Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sir Charles and The Main Dish


Photo from last night's UAB Minority Health Foundation Fundraiser. Sir Charles is quite a gentleman. He thanked the service staff and stood patiently so everyone could have their photo taken with him or get an autograph.
His buddy, Shaq, Shaq's mama, and Mrs. Barkley were in attendance. Shaq was a guest of honor. Don't you just love these good boys who take their mamas as their dates? It's pay-off few mamas get for attending every single game -- it's important, Poodle, even if your child isn't future NBA material. And, you can see that it will be a long (ha!) shot for my boys to get in the NBA with such a shrimpy mom (I was wearing 3-1/2" heels and obviously subconsciously stretching my neck upwards, how funny is that?). Baseball, football, and soccer haven't been ruled out, yet.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Flirt Alert

Oooh! One of my favorite topics! Many divas are the cat's meow at flirting and I'm thrilled one of my friends emailed me (again, please post to the blog; numbers, people, numbers!) and asked for a quick lesson. I don't know if that is possible, since it is an art form that needs cultivation and will evolve. Yet, I'll give it a stab just for sport (insert eyelash flutter here, Kitten).

1. Run and get a copy of What Southern Women Know about Flirting by Ronda Rich (I just have to meet her one of these days). This is a primer in flirting. No! It's the Bible of Flirting, frankly. Every time I waft Channel Chance, I give Ronda a little karmic wink. I love her book because she is absolutely right when she suggests that you can flirt with ANYBODY and most of the time (unless the person is dead or a grouch or a female police officer), you're going to get what you're asking for. Really. Promise. http://www.whatsouthernwomenknow.com/ You have to love her; she's a former female sportswriter who now has her own column and she's soooooo cute (sorry, I temporarily channeled a sorority girl. Poof.)

2. Smile all the time. Relax. Look approachable. Look like you're a fun, fun creature - 'cause you know you are, Poodle!

3. Make eye contact. Don't stare; that'd be rude. Look out of the corner of your eye. Tilt head. Blink lightly 6 times rapidly. Giggle. Look straight on. Widen eyes slightly. Smile. (It's a formula.) Apply and repeat. Results guaranteed.

4. Talk. You simply must talk about something, chitty-chatty-like ... unless you have the brain function of Lauren Caitlin Upton (Miss Teen South Carolina- my Temporary Obsession #3, see Edge of Coolness post), then keep your beautifully glossed yapper shut and look pretty and people will talk to you automatically and you can get what you want just by looking really pretty such as.

5. Give the flirtee your FULL ATTENTION. Laugh at their jokes. Nod your head. Smile. See item #3 for a refresher on the formula.

6. Remember flirting is fun. You're not getting a marriage proposal out of this; it's just fun.

7. Wear cute clothes that make you feel good. Not cutsie clothes, puh-leeze. You are a diva, after all. You have self respect. High heels help (adore alliteration?!). If you're a dude needing guidance, I refer you to the fall fashion post.

8. Diva Martha's Life Lesson Flirt Tip: Always, always, always wear lipstick to the grocery store. That's where she ran into my dad - in the check out line - appropriately!!!!! They've been married for 20 years. I was there. She smiled and looked adorable. It works. It didn't hurt that my dad had been trying to date her for 6 months. Please keep Item 6 in mind, but this is the big cha-ching that could be a possible outcome.

IMPORTANT REMINDER: Please, please, please don't forget to flirt with your spouse, significant other, or whatever you want to call that special someone in your life who keeps going out with you in public and knows stuff like when you need to do laundry. It's really important.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Fast Track Tricks

September's winding down. Hey, how did that happen??? Fall has started and by default, my Fall Fast Track is speeding up. I don't know about you, but October and November are one big blur. Kids are going to soccer, gymnastics, and music lessons. Adults are getting into the groove of volunteer commitments, church on Wednesday nights (oh, I KNEW there was something I was forgetting!), social life (if you don't have one, now's the time to start it), AND making sure you get homework, practice, and family time all in.

Never a dull moment. How can you make sure you get it all done? And feed the kids something other than fast food? A few tips from The Main Dish:

1. For those evenings you rush from 1 practice to the next, keep a small cooler in your car. Keep:
~ Snacks, juice, water
~ Suckers for bribes (this is how I keep the kid-distraction level to a minimum ... sometimes)
~ Handi-wipes, diaper wipes, or fill the glove box with paper towels (not necessarily the best use of space, but you get my drift)

2. Stock the car. Keep extra equipment, clothes, or whatever stuff you need that can help out if someone forgets an essential. Keep it in a tub, basket, or box (I've got to put a box in my SUV, I'm SICK of hearing the soccer ball roll around every time I take a curb at 40 mph!).

