I'm starting the New Year's off in my kids' closets. So far, it's been a Yard Bag of trash and a Yard Bag of donations per room. I haven't even gotten to my closet yet.... And the tree is still up... er ... all 4 trees are still up. The upshot of having Critically Ill Main Squeeze before Thanksgiving is that the live tree is still moist due to the fact that we acquired it later than usual. Silver linings abound.
Oh! And The Main Squeeze got his PICC line out before Christmas, so he is merry, hence so am I.
Regards from the battlefront, Poodle!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Friday, December 5, 2008
Christmas Hints
Please feel free to look back to my Christmas postings from last year ... as I have been remiss a lot lately in my posting (excuses are: wedding that was beyond a nightmare due to Critically Ill Main Squeeze and the ensuing recovery and ensuing sinus infection that is raging behind my face). Nonetheless, I'm still thinking of you, my Sweet Poodle! And I had to pop in for a moment to share this reinforcement with you.
I have said for years on the radio and in person and in writing that men want the gift of gadget for Christmas (that, and lovin', but I digress). It is a tragic mistake for men to assume that their lovely diva wants the same type thing. Really, resist that thought pattern with all your might. I submit for your viewing pleasure the attached, which I can only hope was inspired by my lectures on this topic.
http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=5e32d548
Gentlemen, please take notes.
Alas, I must retire now to my steaming cup of whatever it is I cannot taste.
XOXO
Marjorie the Married Main Dish
I have said for years on the radio and in person and in writing that men want the gift of gadget for Christmas (that, and lovin', but I digress). It is a tragic mistake for men to assume that their lovely diva wants the same type thing. Really, resist that thought pattern with all your might. I submit for your viewing pleasure the attached, which I can only hope was inspired by my lectures on this topic.
http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=5e32d548
Gentlemen, please take notes.
Alas, I must retire now to my steaming cup of whatever it is I cannot taste.
XOXO
Marjorie the Married Main Dish
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Mental Note: Resist Spaghetti Day at Your Kid's Elementary School
When we moms get busy, we start to feel guilty about not paying enough attention to our kiddos. Personal reference: impending wedding (next week), heavy work load, normal never-ending amounts of laundry, etc. PLUS a child's birthday this week. So, one of our coping mechanisms to make our tots feel the mommy love is to go have lunch at the school when you can squeeze it into your mid-morning routine (yes, they eat lunch very early, which is why the afternoon snack is an essential MEAL).
I blatantly disregarded the lunch menu and was relieved that I could not only squeeze in lunch with one child, but both. Mine have the fortune of eating at 10:45 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., so I can get a visitor's pass and hang in the lunchroom for about 45 minutes and make BOTH boys feel like a million bucks. Sounds like the end of a little guilt, no?
So, it was Spaghetti Day. Let me just explain in as few words as possible how disgusting spaghetti + Kindergartners equals. I went to stand in line to get the unknown meal and my eyes rested on short noodles of spaghetti. I realized it was 10:45 and I was looking at spaghetti and felt terribly woozy. I managed to pass on lunch somehow and decided I'd just sit with the child(ren) and enjoy their precious company.
Once I got to the table with the Kindergarten class, the situation worsened. Despite wiping their faces kind of, the kids all took on an orange pallor. One kid I sat next to (not mine, thank God!), managed to get a small amount of sauce on his right ear (the side next to me, naturally). I thought at least twice I was about to have to run for a breath of fresh air.
Those sweet peas kept asking me if they could get me some iced tea. Really, I just couldn't imagine swallowing anything at that juncture. I must have looked a little green ... which certainly would have clashed with their bright, smiling, orange faces
Mercifully, their lunch time ended. When the 3 helpers in the class came to wipe down the tables, I had to flee. Really couldn't take that.
Nowhere was safe, though. I went to the second grade child's class table. Interesting dynamic in second grade: The girls realize that the boys eating habits leave a lot to be desired and split to the extent they're allowed what with the rule being that they HAVE to all sit as a class in a line of about 4 tables. There were 2 girls on one far end of the outermost table, 5 or so boys in the middle table (mine in the middle of this 3-ring circus, of course) lined up on one side so they have to lean over each other's food to talk to the ones on the outer edges, and the teacher and about 6 other children (notably the remaining girls) at the other far end table. Not catching on quickly and ever-hopeful that second grade would be less gross, I sat across from my child, who, again, was in the middle of the pack of boys .... ahem ... eating his green beans with his fingers. What a proud moment that was for me. Had it been night, I would have run out into it screaming my lungs out. Alas, it was not even noon.
