Avoid lunch and post-school or post-work times. The least crowded times at the mall are when the stores just open. Check the paper or call the mall office for hours as they change closer to Christmas. In the same vein, shopping after 9 p.m. will avoid crowds.
6. Plants can make a nice gift for your gardening enthusiast (this Dish, though, kills inside plants, yet they flourish outside where they belong - so know your recipient on this).
7. Gifts in the Adult Beverage category are also great for us imbibers and do not require a trip to the mall.
8. Martha Stewart endorses homemade gifts. I plan on giving homemade salsa and tomato chutney made from items grown in my garden. I yearn for Divann's homemade cookies and treats. If you're at Chez Dish and you see a plate of delicious items from Divann - BACK AWAY. It has MY name on it, not yours. I'll share just about everything else, but not that. Dem's da berries.

Parking at the Mall
1. Don't try to find the closest spot. It does not exist. Plan on hiking and burn off those party calories.
2. Don't enter the first entrance. It's always more clogged.
3. Take a look-out when possible.
4. I seek those spots near the cart return and call that efficient (at Tar-jhay, of course!)
5. Do one loop and then give up - park at the back of the lot. Gas is getting expensive, my little Elf!

Good luck, Tinsel! XOXO!

Tree Tips, El Segundo

Keeping that Fresh, Sprucy Tree … Fresh
Once you’ve selected your tree, make sure the tree “professionals” cut about 1 inch off the trunk above the base while you’re at the lot. This removes clogged wood from it that prevents the tree from taking in water.

I know it’s exciting to take your tree home and put it up right away, but DON’T! (if you didn't cut it down yourself). The first day at home, your tree should absorb about a gallon of water. I do a lot of flower arranging and the same is true with fresh cut flowers. Cut them, then plunge your fresh item into a large bucket of water. Check every 4-6 hours to see if re-watering is necessary.

Why is this important? A tree that is well hydrated is less likely to become a blazing inferno. Really, isn't this what we're all after?!

How to keep a tree fresh and perky:
~ Regular tap water without anything added is fine as long as you do not allow the tree to dry out (if it dries out, it can’t absorb moisture as well once re-watered)
~ If you are compelled to add stuff to your tree, then save your change and mix up 1 quart of water, ½ cup light corn syrup, and 1 TEASPOON liquid bleach. Why? Water keeps it watered. Corn syrup gives it sugar (and everyone needs a little sugar to spice up life now and again!). ~ The bleach kills all the growing science experiment that forms when water stands, becomes room temperature, and dust or whatever else from the ornaments falls into it. Just make sure your cat/dog keeps to the toilet bowl for her drinking water.

Ready to light that baby up?
~ Of course, check the lights. You already know that.
~ If you don’t want your forearms looking like you have a pox upon you, then don dishwashing gloves (they also help save your manicure, Precious!)
~ Work from the inside base and move to the outer edges. There’s a big debate in my family whether to wrap individual branches or string the lights in a spiral manner, but I’ll spare you.
~ For a 6 foot tree, you need about 400-600 lights; for an 8 foot tree, 600-800
~ Once the lights are on, add the garland. For a 6-foot tree, you need 85-90 feet of garland; for an 8-foot tree, 130-145 feet.
~ For ornaments, start with your filler ornaments (solid color balls, apples, etc.) then add your special ornaments.
~ You need about 20 “filler ornaments” for every 2 feet of tree. Or an overall total, for a 6-foot tree, you’ll need about 85 total ornaments; for an 8-foot tree about 200
~ To add dept and interest, hang ornaments both on the outside of branches and on the inside of them

I am feeling very good now that I have taken my kids to a Christmas parade and completed TWO trees (one fake, one live). On to decorating the outside of Chez Dish.

Tree Tips, One in a Series

Ooooh! I just love, love, love this time of year!!! (do I sound like Eloise who lives at The Plaza or what?!) Despite being completely allergic to the Christmas tree sap, I can't wait to get a live one, decorate it, and admire it for nights on end. Whether it’s to make you feel festive, to shut the kids up, or feed your hungry vacuum cleaner … ‘tis the season, my Little Jingle, to get your tree.
Best Tree Tip #1. Before leaving for the lot, take your tree stand with you so that the tree can be cut to its specifications. Not only is this a frustration-saver, but you don’t have to break out the saw or clean up the ensuing mess.

Size Matters … so to speak. Measure the space (height and width) where the tree’s going before heading to the lot. Most standard rooms will easily fit a 7-foot tree; but if your room has a cathedral ceiling, you could go larger – just expect to pay a premium the larger the tree.

Great Rule of Thumb: Select a tree that is at least one foot shorter than the ceiling (you can fit that angel or star on it and accommodate the tree stand).

Freshness Dating (for your tree, not for your favorite Diva)
Find out when your lot’s trees are delivered. The shorter time period on the lot, the fresher the tree. AND: The more frequent the delivery, the fresher.

Freshness Testing
For Fir trees: Green needles on fresh trees break crisply when bent sharply with your fingers (imagine a carrot)
For Pine trees: Due to the different fibrous nature of pines, these needles do not break with the above-mentioned test unless they are dried out.

Lift the cut tree a few inches off the ground and let it drop on the bare trunk. Green needles should not drop off the tree; a few dried, inner needles = OK to fall, but not the outer ones

If you see excessive needle loss, discolored foliage, notice a musty odor, or see wrinkled bark, move along.

More later, my Sparkling Tinsel!

Back from Carnegie Hall

Hey, Divas and Dudes. There were no postings after early last week because I went to NYC for Thanksgiving and to rehearse (MANY hours a day) for an appearance at Carnegie Hall yesterday at 2:00 p.m. with John Rutter conducting his masterpiece, Magnificat. It was thrilling, exciting, amazing, exhausting, wonderful, and much more. I can't talk about it without crying. We got a standing ovation at the end, so that was a thrill of a lifetime ... as was the look of immense joy on Rutter's face as he threw his arms up in the air and threw his head back at the completion of the performance. (Photo here features Main Squeeze and Main Dish outside Carnegie Hall marquee).

So, what does a Main Dish do after coming home from Carnegie Hall? Laundry. More postings soon after I recover from the trip, arriving home in the wee hours, and doing mine and the boys' laundry for the last week. In the meantime, enjoy the photos and remember: Nothing is impossible. EVER!

Outside Carnegie Hall with a bunch of Gorgeous Creatures! (That's what I address choral group members as ... they are ALL Divas and I love them all!!!!)

With Diva Sarah at The Brandy Library in Soho Friday night.

Tuesday before leaving - Dress Rehearsal at Canterbury UMC, Choral Group Musical-Heart-Throb Terre Johnson conducting, CBS 42 filming over his shoulder, and with a crowd of more than 250 onlookers in the sanctuary. A truly amazing send-off!!!!

Quick Turkey Tips

If you have a frozen turkey and it’s still in the freezer, TURN YOUR CAR AROUND and pull it out of the freezer NOW!!!! And call in sick on your way back home. You have some serious work to do, but I’m here to help you out of your personal pickle with my Quick Turkey Tips.

Quick Defrost Option 1
You may thaw the bird in COLD water, in the original wrapping. The cold water must be changed every 30 minutes. Allow approximately 30 minutes per pound using this method.
Cold Water Turkey Thawing Time
Turkey Weight / Hours to Allow for Thawing Turkey
8 to 12 pounds / 4 to 6 hours
12 to 16 pounds / 6 to 8 hours
16 to 20 pounds / 8 to 10 hours
20 to 24 pounds / 10 to 12 hours
What a lovely way to spend your day (and night). Enjoy this a lot if you choose this option. Wear comfortable shoes, K?!