3. Create a tote bag system – soccer, swimming, book club. When you get done with, say swimming, put the wet towels in the wash and immediately restock the bag. That way, you are ready to run out the door and won’t forget an essential item.

4. Want to accomplish stuff to make your life easier? While waiting for Junior to finish with accordion lessons,
~ Look over your holiday card list
~ Address a few envelopes on your holiday list
~ Pay bills
~ Write thank you notes (gag!)
~ Call a friend or family member that you’ve been meaning to catch up with
~ Look at some of the catalogs that are pouring into your mailbox lately

~ Drink heavily. OK, I was just wondering if you're still paying attention. Don't do that until you get home, Muffin (I don't know why it's skipping that space, I keep trying to fix it and it won't go away. I'm about to call it "flair" and be done with it.)

Off to pick up some child from something. I'll consult my calendar in a minute before pointing the car in a direction as I TRAVEL THE SPEED LIMIT as to avoid further driving school opportunities. Toodles, Poodles!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Driving School Report

I am compelled to start off by admitting that I had the wrong attitude about driving school. Not that I needed to be there for 4 hours, you understand. Not that I did anything to warrant being sent there by the court (unlike most of those freak-shows). If you're over the age of 25, it may behoove you to go to driving school, not just for the insurance discount, but they have changed/altered/updated many of the rules/laws/ways of doing things. Here are the Top Ten Things The Main Dish Learned in Driving School:

  • Do NOT set your hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel for another minute, Poodle. When an airbag deploys and your hands are in those positions on the steering wheel, you break your left hand as it is smashed into the driver's window and you knock out your passenger as your right hand slams into their face - both at an incredible rate of speed.
  • In cases of road rage, men are more likely to use their fists as a weapon; women use their cars as a weapon. If you're in a situation where you are the unsuspecting target of road rage, do not go home and do not go to work (or a place that's your usual destination) because nut-jobs can hold their road rage and show up hours and days later to release their anger. Yikes! Anyway, do not make eye contact, talk to, or use gestures at someone who has road rage. Take their tag number and call police.
  • In 2005, there were 6,159,000 reported crashes nationwide. Of those, there were 43,443 fatalities. This was the only question I missed on the test - I rounded down to 43,000 and the test giver insisted that he wanted the answer rounded up to 44,000 (multiple choice question, both were choices - didn't argue with him more because Anger Management School isn't my style). Pissed me right on off, so I hopped in my car and used it as a weapon. Just kidding!
  • Booster seats are required by laws in most places until a child is age 6, BUT my 6 year old, for example is too short to do without a booster seat. The way you determine if your kid can go without a booster is to fasten the seatbelt and check if the shoulder harness fits flat and snugly on the child's shoulder (some cars have adjustable shoulder straps). If it's touching the neck, it very easily can break a child's neck in the case of a crash. Child restraint decreases the chance of injury or death in a car crash by more than 71%.
  • If you're about to be rear-ended at a stop light, do not look back (it can break your neck). Release your brake to let the car roll forward - it lessens the impact on all cars.
  • The difference between going 55 miles per hour and 70 miles per hour on the interstate only saves you 4 minutes and 40 seconds on the average trip (which is 20 miles). Hmmm... Can that possibly be correct? (I'm pretty suspicious of the math skills of the instructor)
  • Do not use cruise control during the rain due to increased probability of hydroplaning
  • The white X-shape of Railroad crossing signs are called "Cross Bucks". Had no idea.
  • You should signal at least 100 feet before turning (now, if I could only calculate that as I drive)
  • Drivers between the ages of 16 and 20 years old make up the smallest number of drivers, but account for nearly 20% of traffic fatalities. Two-thirds of those are male.

The Main Squeeze was horrified to learn that drivers over the age of 54 are considered "older drivers" and have decreased reflexes and senses. I couldn't WAIT to get outta' there and tell him that.