The only improvement - and believe me, it was an improvement - was that their faces all seemed to have relatively normal tones. A small mercy.
While I managed to survive, I simply cannot close my eyes to sleep because Spaghetti Day at Elementary School flashes before me and my legs wobble and the rest of me feels totally shaky.
Please pass the Ambien.
I blatantly disregarded the lunch menu and was relieved that I could not only squeeze in lunch with one child, but both. Mine have the fortune of eating at 10:45 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., so I can get a visitor's pass and hang in the lunchroom for about 45 minutes and make BOTH boys feel like a million bucks. Sounds like the end of a little guilt, no?
So, it was Spaghetti Day. Let me just explain in as few words as possible how disgusting spaghetti + Kindergartners equals. I went to stand in line to get the unknown meal and my eyes rested on short noodles of spaghetti. I realized it was 10:45 and I was looking at spaghetti and felt terribly woozy. I managed to pass on lunch somehow and decided I'd just sit with the child(ren) and enjoy their precious company.
Once I got to the table with the Kindergarten class, the situation worsened. Despite wiping their faces kind of, the kids all took on an orange pallor. One kid I sat next to (not mine, thank God!), managed to get a small amount of sauce on his right ear (the side next to me, naturally). I thought at least twice I was about to have to run for a breath of fresh air.
Those sweet peas kept asking me if they could get me some iced tea. Really, I just couldn't imagine swallowing anything at that juncture. I must have looked a little green ... which certainly would have clashed with their bright, smiling, orange faces
Mercifully, their lunch time ended. When the 3 helpers in the class came to wipe down the tables, I had to flee. Really couldn't take that.
Nowhere was safe, though. I went to the second grade child's class table. Interesting dynamic in second grade: The girls realize that the boys eating habits leave a lot to be desired and split to the extent they're allowed what with the rule being that they HAVE to all sit as a class in a line of about 4 tables. There were 2 girls on one far end of the outermost table, 5 or so boys in the middle table (mine in the middle of this 3-ring circus, of course) lined up on one side so they have to lean over each other's food to talk to the ones on the outer edges, and the teacher and about 6 other children (notably the remaining girls) at the other far end table. Not catching on quickly and ever-hopeful that second grade would be less gross, I sat across from my child, who, again, was in the middle of the pack of boys .... ahem ... eating his green beans with his fingers. What a proud moment that was for me. Had it been night, I would have run out into it screaming my lungs out. Alas, it was not even noon.
The only improvement - and believe me, it was an improvement - was that their faces all seemed to have relatively normal tones. A small mercy.
While I managed to survive, I simply cannot close my eyes to sleep because Spaghetti Day at Elementary School flashes before me and my legs wobble and the rest of me feels totally shaky.
Please pass the Ambien.
Monday, October 13, 2008
It's Pumpkin Time, Pumpkin!
I know! I just LOVE pumpkins! And I use the word ... well .... liberally. They're just the most amazing things. The name is just so cute, n'est pas?
I promise to do more posting, Pumpkin. My topic will be Pumpkins. I apologize for the lapse in postings. It's just I'm about to get married to The Main Squeeze (SQUEAL!!!! IN A FEW WEEKS!!!!!!) and on top of all my work, the boys' soccer and fall baseball schedules, and my singing rehearsals (concert on Sunday), I've been a little remiss. My profuse apo-la-la-logies.
But it is fall and I do have a lot of info on pumpkins. I promise to share over the next few days.
XOXO~ MTMD
I promise to do more posting, Pumpkin. My topic will be Pumpkins. I apologize for the lapse in postings. It's just I'm about to get married to The Main Squeeze (SQUEAL!!!! IN A FEW WEEKS!!!!!!) and on top of all my work, the boys' soccer and fall baseball schedules, and my singing rehearsals (concert on Sunday), I've been a little remiss. My profuse apo-la-la-logies.
But it is fall and I do have a lot of info on pumpkins. I promise to share over the next few days.
