Flirt Alert

Oooh! One of my favorite topics! Many divas are the cat's meow at flirting and I'm thrilled one of my friends emailed me (again, please post to the blog; numbers, people, numbers!) and asked for a quick lesson. I don't know if that is possible, since it is an art form that needs cultivation and will evolve. Yet, I'll give it a stab just for sport (insert eyelash flutter here, Kitten).

1. Run and get a copy of What Southern Women Know about Flirting by Ronda Rich (I just have to meet her one of these days). This is a primer in flirting. No! It's the Bible of Flirting, frankly. Every time I waft Channel Chance, I give Ronda a little karmic wink. I love her book because she is absolutely right when she suggests that you can flirt with ANYBODY and most of the time (unless the person is dead or a grouch or a female police officer), you're going to get what you're asking for. Really. Promise. http://www.whatsouthernwomenknow.com/ You have to love her; she's a former female sportswriter who now has her own column and she's soooooo cute (sorry, I temporarily channeled a sorority girl. Poof.)

2. Smile all the time. Relax. Look approachable. Look like you're a fun, fun creature - 'cause you know you are, Poodle!

3. Make eye contact. Don't stare; that'd be rude. Look out of the corner of your eye. Tilt head. Blink lightly 6 times rapidly. Giggle. Look straight on. Widen eyes slightly. Smile. (It's a formula.) Apply and repeat. Results guaranteed.

4. Talk. You simply must talk about something, chitty-chatty-like ... unless you have the brain function of Lauren Caitlin Upton (Miss Teen South Carolina- my Temporary Obsession #3, see Edge of Coolness post), then keep your beautifully glossed yapper shut and look pretty and people will talk to you automatically and you can get what you want just by looking really pretty such as.

5. Give the flirtee your FULL ATTENTION. Laugh at their jokes. Nod your head. Smile. See item #3 for a refresher on the formula.

6. Remember flirting is fun. You're not getting a marriage proposal out of this; it's just fun.

7. Wear cute clothes that make you feel good. Not cutsie clothes, puh-leeze. You are a diva, after all. You have self respect. High heels help (adore alliteration?!). If you're a dude needing guidance, I refer you to the fall fashion post.

8. Diva Martha's Life Lesson Flirt Tip: Always, always, always wear lipstick to the grocery store. That's where she ran into my dad - in the check out line - appropriately!!!!! They've been married for 20 years. I was there. She smiled and looked adorable. It works. It didn't hurt that my dad had been trying to date her for 6 months. Please keep Item 6 in mind, but this is the big cha-ching that could be a possible outcome.

IMPORTANT REMINDER: Please, please, please don't forget to flirt with your spouse, significant other, or whatever you want to call that special someone in your life who keeps going out with you in public and knows stuff like when you need to do laundry. It's really important.