Sandal Indulgence

I love shoes. Sigh. Nothing like a sassy pair of shoes makes such a great Diva statement. I don’t know what it is, but backless shoes, mules in particular, hold unexplainable irresistible appeal to me, though a peep-toe sling-back has a remarkably similar effect! There are several articles of clothing that you could have a plain one of, but WHY? Shoes is the Queen of that rule.

As with all clothes, you must know what fits your body shape and what works for you. For example, I’m short; therefore I MUST stay away from shoes with ankle straps because, Poodle, they cut you visually in yet another place and really make you look dumpy and shorter. I swear, they do! Even though those ankle tie sandals are the most diva-licious shoe morsels around. Slurp. I must resist.

Diva Sandal Selecting Tips (please note the shoes are the bullet points and are the examples):
Heels always make your legs look better. If that makes you groan, select a wedge. They’re just so comfortable and look so super. If you need a diva sandal, doesn't this low-heeled wedge just look delicious?! Try a bold color this summer. You will be so happy you branched out!

A sub note under that is the platform is still a fantastic “heel” option. (Thank you, Spain for Espadrilles!!! Divas adore them!) Please note the example has a peep-toe feature. See, you can combite delights such as: wedge + peep toe = Diva shoe

If your feet are prone to inflating and deflating at a moment’s notice (and this is all too real in the summer with the heat and AC), please avoid the gappy-strappy kind. I saw one poor woman’s feet on an airplane one time and it was just abysmal – it looked like fat was just oozing through those straps. Just a bad, bad look. Those sandals were the multicolored strap ones that were so big in the 80’s. I know I had at least 3 pairs of them in a 4 year period – just variations on the theme. THIS IS NOT TO SAY you cannot wear strappy shoes. Just make sure before purchasing that if necessary, they have adequate wiggle room (so to speak.
Flip flops don’t have to be boring. Yellow Box is my fave brand of them – surprised that I own the pink polka dot AND the leopard (it’s even fuzzy!)? But here are some that are under $20 – how great is that?!

I think I just spent 2 hours on http://www.shoes.com/, a site I simply must make certain you know about. All of the photos here are courtesy of that marvelously shoe-infused eye-candy wonderland of a website. Who needs therapy? Nothing makes a hag-making-a-diva-comeback feel inspired like looking at glorious shoes. I suggest you take a mental break, Cupcake, and indulge with me there. Free shipping and Free returns, now THAT’S Shoe Heaven.

The Road from Diva to Hag = Very Short; The Road from Hag to Diva = Very Long

Just when you think you’re rocking and rolling, life throws you a little curve. No biggie. Adjust / dodge it, right? Maybe you THINK you’re dodging it and then more curves come at you and once you look up after doing all that adjusting, you realize, you’re going to have basically quit your job just to rearrange stuff from the fall-out.

Case Study: ME
So, you all know that I think my former hairdresser has some substance problem as was evidenced by him falling asleep standing up during my prior two haircut appointments, ending in shall we say “stylistic disasters” (reference previous postings). My haircuts for the last year haven’t been up to par. The color has been getting progressively more extreme (ask my mother, she’ll go on and on). So, I’ve replaced him. But it’s now a “process” because the color had to be CPR’d and the cut had to be worked on. Work in progress. So, a diva believes though it’s under construction, it’s also underway and on track.

Enter Curve #2. I sing. I have gook in my throat all the time. Have for years. Apparently, this isn’t normal. I have acid reflux as a result of a near deadly case of colitis last year. Reflux burns your throat and depletes the vocal quality of the voice (makes you hoarse even if you are just talking) by inflaming everything in its path vaulting stomach acid up through what feels like the top of your skull. So, I went to the doctor in January. I have asthma thanks to the reflux. I spend hundreds of dollars on meds. Some don’t even work and I have to purchase replacements. It stinks, but that’s life. I had the opportunity to check a cool item of THE LIST (see prior posting) and sing from the rooftop. I had to sound and look decent while doing so, of course. Found new stylist and got a great cut. Found an outfit. It’s looking up. And sounding better, too.