Closing comment: Don't get pulled over. Even if you believe with all your heart you can get out of a ticket or fine, I'm just telling you, there's no way in hell you're getting out of being sent to Driving School - it's the big trend in traffic court these days. Trust me, everybody goes, despite acrylic nails and high heels and wearing what my attorney described as "a flattering outfit". Drive safely, Sweetie-pie! And don't drink and drive - it'd be a shame to spill your drink. Merlot stains the upholstery something terrible, Muffin.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Whetting the appetite

Just so you'll know, I'm going to driving school in the morning. Will post follow up.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Raise a glass

In keeping with the Adult Beverage theme set by Attorney Diva yesterday, AND in showcasing my timely topic ability, we are going to celebrate National Rum Punch Day in style! I know! Try to keep the outbursts and squeals to a minimum so everyone can hear, please Kitten!

As a beautifully aging party girl AND a two-time visitor to the Bacardi Factory, I consider myself at the very least "well-informed" on this subject, especially after the last trip when I made pals with employee in Guest Relations, Jesus (not THE J.C.; it's pronounced "hey-Zeus", like the pagan god). Anyway, after learning about his extended stay in the Boston area and plans to return to Washington, DC, he imparted amazing morsels of info about what to put in rum drinks.

First of all, you gotta' know your rums. He said that there's Bacardi and then there's every other rum. Start with a good quality rum. Light rums are generally combined with fruity drinks. Divas dig fruity drinks such as ....

Marjorie's Rum Punch
Splash of lemon juice
2C light rum
2 Liters ginger ale
1 qt. fruit juice
1 qt. pineapple juice

Instructions?? Well, mix it together and serve over ice, silly! Garnish with seasonal fruit - because you know rum drinks were perfected in the tropical areas. I'll drink to that any day of the week!

The other Bacardi-Jesus tip that I have incorporated immediately in entertaining was to purchase the frozen Bacardi Mojito mix (grocer's freezer) and follow the instructions EXCEPT substitute Sprite for the club soda ingredient. I also use mint from my garden. Rave reviews are promised. If not, let me come over and help you get rid of your mojito left-overs, m'K?!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Referals

After a long day of driving around countryside to a great meeting and a successful visit to the salon (this time was back to my regular guy; I can't take any more peroxide "fixes"), I'd really love to post something divine, but nothing is really springing to mind that's any better than what my sister, the Attorney Diva posted today on her group blog, Iamyourmom.com (link below and to the left). It's about wine. I'm about wine. What a coincidence! I highly recommend you read it for your Main Dish fix, with my sincere and profuse promises to cook up something really tasty for you within the next day or so.

After a toddy or a Cote de Rhones (see IAYM blog), all will be restored to normal in no time, Poodle. Thanks for your patience and compassion for The Main Dish. Kisses!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Men's Fall Fashion Tips 2007

After emcee-ing the Kid One Transport Handsome Heroes Firemen Fashion Show Saturday at Watermark Place, I was asked to post the fashion notes I interspersed among the cat calls. It also ties into my Saturday activities of a week ago- the Belk's private party for the Jr. League. We saw all kinds of fashion and could have purchased all the ladies' clothes we wanted; sadly for the Main Squeeze, all the folks working the Men's Department were glued to the Auburn game and they weren't able to sell us all the items that he wanted to buy (I give them until after Christmas sales season before customers catch on to their service not being close to Parisian's, but I digress).

Fall fabrics are rich and the colors inspired by nature (probably the colors found in non-drought-effected areas) . The neutral colors make it easy to mix and match. Layering, though, is the most important look to achieve this fall.

How to get The Look
It's easy for the divas to look fantastic - just go for minx, Dahling. For men, the look this year is to communicate sensuality with fabric choices (think soft-to-the-touch) and shape (though, not tight sweater, Tiger!).

The style is no longer "rolled out of bed without a shower", thank God! Go for trim pants (pleats not so much). Suits are cool again. Get this memo, well dressed stud: Shirts are tucked IN and belts are back! Won't your mama be so happy?!?!?! Achieve that gentleman look with fine fabrics, a smart cut, and attention to detail. And consult mama, of course!

Necklines are dipping and expanding for men. Interesting, n'est pas, Poodle?! Scoops and V-necks show the tie more or feature that great print or striped shirt underneath. Don't worry, turtlenecks still are a propos under these plunging layering pieces.

The Color Purple
Eggplant, lavendar, grape ... whatever the Diva in your life calls it, GET IT. This is The Shade this season. You don't have to have the most Pungeant Purple to make the statement and be considered "with it". Purple not your thing, Pumpkin? Other colors to try this fall and winter are neutrals from earth tones to rich blues.