Quick Defrost Option 2
If you’re totally crunched for time, you can, if you’re brave, put the turkey in the microwave to defrost – if it fits. Just PLEASE follow the package instructions or your bird will take to the air until it hits the 6 walls of your microwave.

For the love of Pete, DO NOT …
Leave a turkey on the counter overnight to defrost. In the time it takes the center to defrost, the surface of the turkey could become warm enough for salmonella to set in. Plus, it gives Fido/Fifi the opportunity for a very large and gross snack. [Insert horror film music here] You know I'm serious about this - I had a bad case of colitis this year (while it wasn't from turkey sitting out, I would HATE for anyone to get colitis for any reason, but especially from turkey).
What size turkey do I need to buy? Purchase at least one pound of uncooked turkey per person when purchasing a whole turkey. You'll have enough for the feast and for leftovers, too.
Frugal Tip: Food stores may run specials on whole turkeys during some holiday periods. Take advantage of this and purchase 2 birds and storing one in the freezer for the next holiday event.
What's the Fastest Way to Cook Turkey? Use an oven bag (I love these things!!!!) and roast a 24-pound turkey in about 3-1/2 hours. IMPORTANT: Spray the sides of the oven bag with Pam to keep it from sticking AND brush vegetable oil on the skin of the turkey so it will turn golden brown.
Do not cook turkey all night at a low oven temperature. Cooking at low oven temperatures increases the risk of insuring a terrible 24 hours following your meal (salmonella + lots of time with the Porcelain God).
Can I Roast Turkey Ahead of Time and Reheat It Whole? Not so much, unless you want a turkey the texture of cardboard. Nice try, though. If you insist on doing this, slice the roasted turkey and place it in a foil-lined pan. Spoon chicken broth over the turkey to re-moisten it.
Can I Stuff the Turkey the Day Before? Combine only the dry ingredients the day before. If you don't have a large enough bowl, use a handy-dandy oven bag (I’m overly fond of them, you know!) to combine dry ingredients. When ready to stuff the turkey, add remaining stuffing ingredients to the oven bag and toss to mix. To bake, transfer stuffing to the cavity of the turkey or to a foil-lined pan.
Speaking of Stuffing It:Stuffing should be prepared and stuffed into the turkey immediately before it's placed in the oven for cooking.
Stuff the turkey loosely, about 3/4 cup stuffing per pound of turkey. Do NOT overstuff the turkey – remember, it expands while cooking – and if it doesn’t cook thoroughly, it will be a Thanksgiving to forget.
Remove the stuffing from the turkey before the turkey is carved.
Other Preparation Pointers
· Juices from the turkey will baste the meat as it cooks. For added moisture, pour 1/2 cup water in the bottom of the pan and brush the turkey with oil or unsalted butter and seasonings/herbs.
· Place an aluminum foil tent over the breast during the first 1 to 1-1/2 hours of cooking, then remove the foil to allow for browning.
· For easier carving, allow the turkey to stand 20 minutes once removed from the oven.
How Long Can Cooked Turkey Be Left At Room Temperature For Snacking? After cooking, remove stuffing immediately and slice turkey. Refrigerate leftovers. Never leave roasted turkey, stuffing or gravy at room temperature for more than 2 hours.

For Turkey, Will Travel?

If you are a guest, here’s how to get invited back and not stuck being the host next year:

~ Arrive no earlier than the time the host has announced and no later than half an hour after the time.
~ Stay about an hour after dinner unless travel plans or sleepy children necessitate leaving earlier.
~ Bring a gift plus a bottle of wine if you're not bringing a dish or two
~ Offer to help set up for dinner and to clean afterward
~ Notify the host of any special dietary needs IN ADVANCE -- if you are a vegetarian, diabetic, or allergic to common foods. Better yet, bring a special dish yourself.
~ If you're going to a potluck Thanksgiving, bring a serving dish with your contribution. Take a page from my supper club and prepare it at home and bring any serving pieces necessary.

Write a thank you note. These people are completely exhausted after catering to you, so the least you can do is thank them in writing. Wouldn't your Mama be proud?! You know it's the right thing to do anyway.

Bon Appetit!

Dishin’ Turkey with Marjorie, The Main Dish

The big cooking day is one week away, so I'm at your service serving up tips just for you, my little Giblet! Let us give thanks that Thanksgiving is a one day feast – and won’t drag on for days like the original one did.

One Ground Rule: If you’re one of those folks who believe it’s just not Thanksgiving without Great Aunt Lulu’s famous hooch dressing and you’re going to be ticked if the idiot your brother married doesn’t include it again this year. Here's how to avoid your utter disappointment:
1) Make it yourself
2) Let the hostess know you’re bringing it (If you're not making the beloved dish yourself, proceed directly to the next step)
3) SHUT UP!

Keep focused: Thanksgiving is about families, working yourself to death, worrying in advance about other people’s behavior, and eating yourself silly.

If you are the host/ess, here are tips to keep your head above the dish-water:
~ Whenever anyone offers to help or bring a dish, say, "I’d love for you to! What do you have in mind?" If they need prodding, suggest staples like sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, vegetables, wine, or … my favorite, squash soup. WAIT! What am I thinking? Wine IS my favorite. Though, I do love squash soup.
~ Use hollowed bread loaves for serving cheese or dips. Save your serving pieces and spare the dishwasher.
~ Before the guests arrive, sit in each chair to make sure each guest won’t whack others with elbows, or constantly kick the person across from them.
~ Include favorite kids' foods, especially those they can eat by hand (you know that louse your sister married is only a giant kid anyway!)
~ Plan at least one low-calorie dish and consider a vegetarian option.
~ Before dessert, clear the table, and fill the sink with soapy water so stuff can soak
~ When creating your shopping list, don’t forget candles, flowers, and be sure to pick up club soda for immediate spot removal
~ Save food containers and grocery bags for packing up leftovers and handing them out to guests on their way out.
~ Bake desserts and side dishes that can be refrigerated and confirm deliveries from food services or caterers.
~ Create a timetable for the cooking that has to be done on Thanksgiving Day so everything will be ready at mealtime.
~ Don't forget breakfast on Thanksgiving morning. Cereal, frozen waffles, or fruit are low-prep ideas. Heck, if you’re cooking the big meal, send a caravan-load of folks to IHOP or Mickey D’s for Pete’s sake! Don’t make any more work for yourself. It also gets that rowdy kid out of your house and you get a moment's peace.

Off to stick my head in the oven. Toodles!

Crockin' Out

My, my! This topic is certainly heating up, Kitten!

I simply must tell you before I launch ahead that at this very moment, the Chicken Artichoke dish 2 posts ago is cooking downstairs - it's been much too long since I enjoyed it. Since posting the recipe, I can't get it off my mind, so might as well cook it and force it down the boys' throats for dinner just for sport. Oh, and I'm simultaneously cooking 2 batches of Fabulous Brownies (Food for Thought, Jr. League cookbook) for The Market. I feel so efficient! And I'm completely hopeful that these wonderful simmering concoctions will fill my home with a lovely aroma ... that will cover up the chili I burned to smithereens on Friday which stank up my entire abode just 2 days before a 5 year old birthday party. For the record, I haven't burned supper ever, so I'm over-due.

At the par-tay, I served a shrimp dip that is so easy and delicious, that it would be a domestic crime for me not to share it. AND you can prepare it in your crock pot (LOOK! I've finally arrived back on topic).