ENTER FUNGUS in the mouth due to the meds to control the asthma. Called doc, spent hundreds more on meds, sang from rooftop with hunky, earth-friendly side-kick. It was great. A few days later, Fungus spreads from tongue and just between the tonsils to way down the throat, into the ears, and up the nose. Now I don’t know about you, but even to read that, it just sounds gross. Let me just tell you, IT IS GROSS. And painful – like from time to time, my tongue feels like it could split open at any given moment; the roof of my mouth and my throat feels like it has a shag carpet. And it’s energy-depleting because to live that fungus apparently is sucking the life out of me; I’m a bit sleepy as a result. Did I mention, it’s completely gross? I won’t go into the nose part. I can’t bear to write about it.

Think it can’t get worse? ENTER VIRUS IN THE EYES. Yep, plural. I know. Ick. The up-shot is I had a lovely visit with Dr. Julie Gannon, who I think is so fantastic should you be in the market for an eye doc (Callahan Eye Foundation Hospital, Callahan’s practice). This is unrelated to the fungus, but may be related to the nose spray. I have stopped asking questions at this juncture. I’m not wearing contacts “for a long time” and no eye make up for a little while. Sigh. But a diva must go on.

ENTER FEVER and I COULDN’T MOVE MY HEAD without excruciating pain (due to the fungus). That was yesterday. If any of you saw me at the ballpark at the early t-ball game, now you know why I looked like a Hag. I was more than happy to operate the sound system and scoreboard. Hags like to hide.

OHMIGOSH I FORGOT this in the original posting. This morning, due to one of the meds making me feel dizzy, I conked my head on the shelf while putting clothes in the washing machine, so now I have a whelp on my forehead. Poodle, the glamour is overwhelming me.

Why am I telling you all of this? To make you feel better about yourself, Cupcake! You couldn’t POSSIBLY look as bad as I do. Hey, your tongue is probably pink. Mine isn’t. But the thing is, Poodle, even with this mess – it’s just funny. It’s annoying, but it isn’t the end of the world. It's just going to take some time to turn this boat around.

So what am I going to do about it?
Well, I’ve given up on working on my head – I’ve got professionals tending to specific areas of that. I went to Jennifer (yep, another one), Whittaker, Massage Therapist (223-0748 or Linda Patterson at the same office) and got pummeled. My neck has loosened up some. I can move it.

Personally, I’m starting with my feet. I gave myself a pedicure with bright pink polish this morning. Tomorrow, I plan to go shoe-shopping after the boys’ ball games. Shoes just make me happy.

The bonus? In shoe stores, all the mirrors are on the floor!

Diva Wine Know needs a contact

Our Diva of Libations, Diva Wine Know's Mom is moving from Jemison to Homewood. She is looking for someone that will price, tag & sell all her stuff in a yard sale for a percentage. If you know of anyone who does that, would you contact Jennifer (a.k.a. Diva Wine Know of The Wine Cellar in Vestavia Hills near Publix - like that plug???) at vwinecellar@bellsouth.net Many thanks.

Main Dish To Sing From Roof-Top

You know, there are some things on your List (of stuff to do before you buy the farm) and you're really not certain that you'll get to do them 'cause they're so outrageous. Silence, Petunia? What?!!! Tell me you have outrageous things that you want to do before your number's called. Oh. COME. ON. SURE YOU DO!!!!

Well, think on that while you read and then post your answer to the comment section, m'kay (keep it clean; I aim to keep my PG rating).

So, singing from the rooftop is one of those things that people talk about and I've often wondered, "Hey, does anybody really ever do that?" And thought, " if no one does, then perhaps I should look into doing it". But well, let's face it the ... sheer danger .... kept me from really pursuing it. The logistics were sort of a sticking point, too - like how do you get a sound system on a roof and mike up? In heels? Would people call the police?