Pinstriped Pants are a wardrobe item to add. Goes back to the Gentlemanly thing. Size of stripe or color are your choice. You can pair it with an argyle sweater (yep, dust off that Preppy Handbook from the '80s!)

Striped shirts. Just get one or three. It's another rage. Wear with jeans or a suit OR under a sweater (if it ever cools off!).

Jeans & Casual. Don't you just hate it when you get the right jean and find out it's out of style? Ugh! They can get really expensive! The great news is the color of your jeans doesn't matter. Stone washed to dark jeans are all great! Yea! If you can find some that enhance your features, then you've totally scored! Pair your jeans with a blazer/sports jacket - another must-have item. Again, consult your Preppy Handbook because the patch on the elbows is making a come-back (I know! It's now called "retro", can you believe it???) Moleskin or corduroy jackets are on the list, too! Two or three buttons, please. Also, unless you're more over-the-top than I am, you probably shouldn't choose the jacket for your new purple piece - stick with neutrals.

So, there you have it, straight from The Main Dish - your fall fashion tips straight from the fashion runways!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Tidying Up around the Blog

Greetings Blog Divas and Dudes! Thank you for the amazing responses you have shared with this Dish to date about the site. I am honored and thrilled. And I've had only one typo. I couldn't be more pleased!

One teensy-tinsy request: Would you kindly consider, even anonymously, posting your comments on the blog spot as opposed to emailing moi? I have a Diva-esque plan in mind and being able to show numbers is of great assistance in accomplishing my plan. You know, I was trapped in my boudoir for months earlier this spring and that gives a girl plenty of time to hatch her Diva Doins. Posting to this blog site by clicking by the little envelope at the end of each posting will get you to the screen to type away to your little heart's content. The posting will show that people actually read this thing and according to one beloved Diva Dottie, she requested another posting because "I need my fix!" Oh! I just swooned again. Also, please suggest topics. I am reviewing emails I saved that were sent when I was on the Dixon-Willoughby show in December and I'm preparing responses to some great and unusual questions that were sent in the last days that show was on the air here. Anyway, thanks for your posting consideration, Pumpkin! Love you!

Correction: This Saturday, the Kid One Transport Handsome Heroes Firefighters' Fashion Show and subsequent calendar signing event starts at 1:00 (not noon - as posted below) at Watermark Place. THIS JUST IN: It has been verified after my beloved Greek Diva inquired personally -- THE FIREFIGHTERS WILL TAKE OFF THEIR SHIRTS and will also APPEAR IN UNIFORM (or states thereof). Poodle, this is a NOT TO MISS EVENT!!!!! And, they'll have a fire truck on site, thank you, Anonymous Diva. I simply cannot imagine how you could be disappointed if you came to this spectacular event.

Driving Update: I was pulled over in my Toyota, NOT my Mercedes in July. NOT for speeding (which I find completely astounding!), but for "passing on the right". Um ... yeah, I thought that, too! When I asked the officer, who is obviously blind (not only to violations, but also to charm), what that meant, he accused me of traveling on the shoulder prior to a right hand turn lane and told me how dangerous that was due to oncoming traffic. Huh? So I prepared for court in the usual way: getting acrylic nails, having my hair cut and colored (it was a disaster - the stylist cried (I was REALLY NICE about it and was not the reason she cried! 'Cause I knew she wasn't going to let me walk out of there looking like Morticia!) and had to bleach out her mistake -spending a sum total FOUR HOURS in the beauty salon just for the hair), and hiring an attorney. The attorney told me I had to fight this obnoxious intrusion because my insurance company would certainly assume that nobody gets stopped for passing on the right; therefore it would be likely further assumed that I had plead down from a reckless driving charge. Ugh! To add insult to ... well, insult, the particular city that accused me of this driving endangerment accidentally sent me a letter stating that they were issuing a warrant for my arrest and were suspending my license. After the orbit, where I most certainly passed something on the right, I decided that I would at least look fabulous in an orange jumpsuit and would enter the Ms. Inmate competition with plans to sweep it. So, you see, I snapped out of it. Anywho, I did go to the court and my fabulous attorney made a deal with the prosecutor for me to pay a reduced court fee, not do community service (because I've done a TON of work for that city's library for over a year at a MUCH reduced fee), and go to 4 hours of driving school (report to follow, I'm certain). Whew! The Main Squeeze was right: I wound up paying more to get out of the ticket than I did for the ticket, but whatever!