1 can cream of shrimp soup
8 oz cream cheese (reduced fat, of course!)
couple splashes of Worcestershire sauce

On the stove: Cut up the cream cheese into cubes. Dump in cream of shrimp soup. Splash in Worcestershire sauce to taste. Stir. Melt. Stir some more. Serve. Refresh your container every 3o minutes or so to ensure warmth of dip for your invitees' palates.

In the crock pot: same directions, just set the pot on low and give it 2 hours to get to the consistency of dip.

I doubled the recipe. I had about 40 people at the back yard soiree and have left-overs (I'm going to put it on loaded baked potatoes tomorrow night for supper). Kids and grown ups loved it. I served it with Tostitos. Slice green onions or add chopped cilantro on the top if you want to add color. I didn't think the kiddies would go for that "suspicious green stuff", so I skipped it this time.

Oh! There goes the oven timer. Toodles!

Crack-pot Crock-pot Rapid Response

Please note the survey to the left and participate. Saucy Diva is dying for cold hard numbers.

This is my crock pot. Isn't it ugly??? It's the only thing I own that sports a country style theme. My dearly departed grandmother gave it to me when I was in college. I'd never heard of crock pots before that. I didn't even use it until I was 35 and had moved it approximately 6 times before plugging it in. My favorite things to cook in the crock pot these days:

Artichoke Chicken & Pasta that serves 4-6:
1 ½ lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 8 oz. package fresh, sliced mushrooms (always a time-saver to buy the sliced variety!)
2 6-oz. jars marinated artichoke hearts, drained
1 tbsp. minced garlic (another time-saver is to buy the jar of minced garlic)
¼ C. white wine (I generally am a bit liberal with this measurement!)
1 tsp. black pepper
1 sprig each of fresh basil, oregano, and rosemary (if you don’t grow them in your yard, use a pinch of each from your spice collection)
Angel Hair Pasta or Spaghetti

Combine all ingredients except pasta in the crock pot. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. Cook pasta. Put pasta in bowls and ladle the contents over it. It comes out looking like a pasta dish with sauce. Even my kids like to eat this!

You can have instant Mexican Night when you walk in the door compliments of your crock pot with Beef Tortillas (and the kids love this, too!)
1 lb. ground beef
1 (10 oz) can of Italian tomato soup
Pinch of basil
1 C. your favorite chunky salsa
¼ C. milk
6 tortillas
1 C. shredded Cheddar cheese

In advance, brown your ground beef in a skillet. Then place cooked beef in slow cooker. Combine soup, basil, and salsa. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. During last hour of cooking time, stir in milk. Spoon mixture into tortillas; add cheese (or other favorite garnishes) just before serving.

Just last night, Diva Ann emailed me asking, "Diva Marjorie, What is a good recipe for a cold night drink to warm your insides, please? Ann" I emailed her back a quick stop-gap solution. Should you want to share with others, here’s a tasty toddy to raise your crock pot spirits --

Sweet Hot Buttered Rum (you know I do love a festive adult beverage):
2 C. brown sugar
2 C. confectioner’s sugar
½ C. butter
Pinch of salt
3 sticks cinnamon
4 cloves
1 ½ quarts water
4 C apple juice
Cook for 5 hours on low (with the cover on, silly!).
Then, stir in 2 cups rum (I prefer dark, but suit yourself) or rum extract.
Ladle into mugs (with this quantity, Pumpkin, consider sharing). Garnish with whipped cream or a scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream and a sprinkling of nutmeg.

Bottoms up!

Get Cracking with Crock Pot Cooking

QUICK!! Everybody, catch your collective breaths. Halloween is over and your schedule is all of a sudden in full swing. Your mailbox is stuffed with catalogs and the start of the fall party season is about to hit you in the face. Without any planning, in no time, you’ll be flailing your arms helplessly due to overwhelm … not to mention the guilt of not being able to put a healthy, warm, home-cooked meal in front of your hungry brood on a chili night (I can do this; it's my blog).

Before those forks turn into pitchforks, quick! Pull out your crock pot (a.k.a. slow cooker) and get ready to whisk those guilt-inspired frozen dinners back into the freezer section!

Princess, I’m all about grills and slow cookers. Why? Simple: Fewer pots and pans to wash and faster clean up. This time of year, you need to get time on your side as much as possible. Enter slow cooker!

Advantages of slow cooking:
~ The long cooking time brings out the flavors.
~ The lower temperatures lessen the chance of food sticking to the bottom (less mess)
~ You can use inexpensive or tough meats, like chuck roasts or stew beef because the meat is tenderized with the long cook time.
~ It frees your oven and stove top for other uses. Don’t forget that for your next large party or the just-around-the-corner holiday meal.
~ Convenience! A slow cooker can usually be left to do its thing all day without any competent adult supervision.

Basic Tips for Slow Cooking:
~ Buy roasts and other large cuts of meat that will fit in your crock pot, or plan to trim them to fit.
~ Root vegetables, such as potatoes, carrots, and onions, should be placed in the bottom of the pot, under the meat -- they tend to cook more slowly than meat.
~ Colors tend to fade in slow cooked foods, but a garnish such as chopped fresh parsley, chives, tomatoes, red peppers, cheese, or sour cream can add visual appeal.
~ Fill the crock pot no more than 2/3 full
~ Dairy products usually don’t do well in crock pots – the milk curdles. You get the pictorial. You can add sour cream, for example, the last hour or two of cooking. Ditto fish and seafood.
~ Don’t peek! If you open the top while cooking, add 20-30 more minutes to the cooking time! That sets a girl back, n’est pas?!

Off to check the Diva Deep Freeze to see what's in there so I can plan the next crock pot feast. Will report back shortly.

Etiquette Emergency - Please Respond

My pal, Saucy Diva, has a conundrum and would very much like input. She has recently been ill, trapped in her diva digs for days on end, and feeling like yesterday's trash. A very good friend of hers offers to bring groceries or cook. Saucy Diva elects to have friend cook for her because she's so lethargic, she can't muster the energy to do so for herself. Additionally, she tells her good friend (PS not me) that she'd really enjoy the company. Saucy Diva's words follow:

She's excited! She comes over this morning with a mac & cheese casserole & a chicken casserole. She laughs & says: it calls for "such & such" but I didn't have any so it's not in there. And it calls for Ritz crackers on top but I didn't have any so I put Saltines. We laughed about it & hung out for a while. Tonight I go to eat the chicken casserole & it hasn't been cooked. I called her & got directions. Um...I can't recall what she said was missing but it was probably THE ingredient that counteracted the shaker of salt. I may have gained a pound from one serving. Question: How do I tell her? I have to. If we weren't so close I wouldn't bother, but she'd never made it before, she should know before she makes it again. Should I thank her & tell her how yummy it was and say, fyi, you might want to mark your recipe to reduce the salt to 1/10th what it calls for next time you make it.??? She isn't some Sensitive Sally but I also don't want to seem ungrateful!! (I'm not sure what I should add to it to reduce the salt. Otherwise I don't think I can eat it again & what a waste!!! I feel terrible! She went to all that trouble AND I was excited to have someone cook for me!) I mean, would you want to know? And I WOULD want to know- I wouldnt' want someone to lie when they just tossed it in the garbage bc they couldn't eat it!

Please Dish with the Divas and post your suggestions. I have already given Saucy Diva my opinion, but since she's already heard from me, let's hear from you. I'll tell you later what I suggested. Go on, click on "comments" over there below and to the right at the end of this posting, even if you post as Anonymous Diva / Dude. And Saucy Diva, please join our conversation.