Wonder no more, Poodle-Pop. This Saturday afternoon, The Main Dish takes to the rooftop to perform a musical set on 18th Street in Homewood, just down from the end of 280 (or is it the beginning?) near Dorothy McDaniel Flower Shop. On several little numbers, I'll be joined by the dashing, hunky, and totally talented Mark Rubino, who is the one who got me in this mess in the first place -- err, I mean: he's the one who is making my roof-top chanteuse dreams come true.

We rehearsed up there this morning and I learned a couple of things:
~ The pollen is definitely getting worse
~ I'm going to need a lot of hair spray
~ Subsequently, I need to bring chap stick for the luscious lips to stay hydrated about 3 stories in the air
~ I'm considering using a beauty queen technique - Vaseline the teeth so the perma-smile stays on; an added bonus is that the inner upper lip doesn't get dry while singing (in case you haven't noticed, it's kinda' windy up there)
~ There is a Mediterranean tree (tall, skinny, spruce variety) planted in Homewood (totally out of place) that's like 2 stories tall and 12 inches wide - it's really weird
~ The guy two doors down is working on his car
~ Scott Walton is indeed not just receding, but balding on the top (he's much taller than I and has lamented about it to me for about 2 years now, but I couldn't see it for myself until today - so sorry, Scott; commiserate with the Main Squeeze if necessary).
~ The crowd should be liquored up by late afternoon, right?

So, I encourage you, Poodle, to embrace an Outrageous Item on your List. It may be easier to accomplish than you think - I always envisioned a steep, pitched roof; this one is totally flat with a stair case leading to it and the always-handy pulley system to vertically transport items such as sound systems. SURPRISE! It's do-able.

So, what's your Outrageous Item???? (again, PG rating, please)

Guest Diva- Staging Your House to Sell

Guest Diva, Designer and professional Stager, Jill Boothby dishes about Staging Your Home (‘cause you know that spring is the best time to list your house). Tasty morsels, these, so take notes, Pumpkin!

Do you want to sell your home as quickly as possible? For the highest possible amount? The way you live in your home and the way you market and sell your house are two different things. When you place your house on the market, you want to create immediate buyer interest in the property….the ideal staging result is to have the potential buyer “envision” themselves living in the new home. Home staging is proven to be among the very best ways to get top dollar for you home. Here are some starters:
Inside
~ Clear the surfaces from furniture. Home stagers recommend groupings of a few items for decorative purposes only.
~ In the kitchen, take all the stuff off the fridge and clean off the counters limiting them to only what is necessary. A sparse kitchen helps the buyer imagine their items in the space.
~In the bathrooms, remove everything from the counter tops. Towels should be fresh and new looking and grouped with ribbon, rolled, or arranged in a pleasant manner. Make it look like a retreat or spa – that sells houses.
~ Clean all windows. Paint or patch walls. Clean carpets and drapes.
Outside
~ Pick up scraps, toys, garbage cans. Plant flowers. Mulch planted areas.
~ Check gutters for moss, dry rot, leaves – clean them if necessary. If leaves are on your roof, remove them.
~ Prune all bushes – if you can’t see the house, it won’t sell

Sound overwhelming? Want to learn more? Consider a professional staging service. Having your home staged to sell by staging experts is NOT a luxury in a slower sales market. As the market changes and homes begin to “sit on the market” homeowners are in need of a competitive edge to get their homes SOLD – so staging is critical!

Jill’s business is Setting the Stage (Jill and her team are pictured below- tell me these divas can't make your house look AMAZING; just look at those hot divas!), a specially appointed staging service that comes into your home and helps you set the scene to entice buyers …these services help you and your listing agent realize a quick sale at maximum value. Setting the Stage is an accredited ASP Stager team that uses strict guidelines using proven techniques. We view your home with an objective eye and will produce a detailed plan for staging your home. Our team handles many details that you may not think of during such a busy time- presentation packaging, organizational skills, decorating talents, and creative ideas to make the process as easy as possible!