Ooh! Carpool line time! Toodles!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Hose me down!!!!

This and other such phrases that would make my mother cringe will be spilling out of my mouth at whirlwind speed this weekend. I'm scheduled to emcee the Handsome Heroes Fireman Fashion Show at noon on Saturday at Watermark Place.

Shut up. Don’t say it. I know: How did I ever score this amazing gig?!?!?!

FIREMEN plus a Sound System!! FOR ME!!!!! Squeal!!!!!!!! A diva's fantasy finally has come true.

I can’t stop with the “hose me down” / “this girl’s on fire” / "who's gonna' pry me out of this inferno" type comments that spring to mind after being asked to do this! I doubt I’ll snap out of it, so brace yourself.

I haven't had this much fun since 2 fire houses emptied into my boudoir last October (while I am a minx, the 2 houses arrived in various large, red fire vehicles in minutes because my 5 year old was having a fever-related seizure and apparently there wasn't a whole lot of other hot stuff to attend to that evening, but why ruin a good story with the truth?!)

Anyway, Saturday will be the premiere of the 2008 calendar featuring totally hunky and I hear completely off-limits Alabama firefighters. The proceeds from calendar sales benefit Kid One Transport (www.kidone.org), one of my fave organizations. The firemen, after a hard day's work of modeling fabulous fashions, will be on hand to autograph your calendar. You simply can't miss this, Poodle! And, as inappropriately as possible, I've asked if they're planning to have a fire engine on scene - you know, for my kids to enjoy. (Pumpkin, this is a G-rated blog!!!!!) Off to figure out what to wear ....

Friday, September 7, 2007

Shout Out

I'm a customer service fanatic. I also like expensive baubles and love to feel like I'm getting a great deal when I purchase one. It makes me feel smart. Most of the time the customer service + getting a deal on a bauble combo leads to utter disappointment. Heck, leave out the bauble part and just aim for "sub par customer service" and a diva is still hopping mad and/or devastated due to overwhelming disappointment even with low expectations to begin with.

NOT TODAY, SPORTSFANS!

My Mercedes, which I look beyond fabulous in (and let's face it, ANYONE would) has been cranky ... to the point that it stopped showing how fast I was going, how much gas I had in the tank, you know, basic necessary information (especially important to a Diva who's been ordered by the court to driving school for a totally bogus ticket - I just CANNOT get stopped for ANYTHING until September 22nd at 1:30 p.m. I'll have to tell you what a great deal I had, though on court costs, etc. another time.).

The Main Squeeze and I went to drop his car off for an oil change and take mine to have a professional take a quick peek at it. Serendipity happened. My car drove magically to Comer Automobile (http://www.comerautomobile.com/) and we met the delightful staff and owner there. They were SO NICE! They sent us down the street and around the corner to the service shop where Jeff and his fabulous mechanic diva (yes, female) were expecting us. Boil it down to say that the EVIL DEALERSHIP in town told me over the phone last week that this was going to cost me a bucket of wonga at which point, I lost consciousness. ED was supposed to call me Tuesday and nary a peep has been heard yet. Back at Comer Automobile service shop, in person, Jeff called around in person after diagnosing the problem in person and found a part for about $1,300 LESS than the Evil Dealership quoted over the phone. As the Domestic Diva, I must tell you, I would consider eating off the Comer Automobile Service Department floors - and this has NOTHING to do with the difference in prices. It's just that clean.

Take your Mercedes here, Pumpkin. Don't stop. Don't spend $2,000. Phone 323-3300; They're on 3rd avenue south. And no, they're not giving me a discount for doing this. I'm so bowled over that I just had to scurry to the computer and let the Diva/Dude world know about this amazing phenomenon. Good customer service, fair prices, and Mercedes ownership can coexist. I'm so excited.

UPDATE: If you by chance have a wad of Tire Professionals (formerly Tire Engineers on 32nd Street South) gift certificates that you won at any of several nonprofit fundraisers lately, present them before you walk in the door - better yet, just throw them away 'cause they apparently have no intention of accepting them. My darling Main Squeeze went there for an oil change and presented several $20 coupons printed by those folks and they refused them because he didn't present them when he dropped off his car. We looked at the coupons and nowhere on them does it state the order/ manner in which they will be redeemable. He asked for the manager and when one was procured by telephone, they still refused. We should have aimed lower in our oil change expectations. Mental Note, Poodle!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Amy Winehouse Crack

Continuing with the today's apparent theme of Topics Qualifying for Southern Gothic Novel Story Lines Yet To Be Written, I submit the following link concerning Amy Winehouse, one of my Mental Bubble Gum obsessions (ref. Edge of Coolness post) who routinely makes me feel amazed by my capacity as a Responsible Competent Adult (my absolute fave term found in numerous kiddie toy assembly instructions).