XOXOXO

Mane Concerns - A Hairy Topic

Now that we’ve got those kids heading back to school and out of our collective hair before the holiday season is upon us, we can untangle a few things. Like a fresh look for fall for you, Glamour Puss! Starting from the top, I’ve got tips so you’ll be razor sharp and haircut savvy! I went to my stylist of choice, Bobby Pierce (401-6696). While I'm thinking of it - he will work miracles to get you in. I ask you when was the last time someone did that for you???

Top What NOT to do:

• Do NOT go in, tell the stylist you want a change but not change the cut or color (really, this happens all the time!). If you do want a change, be prepared to explain what kind of change you’re looking for such as length, style, color. For example, when I was driving a cute, red, 2-seater convertible, my specific request was to have a hair cut that could go topless … so to speak.
• Do Not expect your stylist to be a mind-reader. If you don’t know what you want, make an appointment for a consultation, not a cut. During this time, you can look through images, discuss your likes, and options.
• Don’t expect a cut to dramatically change your hair. An excellent cut will flatter your features and suit your lifestyle and personality.
• Don’t show up late for an appointment. If you’re 10 minutes late, the stylist has 10 fewer minutes to do an excellent job. Now, if your stylist runs late consistently, make a habit of calling the salon before you leave for the appointment to check to see how s/he’s running time-wise that day.
• Don’t bring your posse. Your friends disrupt your stylist’s concentration and often times get in the way. Instead, meet the girls for lunch or drinks afterwards so they can ooh and aah.
• Don’t necessarily change your hair when things aren’t working in your life. I love a style change, but think about it: What if you hated your life AND your hair?! Drastic measures may have to be taken.
• On the same token, Bobby advises that you should never let a stylist talk you into a radical change. Phase it in. Especially if you and your stylist are developing your relationship. I’ve been going to Bobby for nearly 6 years. I know his mother makes too many quilts and gives them away as presents. He has a weakness for kittens. I won’t tell you what he knows about me except to say, we almost have a mind-meld. If you are not this tight with your stylist, don’t let him/her call the shots.
• If you are changing your hair, tell the stylist to be conservative with the cut.
• Don’t get stuck in a rut. Bobby advises that after 2 years, you should change your cut. You don’t want to be one of those ladies in their late 60’s who has had the same cut for 40 years and everybody wonders who in the world is still making a living outside a nursing home doing pin curls!
• Don’t slide into the chair and say, “I love what you did to my hair 3 times ago.” Your stylist has performed about 500 hair cuts since then, two being on you, and has absolutely no recollection of the cut. If you want the cut from 3 times ago, bring a photo of your cut to help refresh memories.

Here are some hair style DO’s:

• Choose the right shampoo and conditioner. If you want lots of volume, which, by the way is going to be big for fall, choose products that say “Extra Volume” on the label.
• Find the right hairstylist. Ask people whose haircuts you like. Karen Lehane formerly of NBC-13 turned me on to Bobby. I think she has great style, plus she’s really smart. Always a great combo with great hair!
• Maintain your style. Know how long it takes your hair to grow out. For most non-ethnic people it’s somewhere between 4-8 weeks. In the warmer months, hair grows faster.
• After a certain age, short hair on women becomes more flattering. To the face, to the energy, and to the over-all look. Short lengths lifts the face and is generally more healthy, vibrant hair, therefore projecting a more healthy, vibrant person. You look ready for life with short hair. I have short hair, and it’s not because I’ve reached a “certain age”; it’s because I think short hair is sassy and I’m sorta’ sassy, ergo ….
• Ask your stylist to talk you through how to style your new haircut while s/he’s styling it. Many times, you can practice in the chair. Most people don’t know this.
• The same basic cuts never go out of style – it’s how they are styled. You can never go wrong with a classic bob or layers. Mullets, not so much. It’s the variation on styling the cuts that keep your cut looking up-to-date.

Looks for the Fall:

• Red is the new blond. Wa-hoo!
• Colors go “warm” instead of “brassy”
• Curls are back. We’re talking body waves, round brush, and maybe spirals. The flat look of the 1970’s is gone. And curly-headed women will be heard sighing the collective sigh of relief. Adieu, flat iron!
• Easy and quick to fix. Great news for those lucky divas driving convertibles!

I’m off to book another appointment with Bobby before you start hogging all his appointment slots. XOXOXO

Halloween Thoughts

Adults are the #1 freak-show for spending for Halloween. (Kids still rack up on the candy, though.) Halloween is gaining on Christmas for the highest spending holiday category. The National Retail Federation expects consumers to spend about $4.96 billion on Halloween cards, candy, costumes, and decorations. That translates to about $60 per average consumer. And that number is up 51% over last year. It’s the 2nd or 3rd biggest party (depending on who’s counting) behind the Super Bowl and New Year’s Eve. So, what’s the scare scoop?

There really is a Great Pumpkin, apparently. Or folks are jumping on the Linus Bandwagon. There is a surge in Great Pumpkin Parties across the nation, complete with “Boo Gifts” from the large round fellow (who in my imagination looks remarkably like Coach Phil Fulmer, but I digress). It seems to me that if this is going to be a trend, there are folks who could burn up some of their spare time volunteering at a soup kitchen – serving, of course, pumpkin or squash soup!

Did you know that Hallmark is producing over 300 different Halloween cards this year?! That boggles my mind.

The largest age group going over-the-top for Halloween consists of folks 18-24. 85% of them are throwing some kind of Halloween-Bash. And please note that Halloween parties aren’t limited to one week anymore – it’s a month-long celebration. Pumpkin, get partying!!!! FAST!

I am starting to wonder when people are REALLY going to get smart and COMBINE Halloween and Oktoberfest. Back to the topic....

After taking the goblins trick-or-treating, it's adult Toddy Time! Here's what I'm whipping up in my cauldron .... Caramel Apple Pie Tini
1-3/4 oz Bailey's with a hint of Caramel
1/3 oz. Smirnoff's Twist Green Apple Vodka (slurp!)
1/3 oz applesauce
Dash of caramel syrup

Pour applesauce in the bottom of a martini glass. Dash your caramel syrup on top of that. Shake remaining ingredients in your dazzling cocktail shaker with ice. Strain and pour yourself into bed. Gotta' rest those tootsies that I crammed into witch boots all day (it's amazing what a girl will do to entertain small children)! Might as well enjoy a cocktail while lounging!

RED SOX SWEEP!! SWEET!!

Off to celebrate. Back soon. XOXOXO

Donde est La Diva?

I know, I know. No postings in 5 days. Bad Main Dish. It's the busy time of year with my PR biz, so of course, I scheduled 2 babies during this time of year (several years ago) just to make things more interesting - hence, I'm on the Kiddie Birthday Party Merry Go Round. New parents are so naive! Little did I know then, it's also relentless soccer season and fall ball for tykes (however, I really do love it all). Not to mention football and World Series.

Which brings me to the confession: I have been watching MUCH more TV than normal just to follow my beloved Boston College whip up in the last 2 minutes on VA Tech (who otherwise was handing it to us on a big platter) and the Bo Sox in the World Series - yea! I about withered last night due to it being a travel day, so the Main Squeeze and I planned a Christmas party that will happen about 2 weeks after I return from my Carnegie Hall debut.

Last weekend, the Main Squeeze and I visited Camp Mac and the McBride family - la-la-love them a lot. Allen took the photo of us in the Talladega National Forest (also pictured are Shot Gun and Jake- above and left).