Contact Jill and receive a free consultation when you mention seeing her posting on this blog! (205) 305-9546 or jboothby@boothbyrealty.com A little treat, you special, deserving creature!

Red Dirt vs. White Baseball Pants

Thank you , Tipsy Diva for your in-depth question. I'm devoting a front posting page to the timely topic of How to Get Red Clay Out of White Baseball Pants.

Now, first, I ask who in their right mind decides a t-ball, machine pitch, or any other team for that matter where falling or sliding or sheer boredom are involved would decide players should wear white pants? They're just crazy ... that, or the decision-maker on this is NOT the same one who does the household laundry. Homicide rates are down, but let's monitor that statisic over baseball season, m'kay?

If you think all's ya' gotta' do is add bleach to the load ... I say, this is evidently your first season. Strangely, bleach just doesn't cut it.

If you'd a' asked me last year, I'd swoon about OxiClean and how it does a fine job. It's not bad, but I have asthma and that powder/dust burns the heck out of my nose and throat and makes me cough. IF you happen to have OxiClean, you can apply essentially the same technique until you run out of the stuff and it will be OK.

I recently discovered ZOUT. [Insert church organ music here.] Oh ... My ... God... It's just beyond fantastic. Here's what got white All-Star pants clean finally - they'd been my frustration cause since July. Through several OxiClean treatments, bleach, Awesome (from the Dollar Store - good stuff, but not for red clay), and crazier combinations than I care to admit just to TRY to get SOME of the red out. Enter ZOUT, the laundry product that may change my life.

1. As I've said: Get you some ZOUT immediately, Girl.
2. Spray the offending, ground-in, stubborn red clay areas.
3. Leave it alone in the sink for a while. Like, run to Diva WineKnow's store (The Wine Cellar, Vestavia), get a case of wine, and dive into it.
4. Remember that you have baseball pants in your sink that need to be removed sometime before you cook next.
5. Fill the sink with tepid water. Squirt some ZOUT in the filling sink for good measure.
6. Resume interest in wine
7. When your arms feel nice and floppy, get a fabric scrub brush (you can get these at the grocery), drain water out, leaving about 1/4" in the sink.
8. Scrub that sucker/those suckers (ever notice how there's not just one spot on the pants? They come with friends.)
9. Keep wine within easy reach because this is going to take a while and you just don't want to get parched, Poodle!
10. You are going to have to drain the 1/4" now-brown water out multiple times before you're done with all the scrubbing.
11. When you get out as much clayas you can, transport pants immediately to the washing machine, start the machine with detergent, and allow machine to fill up - but employ the soaking method.
12. Find your bottle of wine.
13. Add copious amounts of bleach (like more than they recommend) to the soaking and allow pants to marinate for a good long while
14. Complete the machine cycle ... and very possibly the bottle of wine.
15. Do NOT put the pants in the dryer unless you are completely satisfied with lack of stain - 'cause heat sets stains.

I was amazed by the glowing whiteness that was the baseball pants. Thank you, ZOUT!!! I may make it through laundry cycles this baseball season.

Since the weather today is warm, a diva's thoughts turn to the garden wondering what's popping up after the daffodils. Err... until tomorrow when it's getting cold again. But that's OK- you can still plan that garden.

Sometimes there are just things you HAVE to know about, Cupcake. This is one of them. Scotts Miracle-Gro Company provides several nifty services through their website. For example, you put in your zip code and what kind of grass you have; then every month, you get an e-newsletter telling you what to do. They tell you what products to use ... and will list stores in your area carrying them. For projects you want to work on, they'll help you create a supply list. How great is that???

Bookmark the page http://www.scotts.com/ and get growin'. Oh PS - The Main Squeeze turned me on to this site (that Sweetie Pie is so helpful - he's simply irreplaceable). I've been using the service for a while and the results are great. Diva Endorsed.

XOXO