UK fallen stars 2:35

The jaw-dropping moments of this CNN report for This Dish include Amy's father's soundbite and the reporter relaying that Amy's in-laws are pleading with people to stop buying her records, which, by my Mental Giant calculations, are enabling her drug habit. Oops! Did I spoil the best part for you????

Murmur, Murmur

Sources very close to me reveal that there will be another Beth Holloway Twitty (a.k.a Natalee's mom) John Ramsey (a.k.a. Jon Benet Ramsey's dad) sighting this weekend at a gala in Birmingham. They have been seen together at Art on the Rocks (a popular soiree at the Birmingham Museum of Art) and around The Tiny Kingdom in multiple locations in close proximity to each other's personal space. (Catch up, Sunshine! Fox news, The Denver Post and other sources have been reporting this since June.)

An arrow from Tabloid Cupid's quiver? Unlikely. Try this: they are both Southerners who lived through a Southern Gothic type situation who handled themselves with grace, were articulate (unlike my Personal Temporary Obsession #3, Miss South Carolina, also, a Southerner, I believe - let me go check my The Map such as), and anyone whose heart isn't made of steel cried about both of their daughters.

You know, finding someone decent to date is hard enough, but I can only imagine the "well, you just don't understand" kind of moment that's inevitable when the dreaded, awkward moment when the "unusual circumstances around the deceased's/s' situation" comes up OR when reporters continually call the house. Not many available guys I've met in the Dating Realm are remotely capable of "going there".

Perhaps someone will be attending this posh gala and can report back? Surprised it won't be me? Sorry to disappoint, Poodle. I've already made a commitment to go to the Belk Invitational Preview Party at the same time (Semiformal attire). It's the first time as a JLB member I've been invited to a party that I didn't have to drop a load of wonga in order to attend. The interesting social butterfly question that hits me is what does one wear to a semiformal party hosted by a department store? I'm intrigued.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Clobbering Clutter

School's been in for what, 3 weeks now? Are the papers driving you crazy yet? Is your New And Improved School Organization System at the brink of failure? OR are you saying to yourself, now that we're in the swing of the school year, I guess it's time for me to get around to all that organizational stuff I kept putting off until school starts. Welcome to it, my little minx!

How can we Clobber Clutter? I have a few overall tips. But of course, dahling!

Aim Low
Realize that your goal should not be “Get Totally Organized”. Impossible. Overwhelming. Never gonna’ happen. Sorta’ like me saying, “Hey, I should drop 15 lbs., so I’m going off to climb Mt. Everest.” Not a chance of that ever coming to fruition. Completely wrong scale, here.

Pick your Poison
No one I know rubs his or her hands gleefully and says, “I can’t wait to get organized”. It’s more of a defeat-est thing. Like, “I can’t take it another minute. I can’t get anything done. Guess I should break down and do something about this clutter problem.” Whatever the impetus, break the problem down into small, do-able goals:
  • Tackle the paper on every flat surface in the house
  • Pick a room to organize
  • Choose to start with your desk/ kitchen cabinets/ kids toys

Assign a Happy Home for the wayward items

  • Get a wire basket for the mail and put it on the counter where you “land” when you come in the door
  • Get a hook for each person in the family. Each person has a hook to hang their raincoat / jacket /backpack – preferably in a closet
  • Tools belong in a toolbox. Tool boxes belong in places like a garage or basement or work room.
  • Library books. Hang a tote bag on a door knob and keep the library books in it.
  • CDs. Keep a small CD box (I have one with a lid that closes) near the CD player and put the ones you play the most in that.
  • Toys. Well, that’s a stand-alone category. You may want to decide where toy zones are and organize from there. That is, unless you have particularly neat kids, and then, I probably can’t relate to you at all.

Well, there's more wisdom I can impart, but it's a holiday still and I have a little more cocktailing to do, so if you'll excuse me, I'll hit this weighty issue tomorrow, Scarlet!

Cheers!