Sorry for the delay. Here's your Diva Lifestyle Reminder for the week: Sometimes, especially when things are beyond hectic, get out of your routine and do something unexpected and get a breath of fresh air. A horseback ride followed by a hike to a gorgeous vista does just the trick!

For Boston, For Boston!!!

(The title is the first line of the Boston College Song. Click here to hear the melodious refrain http://graphics.fansonly.com/schools/bc/multimedia/bc-for-boston.mp3)

I'm beyond ecstatic over my Red Sox winning the Pennant AND GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES as well as BC RANKED #2 in both BCS and AP polls (they didn't play this week and moved up a notch - LOVE THAT!).

Being a baseball and football fan, though I remain eagerly yet cautiously optimistic as both teams have a reputation for heartbreak - and curses. Of course, the Bo Sox broke The Curse when they spanked the Yankees in the World Series a few years ago (still happy about that). I am wondering if Ohio hasn't broken the apparent curse this season for impending doom-like upsets for #1 and #2 ranked teams. Here's hoping!!!

All of a sudden I'm less concerned about the weird kicking strategy Auburn employed Saturday evening and the totally incredible LSU coaching decision what with the Boston sports situation. Now, I'm really considering going to the BC-Clemson game in a few weeks - being the most geographically convenient, but my schedule is a disaster. What do you think, Poodle?

More later.

Diva Doins

Alerting you to the latest cool Diva thing to do TODAY:

Young Birmingham Diva, Jennifer Adams will be at Jonathan Benton Booksellers (Mtn. Brook) from 4:00-6:00 p.m. signing her new book, Mixing New Orleans, two topics near and dear to my heart: Mixed drinks in New Orleans. Now, this is research I HAVE to know about!! Jennifer took a leave of absence from her "real" job, moved to New Orleans, and literally drank her way through it!!! With intentions to benefit the good of the group. WOW! Impressive.

Can't make it today? No worries. Call Jonathan Benton Bookseller at (205) 870.8840 to reserve your copy and have it signed while she's there and pick it up as you're able. This book makes a great gift for the holidays for the special Diva or Dude in your life!

The drink on the book cover photo is a Pimm's Cup. "I discuss the Pimm's cup and the city's most famous location for drinking them (The Napoleon House) in the book. The Napoleon House is widely considered the best place in New Orleans for a Pimm's Cup and they go through hundreds of them a day," she told me. Jennifer's recipe is:
1 3/4 ounces Pimm's No. 1
7 up
Cucumber Slice
Fill tall Collins glass with ice cubes. Add Pimm's and fill remaining with 7 up. Stir and garnish with a cucumber slice.

Jennifer told me that her favorite drink lately is a mojito. "The Mojito in the shot that I am holding is Fresh Berry Mojito from the Marigny Brasserie on Frenchman Street in New Orleans. The place is not in the book because, well, it's not old. But, it is a great off-the-beaten-path place to grab a drink and their mojitos are legendary." Just special tips for you, my fabulous readers! By the way, doesn't Jenny look like a toddy expert you want to hang out with?!

When I told Jenny that the mojito in her hand here didn't look like any mojito I've had the pleasure of encountering, she responded, "The recipe for the one I am holding I don't have, but it is basically fresh berries (strawberries, raspberries and blackberries) macerated and soaked in Champagne overnight. Then those are added to a glass with mint and a little sugar. They are then muddled in the bottom of the glass and ice and light rum are added and some soda water. It is garnished with a slice of strawberry."

'Scuse me while I run out for ingredients, this great toddy book (supporting a LOCAL bookstore), and to make reservations on Express Jet to The Big Easy. Cheers!

Vampires and Homicidal Maids

Do you ever get the feeling that there's something sinister in the air??? People conspiring against you??? Is it getting close to Halloween and folks taking it a wee bit too seriously? I offer the following true, scary story ...

The professional cleaning service who "cleans" my house is trying to kill yours truly -- a good, paying customer for many years. ME!!! I work out of my house. Been doing so for the last 15 years. Anyway, yesterday morning during the routine cleaning unbeknownst to moi, the cleaning team put a toxic concoction in all of the toilets. I did hear a sizzling sound throughout the day, but assumed it was due to the fantastic purple and silver scarf wrap I was wearing over my all-black outfit. It did look good. My shoes ... Oh, sorry. Right. Posting. I'm back. So, I was here working ALL DAY breathing POISON. If I didn’t before, I have some kind of breathing problem now – I can barely catch my breath and the stuff dripping in my throat is like slime from New Jersey. The headache I had last night was beyond horrendous. Imagine my surprise when my doorbell rang this morning. The cleaning service showed up unannounced at 9 a.m. after I complained. I'm starting to think that they were checking to see if they'd done me in yet or if they needed to try again.

I was home when the homicidal cleaners showed up BECAUSE my 4 year old BIT my 6 year old approximately 5 seconds before we HAD to walk out the door. I'm talking punctured and bruised skin kind of bite. LORD! Anyway, I had to punish the biter and the bitee had to be at school. Yeah. Fun morning.

Whaddya think, Kitten? Can I blame the biting behavior on the sinister toxic fumes pulsating through my home's ventilation system? Should I terminate the cleaning service before they terminate me? I'm leaning towards yes.

SHRIEK!!!

Boston College is ranked #3 in the BCS and AP!!! I just fainted!

Better go to http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/rankingsindex for the whole list, Pumpkin. I'm off for a celebratory toddy!

Get Your Yard in Gear, Part III - Final Chapter

I am compelled to finish what I started, so I submit the final chapter of the fall yard tips. We'll move on to what you're clamoring for (tee, hee!) - Halloween topics.

Turning to Trees
Looking around, you notice the gorgeous colors - if your trees aren't dormant due to the drought. Don't freak out YET about your seemingly dead trees, bushes, or plants until the spring if you're in my neck of the woods, the "Severe Drought Zone". Hopefully, we'll get some rain so as not to further tax our perennials. But back to the topic...
What’s your favorite fall foliage color, Pumpkin? Not all leaves contain sufficient amounts of pigment to produce vibrant color, which is why the leaves of some trees turn from green to brown. Here's a list of some of the best fall-foliage trees:
Yellow: sugar maple, tulip poplar tree
Orange to rust: sugar maple
Red: red maple, oak
Mixed colors: dogwood, crape myrtle, sweet gum, pear, sassafras.
If you're looking for trees with excellent fall foliage, visit local nurseries when the colors are at their peak. Fall is also the best time to plant trees because it gives the roots time to establish before the summer heat beats down on the tree. Trees for planting are often on sale at the end of the growing season.

Roses
· Fall is not the ideal time to prune roses. This could stimulate new growth that may not be able to survive much longer. Do cut off any dead wood.
· Replace ties with jute twine. Natural fibers make the best ties because they are more flexible. They will break down over time. At that point, though, it will be time to retie the plants anyway.

Fall Gardening Resources:
Weather.com – Home & Garden, Lawn & Garden. Put in your zip code and it tells you what plants grow in the climate as well as a garden forecast. You can also put in a plant name and month and it tells you what to do with that plant.

Scotts.com - I signed up for their email list on what to do to my lawn and when. You put in your zip code and type of grass you have. It's an excellent service, I guess; they didn't have any drought tips and sent out emails to my withering zip code encouraging all sorts of planting. So, take it, as with everything else, with a grain of salt. Otherwise, a great resource.

