Just when you think you’re rocking and rolling, life throws you a little curve. No biggie. Adjust / dodge it, right? Maybe you THINK you’re dodging it and then more curves come at you and once you look up after doing all that adjusting, you realize, you’re going to have basically quit your job just to rearrange stuff from the fall-out.
Case Study: ME
So, you all know that I think my former hairdresser has some substance problem as was evidenced by him falling asleep standing up during my prior two haircut appointments, ending in shall we say “stylistic disasters” (reference previous postings). My haircuts for the last year haven’t been up to par. The color has been getting progressively more extreme (ask my mother, she’ll go on and on). So, I’ve replaced him. But it’s now a “process” because the color had to be CPR’d and the cut had to be worked on. Work in progress. So, a diva believes though it’s under construction, it’s also underway and on track.
Enter Curve #2. I sing. I have gook in my throat all the time. Have for years. Apparently, this isn’t normal. I have acid reflux as a result of a near deadly case of colitis last year. Reflux burns your throat and depletes the vocal quality of the voice (makes you hoarse even if you are just talking) by inflaming everything in its path vaulting stomach acid up through what feels like the top of your skull. So, I went to the doctor in January. I have asthma thanks to the reflux. I spend hundreds of dollars on meds. Some don’t even work and I have to purchase replacements. It stinks, but that’s life. I had the opportunity to check a cool item of THE LIST (see prior posting) and sing from the rooftop. I had to sound and look decent while doing so, of course. Found new stylist and got a great cut. Found an outfit. It’s looking up. And sounding better, too.
ENTER FUNGUS in the mouth due to the meds to control the asthma. Called doc, spent hundreds more on meds, sang from rooftop with hunky, earth-friendly side-kick. It was great. A few days later, Fungus spreads from tongue and just between the tonsils to way down the throat, into the ears, and up the nose. Now I don’t know about you, but even to read that, it just sounds gross. Let me just tell you, IT IS GROSS. And painful – like from time to time, my tongue feels like it could split open at any given moment; the roof of my mouth and my throat feels like it has a shag carpet. And it’s energy-depleting because to live that fungus apparently is sucking the life out of me; I’m a bit sleepy as a result. Did I mention, it’s completely gross? I won’t go into the nose part. I can’t bear to write about it.
Think it can’t get worse? ENTER VIRUS IN THE EYES. Yep, plural. I know. Ick. The up-shot is I had a lovely visit with Dr. Julie Gannon, who I think is so fantastic should you be in the market for an eye doc (Callahan Eye Foundation Hospital, Callahan’s practice). This is unrelated to the fungus, but may be related to the nose spray. I have stopped asking questions at this juncture. I’m not wearing contacts “for a long time” and no eye make up for a little while. Sigh. But a diva must go on.
ENTER FEVER and I COULDN’T MOVE MY HEAD without excruciating pain (due to the fungus). That was yesterday. If any of you saw me at the ballpark at the early t-ball game, now you know why I looked like a Hag. I was more than happy to operate the sound system and scoreboard. Hags like to hide.
Case Study: ME
So, you all know that I think my former hairdresser has some substance problem as was evidenced by him falling asleep standing up during my prior two haircut appointments, ending in shall we say “stylistic disasters” (reference previous postings). My haircuts for the last year haven’t been up to par. The color has been getting progressively more extreme (ask my mother, she’ll go on and on). So, I’ve replaced him. But it’s now a “process” because the color had to be CPR’d and the cut had to be worked on. Work in progress. So, a diva believes though it’s under construction, it’s also underway and on track.
Enter Curve #2. I sing. I have gook in my throat all the time. Have for years. Apparently, this isn’t normal. I have acid reflux as a result of a near deadly case of colitis last year. Reflux burns your throat and depletes the vocal quality of the voice (makes you hoarse even if you are just talking) by inflaming everything in its path vaulting stomach acid up through what feels like the top of your skull. So, I went to the doctor in January. I have asthma thanks to the reflux. I spend hundreds of dollars on meds. Some don’t even work and I have to purchase replacements. It stinks, but that’s life. I had the opportunity to check a cool item of THE LIST (see prior posting) and sing from the rooftop. I had to sound and look decent while doing so, of course. Found new stylist and got a great cut. Found an outfit. It’s looking up. And sounding better, too.
ENTER FUNGUS in the mouth due to the meds to control the asthma. Called doc, spent hundreds more on meds, sang from rooftop with hunky, earth-friendly side-kick. It was great. A few days later, Fungus spreads from tongue and just between the tonsils to way down the throat, into the ears, and up the nose. Now I don’t know about you, but even to read that, it just sounds gross. Let me just tell you, IT IS GROSS. And painful – like from time to time, my tongue feels like it could split open at any given moment; the roof of my mouth and my throat feels like it has a shag carpet. And it’s energy-depleting because to live that fungus apparently is sucking the life out of me; I’m a bit sleepy as a result. Did I mention, it’s completely gross? I won’t go into the nose part. I can’t bear to write about it.
Think it can’t get worse? ENTER VIRUS IN THE EYES. Yep, plural. I know. Ick. The up-shot is I had a lovely visit with Dr. Julie Gannon, who I think is so fantastic should you be in the market for an eye doc (Callahan Eye Foundation Hospital, Callahan’s practice). This is unrelated to the fungus, but may be related to the nose spray. I have stopped asking questions at this juncture. I’m not wearing contacts “for a long time” and no eye make up for a little while. Sigh. But a diva must go on.
ENTER FEVER and I COULDN’T MOVE MY HEAD without excruciating pain (due to the fungus). That was yesterday. If any of you saw me at the ballpark at the early t-ball game, now you know why I looked like a Hag. I was more than happy to operate the sound system and scoreboard. Hags like to hide.
OHMIGOSH I FORGOT this in the original posting. This morning, due to one of the meds making me feel dizzy, I conked my head on the shelf while putting clothes in the washing machine, so now I have a whelp on my forehead. Poodle, the glamour is overwhelming me.
Why am I telling you all of this? To make you feel better about yourself, Cupcake! You couldn’t POSSIBLY look as bad as I do. Hey, your tongue is probably pink. Mine isn’t. But the thing is, Poodle, even with this mess – it’s just funny. It’s annoying, but it isn’t the end of the world. It's just going to take some time to turn this boat around.
So what am I going to do about it?
Well, I’ve given up on working on my head – I’ve got professionals tending to specific areas of that. I went to Jennifer (yep, another one), Whittaker, Massage Therapist (223-0748 or Linda Patterson at the same office) and got pummeled. My neck has loosened up some. I can move it.
Personally, I’m starting with my feet. I gave myself a pedicure with bright pink polish this morning. Tomorrow, I plan to go shoe-shopping after the boys’ ball games. Shoes just make me happy.
The bonus? In shoe stores, all the mirrors are on the floor!
2 comments:
WOW! I think I need some antibiotics after reading that blog. I hope you get to feeling better, after a massage you should be sore but in a good way. I thought I was having a bad week. Everything is looking a little brighter after your blog. Tell you what after you are done with meds that will interfer with your drinking, come see me & I will buy you a "Got Well Slow" bottle, lol. Get better girl because life without your blogs ins't so much fun =)
OXOXOX
Babe, I think you are the Queen of Drama (as opposed to a Drama Queen!). I hope you're storing all this so you can write your book someday (which you will, of course, choose ME to edit!!!). Erma Bombeck, move over...
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