Your local county extension office

Auburn University (or your local land grant university)

Off to brush up on pumpkin tips for tomorrow. Toodles, Poodles!

My Eyes, My Eyes. A Reprise, of sorts

Several of you close to the Main Dish got an email or heard the story this summer. I post it now for the good of the group. We had another incident in the car this very afternoon before soccer with hand sanitizer. Muffin, remind me to program Poison Control into my cell phone. Here's the original story and what to do:

The Brainiac is watching the SpongeBob Network downstairs resting before the T-Ball play-off game. I’m upstairs working. Suddenly, I hear loud, awful shrieks of agony: “Ow, ow, ow. Mommy, help!!! HELP!!! I’m blind. I’m BLIND!!!!!”

I don’t think I hit a stair running to him, those words being pretty alarming to a parent. In a burst of wisdom, the child, watching TV, decided that he needed sunscreen (he won’t be going outside for hours, by the way) and starts applying to his face. Of course, it runs into his eyes; hence, the ear-piercing screams akin to amplified nails on a chalkboard. Apparently, sunscreen REALLY BADLY stings when it gets in the eyes. I quickly wet a washcloth and put it on his eyes, but that didn’t work for long. Then I knocked off everything from my bathroom counter, hoisted the kid (boy, he’s heavy!) up there lying down, stuck his head under the faucet and ran water. The screaming intensified as he bumped his head on the faucet trying to … well, I don’t know what he was trying to do. I left him there, told him NOT TO MOVE, and I called the doctor’s office, who told me to call Poison Control. I was surprised since he hadn’t ingested it (Thank GOD!), but the nice lady at Poison Control knew exactly what to say.

You know, I’ve read: “Avoid contact with eyes. If contact occurs, flush thoroughly.” It seems straightforward enough, but now when faced with it I wondered how to properly flush an eye – especially an eye belonging to someone other than me. So, Poison Control Lady told me to put the screaming banshee in the shower for 15 minutes. The Sun-Screamer doesn’t even have to keep their eyes open and it will still work. The eyes may appear blood-shot, but don’t put any eye drops in the eye for 24 hours. He’s totally fine, by the way. Can see SpongeBob clearly from a distance once again.

Side note: I'd been using the sunscreen stick on the boys' faces ALL SUMMER. Why he thought to squirt the stuff on his face ... oh yeah, he's a a boy and boys will do weird, strange things, so just get over it (I'm channeling the Main Squeeze, a successful father of a successfully grown boy).

May you never need this information! But if you do, please note that the same approach applies when hand sanitizer is squirted into the hand and bits of it splash into the eye. Although, a mom feels much more helpless driving down the road away from home at 45 mph than in the comfort of her own abode. Thank goodness for bottled water.

Tap, tap, tap. Is this thing on?

Quick reminders (random order) for you awesome Divas and Dudes-

1. Vote in the poll to the left. I cater to your whims ... um ... except for one of you and you know who you are, though the incessant tries for about 2 years are amazingly flattering :)
2. Please visit my sponsors.
3. Post to the blog instead of emailing moi your comments. They're terrific. The group wants you to share. Really. Why should I be the one to have all the fun?

Guys, have you purchased your purple tie or shirt for the season? Tick, tick - fall's here! Love those shoes, Poodle. And Kitten, that color is amazing on you. You are the best-looking group of blog readers ever!

So, I had to break up the Fall Foliage/ Yard Work Parade (let me know if you're clamoring for Part III, 'cause you know I have it in the wings - post to the blog!!!!). While I do love, love, love a theme, I had to interject a little of my own personal spice. After all, all yard work and no play leaves a Main Dish ... well, heading for the shower thanks to all this humidity!

Kisses!

Get Your Yard In Gear, Part II

Don’t let your pots rot
Disinfect pots to get rid of moss and soil residue that may have disease:
· First, soak the pots in a sink, bucket, or bowl filled with a solution of one part bleach to ten parts water. Then scrub them inside and out with a scouring pad or bristle brush (Do you still have a baby bottle cleaning brush? Use that – it’s perfect).
· To prevent buildup of icky mold, let pots dry completely before stacking and storing by laying them on their sides, one tucked inside another
· Never stack pots vertically—changes in temperature and humidity will make them swell, causing them to stick together and they’ll break when you pull them apart. Didja' know that, Kitten?

Don’t be a tool to your tools
· Since tools seldom become obsolete, it makes sense to keep them going as long as possible.
· At the end of your gardening time, wipe off dirt and moisture
· Every couple of months, sharpen dulled edges, grease creaky hinges, and replace missing parts. · Disinfect pruners before using them on other plants as you remove spent blooms and foliage throughout the garden.

Light – Bulb on Bulbs
As far as planting goes, bulbs are on my mind, specifically tulips, crocuses, jonquils, and irises.
· Plant them before the ground freezes.
· Keep them in a cool, dry place until you plant them (mine are in my garage refrigerator currently)
· You don’t necessarily have to dig them up year after year.
· When selecting bulbs, bigger is better. Large bulbs produce more impressive blooms.
· Bulbs should be firm and look fresh
· Plant them with the fat side down. I'll bet you wondered about that.
· They need to be planted in well-drained soil. When bulbs fail, it's usually because they rotted in wet ground. Most bulbs prefer full sun. I know I do.

More to follow, my little garden mumsie. I'm on a roll. Yard bags adorn my curbside hoping to be picked up tomorrow (Columbus Day - we just never know when the city trucks have a mystery day off!). Toodles!

Fall is here. Get your yard in gear. Part I

The weather is gorgeous outside. The humidity is gone and hair isn’t frizzing so much. It will probably get hot again, yet there are no worries of a freeze any time soon, so you can’t really winterize. But you can organize, my little Mumsie!

Fall is a great time to plant perennials, bulbs, trees and shrubs. Fall maintenance gardening primarily consists of weeding, deadheading, dividing overgrown plants, removing spent annuals, amending soil and adding needed mulch.

Schedule the work over several weekends so it doesn’t become overwhelming. Take a walk around your garden and look at how all the plants did over the summer. If you're yard's like mine, your precious plants are mostly dead due to the drought. Moving on:

Clean up your act: Cut down and remove the past season’s annuals and vegetables, shake soil from roots and add them to the compost pile. Cut back faded or dead foliage on perennials after the first hard frost, and compost.

Top Dress (plunging neckline, anyone?): Top-dress the area you take plants from. Topdressing means applying a layer of fertilizer, mulch, or compost to enrich the soil; all of these provide nutrients and organic matter that leach into the soil throughout the winter.

Intensive Care. Check the overall health of plants; look for diseases and damage.
· Rake up and compost fallen leaves on the lawn, and pull weeds.
· Start planning for mulch. Put that blanket on in a few weeks to protect plants.
· Brush off any mulch that is sitting on branches of shrubs because it can cause leaves and needles to yellow.

Princess Perennials
Perennials can be cut back for the next season: Cut the stems off right near the ground, giving the plants a neat appearance and readying them for spring re-growth. To save the plants you use for cooking, such as rosemary and thyme, pot them in a suitable container, place them in a sunny area in your kitchen, and use them throughout the winter. Dividing perennials (esp. tubors) reinvigorates plants and gives you new plants to add to other areas of your garden or to share with neighbors and friends.

What is the deal with the South Carolina flag?

This flag is displayed everywhere both as a flag and as an adornment. I mean, it's a nice place with a rich BBQ history and all, but car decals bearing license plates from other states? Why when you live in, say, Alabama do you fly your South Carolina flag outside your house? What do these SC-o-philes want to convey? Do they wish they were back there? Is it a harkening to something? A secret fraternity?
I went so far as to research the flag hoping to gain insight. Found out the crescent moon isn't a moon after all; it's a symbol taken from the Revolutionary War uniform signifying military prowess. And people accuse Southerners about still fighting the Civil War - you folks got it all over the rest of us! The Palmetto Tree is the state tree and it got that designation from Revolutionary War times due to its strength (a fort wall made of this tree's trunks withstood bombardment from a naval attack). So, now that I'm informed about the history of all this, WHY do people put this flag all over the place? Enlighten me, PLEASE!!!! I want to get in on the fun. It's a great place with totally fun people. When it's humid (read: 99% of the time), you can smell the sweet tinge of bourbon in the air. It's my kind of atmosphere, you know!

Obviously, I don't get it, so if someone out there would please explain this phenomenon to me, I'd feel so, so much better.

Sir Charles and The Main Dish

Photo from last night's UAB Minority Health Foundation Fundraiser. Sir Charles is quite a gentleman. He thanked the service staff and stood patiently so everyone could have their photo taken with him or get an autograph.

His buddy, Shaq, Shaq's mama, and Mrs. Barkley were in attendance. Shaq was a guest of honor. Don't you just love these good boys who take their mamas as their dates? It's pay-off few mamas get for attending every single game -- it's important, Poodle, even if your child isn't future NBA material. And, you can see that it will be a long (ha!) shot for my boys to get in the NBA with such a shrimpy mom (I was wearing 3-1/2" heels and obviously subconsciously stretching my neck upwards, how funny is that?). Baseball, football, and soccer haven't been ruled out, yet.

Flirt Alert

Oooh! One of my favorite topics! Many divas are the cat's meow at flirting and I'm thrilled one of my friends emailed me (again, please post to the blog; numbers, people, numbers!) and asked for a quick lesson. I don't know if that is possible, since it is an art form that needs cultivation and will evolve. Yet, I'll give it a stab just for sport (insert eyelash flutter here, Kitten).

1. Run and get a copy of What Southern Women Know about Flirting by Ronda Rich (I just have to meet her one of these days). This is a primer in flirting. No! It's the Bible of Flirting, frankly. Every time I waft Channel Chance, I give Ronda a little karmic wink. I love her book because she is absolutely right when she suggests that you can flirt with ANYBODY and most of the time (unless the person is dead or a grouch or a female police officer), you're going to get what you're asking for. Really. Promise. http://www.whatsouthernwomenknow.com/ You have to love her; she's a former female sportswriter who now has her own column and she's soooooo cute (sorry, I temporarily channeled a sorority girl. Poof.)

2. Smile all the time. Relax. Look approachable. Look like you're a fun, fun creature - 'cause you know you are, Poodle!

3. Make eye contact. Don't stare; that'd be rude. Look out of the corner of your eye. Tilt head. Blink lightly 6 times rapidly. Giggle. Look straight on. Widen eyes slightly. Smile. (It's a formula.) Apply and repeat. Results guaranteed.

4. Talk. You simply must talk about something, chitty-chatty-like ... unless you have the brain function of Lauren Caitlin Upton (Miss Teen South Carolina- my Temporary Obsession #3, see Edge of Coolness post), then keep your beautifully glossed yapper shut and look pretty and people will talk to you automatically and you can get what you want just by looking really pretty such as.

5. Give the flirtee your FULL ATTENTION. Laugh at their jokes. Nod your head. Smile. See item #3 for a refresher on the formula.

6. Remember flirting is fun. You're not getting a marriage proposal out of this; it's just fun.

7. Wear cute clothes that make you feel good. Not cutsie clothes, puh-leeze. You are a diva, after all. You have self respect. High heels help (adore alliteration?!). If you're a dude needing guidance, I refer you to the fall fashion post.

8. Diva Martha's Life Lesson Flirt Tip: Always, always, always wear lipstick to the grocery store. That's where she ran into my dad - in the check out line - appropriately!!!!! They've been married for 20 years. I was there. She smiled and looked adorable. It works. It didn't hurt that my dad had been trying to date her for 6 months. Please keep Item 6 in mind, but this is the big cha-ching that could be a possible outcome.

IMPORTANT REMINDER: Please, please, please don't forget to flirt with your spouse, significant other, or whatever you want to call that special someone in your life who keeps going out with you in public and knows stuff like when you need to do laundry. It's really important.

Fast Track Tricks

September's winding down. Hey, how did that happen??? Fall has started and by default, my Fall Fast Track is speeding up. I don't know about you, but October and November are one big blur. Kids are going to soccer, gymnastics, and music lessons. Adults are getting into the groove of volunteer commitments, church on Wednesday nights (oh, I KNEW there was something I was forgetting!), social life (if you don't have one, now's the time to start it), AND making sure you get homework, practice, and family time all in.

Never a dull moment. How can you make sure you get it all done? And feed the kids something other than fast food? A few tips from The Main Dish:

1. For those evenings you rush from 1 practice to the next, keep a small cooler in your car. Keep:
~ Snacks, juice, water
~ Suckers for bribes (this is how I keep the kid-distraction level to a minimum ... sometimes)
~ Handi-wipes, diaper wipes, or fill the glove box with paper towels (not necessarily the best use of space, but you get my drift)

2. Stock the car. Keep extra equipment, clothes, or whatever stuff you need that can help out if someone forgets an essential. Keep it in a tub, basket, or box (I've got to put a box in my SUV, I'm SICK of hearing the soccer ball roll around every time I take a curb at 40 mph!).

3. Create a tote bag system – soccer, swimming, book club. When you get done with, say swimming, put the wet towels in the wash and immediately restock the bag. That way, you are ready to run out the door and won’t forget an essential item.

4. Want to accomplish stuff to make your life easier? While waiting for Junior to finish with accordion lessons,
~ Look over your holiday card list
~ Address a few envelopes on your holiday list
~ Pay bills
~ Write thank you notes (gag!)
~ Call a friend or family member that you’ve been meaning to catch up with
~ Look at some of the catalogs that are pouring into your mailbox lately

~ Drink heavily. OK, I was just wondering if you're still paying attention. Don't do that until you get home, Muffin (I don't know why it's skipping that space, I keep trying to fix it and it won't go away. I'm about to call it "flair" and be done with it.)

Off to pick up some child from something. I'll consult my calendar in a minute before pointing the car in a direction as I TRAVEL THE SPEED LIMIT as to avoid further driving school opportunities. Toodles, Poodles!

Driving School Report

I am compelled to start off by admitting that I had the wrong attitude about driving school. Not that I needed to be there for 4 hours, you understand. Not that I did anything to warrant being sent there by the court (unlike most of those freak-shows). If you're over the age of 25, it may behoove you to go to driving school, not just for the insurance discount, but they have changed/altered/updated many of the rules/laws/ways of doing things. Here are the Top Ten Things The Main Dish Learned in Driving School:

• Do NOT set your hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel for another minute, Poodle. When an airbag deploys and your hands are in those positions on the steering wheel, you break your left hand as it is smashed into the driver's window and you knock out your passenger as your right hand slams into their face - both at an incredible rate of speed.
• In cases of road rage, men are more likely to use their fists as a weapon; women use their cars as a weapon. If you're in a situation where you are the unsuspecting target of road rage, do not go home and do not go to work (or a place that's your usual destination) because nut-jobs can hold their road rage and show up hours and days later to release their anger. Yikes! Anyway, do not make eye contact, talk to, or use gestures at someone who has road rage. Take their tag number and call police.
• In 2005, there were 6,159,000 reported crashes nationwide. Of those, there were 43,443 fatalities. This was the only question I missed on the test - I rounded down to 43,000 and the test giver insisted that he wanted the answer rounded up to 44,000 (multiple choice question, both were choices - didn't argue with him more because Anger Management School isn't my style). Pissed me right on off, so I hopped in my car and used it as a weapon. Just kidding!
• Booster seats are required by laws in most places until a child is age 6, BUT my 6 year old, for example is too short to do without a booster seat. The way you determine if your kid can go without a booster is to fasten the seatbelt and check if the shoulder harness fits flat and snugly on the child's shoulder (some cars have adjustable shoulder straps). If it's touching the neck, it very easily can break a child's neck in the case of a crash. Child restraint decreases the chance of injury or death in a car crash by more than 71%.
• If you're about to be rear-ended at a stop light, do not look back (it can break your neck). Release your brake to let the car roll forward - it lessens the impact on all cars.
• The difference between going 55 miles per hour and 70 miles per hour on the interstate only saves you 4 minutes and 40 seconds on the average trip (which is 20 miles). Hmmm... Can that possibly be correct? (I'm pretty suspicious of the math skills of the instructor)
• Do not use cruise control during the rain due to increased probability of hydroplaning
• The white X-shape of Railroad crossing signs are called "Cross Bucks". Had no idea.
• You should signal at least 100 feet before turning (now, if I could only calculate that as I drive)
• Drivers between the ages of 16 and 20 years old make up the smallest number of drivers, but account for nearly 20% of traffic fatalities. Two-thirds of those are male.

The Main Squeeze was horrified to learn that drivers over the age of 54 are considered "older drivers" and have decreased reflexes and senses. I couldn't WAIT to get outta' there and tell him that.

Closing comment: Don't get pulled over. Even if you believe with all your heart you can get out of a ticket or fine, I'm just telling you, there's no way in hell you're getting out of being sent to Driving School - it's the big trend in traffic court these days. Trust me, everybody goes, despite acrylic nails and high heels and wearing what my attorney described as "a flattering outfit". Drive safely, Sweetie-pie! And don't drink and drive - it'd be a shame to spill your drink. Merlot stains the upholstery something terrible, Muffin.

Whetting the appetite

Just so you'll know, I'm going to driving school in the morning. Will post follow up.

Raise a glass

In keeping with the Adult Beverage theme set by Attorney Diva yesterday, AND in showcasing my timely topic ability, we are going to celebrate National Rum Punch Day in style! I know! Try to keep the outbursts and squeals to a minimum so everyone can hear, please Kitten!

As a beautifully aging party girl AND a two-time visitor to the Bacardi Factory, I consider myself at the very least "well-informed" on this subject, especially after the last trip when I made pals with employee in Guest Relations, Jesus (not THE J.C.; it's pronounced "hey-Zeus", like the pagan god). Anyway, after learning about his extended stay in the Boston area and plans to return to Washington, DC, he imparted amazing morsels of info about what to put in rum drinks.

First of all, you gotta' know your rums. He said that there's Bacardi and then there's every other rum. Start with a good quality rum. Light rums are generally combined with fruity drinks. Divas dig fruity drinks such as ....

Marjorie's Rum Punch
Splash of lemon juice
2C light rum
2 Liters ginger ale
1 qt. fruit juice
1 qt. pineapple juice

Instructions?? Well, mix it together and serve over ice, silly! Garnish with seasonal fruit - because you know rum drinks were perfected in the tropical areas. I'll drink to that any day of the week!

The other Bacardi-Jesus tip that I have incorporated immediately in entertaining was to purchase the frozen Bacardi Mojito mix (grocer's freezer) and follow the instructions EXCEPT substitute Sprite for the club soda ingredient. I also use mint from my garden. Rave reviews are promised. If not, let me come over and help you get rid of your mojito left-overs, m'K?!

Referals

After a long day of driving around countryside to a great meeting and a successful visit to the salon (this time was back to my regular guy; I can't take any more peroxide "fixes"), I'd really love to post something divine, but nothing is really springing to mind that's any better than what my sister, the Attorney Diva posted today on her group blog, Iamyourmom.com (link below and to the left). It's about wine. I'm about wine. What a coincidence! I highly recommend you read it for your Main Dish fix, with my sincere and profuse promises to cook up something really tasty for you within the next day or so.

After a toddy or a Cote de Rhones (see IAYM blog), all will be restored to normal in no time, Poodle. Thanks for your patience and compassion for The Main Dish. Kisses!

Men's Fall Fashion Tips 2007

After emcee-ing the Kid One Transport Handsome Heroes Firemen Fashion Show Saturday at Watermark Place, I was asked to post the fashion notes I interspersed among the cat calls. It also ties into my Saturday activities of a week ago- the Belk's private party for the Jr. League. We saw all kinds of fashion and could have purchased all the ladies' clothes we wanted; sadly for the Main Squeeze, all the folks working the Men's Department were glued to the Auburn game and they weren't able to sell us all the items that he wanted to buy (I give them until after Christmas sales season before customers catch on to their service not being close to Parisian's, but I digress).

Fall fabrics are rich and the colors inspired by nature (probably the colors found in non-drought-effected areas) . The neutral colors make it easy to mix and match. Layering, though, is the most important look to achieve this fall.

How to get The Look
It's easy for the divas to look fantastic - just go for minx, Dahling. For men, the look this year is to communicate sensuality with fabric choices (think soft-to-the-touch) and shape (though, not tight sweater, Tiger!).

The style is no longer "rolled out of bed without a shower", thank God! Go for trim pants (pleats not so much). Suits are cool again. Get this memo, well dressed stud: Shirts are tucked IN and belts are back! Won't your mama be so happy?!?!?! Achieve that gentleman look with fine fabrics, a smart cut, and attention to detail. And consult mama, of course!

Necklines are dipping and expanding for men. Interesting, n'est pas, Poodle?! Scoops and V-necks show the tie more or feature that great print or striped shirt underneath. Don't worry, turtlenecks still are a propos under these plunging layering pieces.

The Color Purple
Eggplant, lavendar, grape ... whatever the Diva in your life calls it, GET IT. This is The Shade this season. You don't have to have the most Pungeant Purple to make the statement and be considered "with it". Purple not your thing, Pumpkin? Other colors to try this fall and winter are neutrals from earth tones to rich blues.

Pinstriped Pants are a wardrobe item to add. Goes back to the Gentlemanly thing. Size of stripe or color are your choice. You can pair it with an argyle sweater (yep, dust off that Preppy Handbook from the '80s!)

Striped shirts. Just get one or three. It's another rage. Wear with jeans or a suit OR under a sweater (if it ever cools off!).

Jeans & Casual. Don't you just hate it when you get the right jean and find out it's out of style? Ugh! They can get really expensive! The great news is the color of your jeans doesn't matter. Stone washed to dark jeans are all great! Yea! If you can find some that enhance your features, then you've totally scored! Pair your jeans with a blazer/sports jacket - another must-have item. Again, consult your Preppy Handbook because the patch on the elbows is making a come-back (I know! It's now called "retro", can you believe it???) Moleskin or corduroy jackets are on the list, too! Two or three buttons, please. Also, unless you're more over-the-top than I am, you probably shouldn't choose the jacket for your new purple piece - stick with neutrals.

So, there you have it, straight from The Main Dish - your fall fashion tips straight from the fashion runways!