XOXO~ MTMD
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sarah theme continued
Frankly, I don't know what it is, but I just can't stop with the Sarah Palin topics. Oh well, here's another one for your perusal, Poodle.SPECIAL ALERT: Californians Turned Off By Wine With Remarkably Similar Name to a VEEP Hopeful
Is this news? I'm leaning towards "entertainment", which is the only reason I go anywhere close to politics.
Diva WineKnow put me on to this topic. Made me laugh. Check out this article on Fox.
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/24/palin-syrah-wine-drinkers-balk-at-a-chilean-wine-with-hints-of-alaska/
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I'm just moosin' with ya
In the case that moose suddenly becomes a trendy meat item what with the intrigue from Sarah Palin, I serve up some solutions that hopefully will put you on the cutting edge of cuisine. Again, should this take off across the nation like her unprezidented (tee, hee) stardom has.
Of course, moose don't roam around Alabama, which is good because some places have their hands full with deer. You may be relieved to know that your favorite venison dish can be prepared with moose meat as a substitute. In case you don't have venison recipes, I offer some moose meat recipes for your digestion.
Moose Stroganoff
1 1/2 lbs moose sirloin steak (cut in 1/2" strips) 3 tablespoons oil
1/2 cup flour, plus 2 tablespoons flour 1tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt 1 cup beef broth
1/2 lb mushrooms, chopped 1 cup sour cream
2 small onions, chopped 1 clove garlic
Roll meat in 1/4 cup flour and salt. Saute garlic, onions and mushrooms in oil for 5 minutes. Add meat and brown. Remove meat, mushrooms and onions from pan. Add remaining flour to drippings in pan. Add Worcestershire and broth. Cook until thickened. Add sour cream. Heat until gravy simmers. Add cooked moose and vegetables and reheat. Serve over noodles or rice.
I'm starting to crave a Nordic vacation after reading that one. Let's head south and warm up. 'Cause nothing says "authentic moose recipe" quite like ........
Mexican Moose Casserole
1 1/2 lbs. ground moose 1/2 Cup water
1 pkg. soft tortillas 1/2 Cup mushrooms
1 (10 oz.) can enchilada sauce 1/4 Cup sliced black olives
1 can tomatoes 1/2 lb. grated cheddar cheese
Brown meat and spread evenly in bottom of baking dish. Tear up tortillas and place over meat. Pour enchilada sauce, tomatoes and soup over tortillas in layers. Sprinkle cheese on top and refrigerate overnight. Bake 45 minutes at 300 degrees, covered. Remove and brown.
These don't do it for you??? Relax, Poodle. You can also use your favorite meatloaf recipe featuring your fresh ground moose or use ground moose as the twist on your next hamburger.
Off to pick up my new eyeglasses.
Of course, moose don't roam around Alabama, which is good because some places have their hands full with deer. You may be relieved to know that your favorite venison dish can be prepared with moose meat as a substitute. In case you don't have venison recipes, I offer some moose meat recipes for your digestion.
Moose Stroganoff
1 1/2 lbs moose sirloin steak (cut in 1/2" strips) 3 tablespoons oil
1/2 cup flour, plus 2 tablespoons flour 1tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt 1 cup beef broth
1/2 lb mushrooms, chopped 1 cup sour cream
2 small onions, chopped 1 clove garlic
Roll meat in 1/4 cup flour and salt. Saute garlic, onions and mushrooms in oil for 5 minutes. Add meat and brown. Remove meat, mushrooms and onions from pan. Add remaining flour to drippings in pan. Add Worcestershire and broth. Cook until thickened. Add sour cream. Heat until gravy simmers. Add cooked moose and vegetables and reheat. Serve over noodles or rice.
I'm starting to crave a Nordic vacation after reading that one. Let's head south and warm up. 'Cause nothing says "authentic moose recipe" quite like ........
Mexican Moose Casserole
1 1/2 lbs. ground moose 1/2 Cup water
1 pkg. soft tortillas 1/2 Cup mushrooms
1 (10 oz.) can enchilada sauce 1/4 Cup sliced black olives
1 can tomatoes 1/2 lb. grated cheddar cheese
Brown meat and spread evenly in bottom of baking dish. Tear up tortillas and place over meat. Pour enchilada sauce, tomatoes and soup over tortillas in layers. Sprinkle cheese on top and refrigerate overnight. Bake 45 minutes at 300 degrees, covered. Remove and brown.
These don't do it for you??? Relax, Poodle. You can also use your favorite meatloaf recipe featuring your fresh ground moose or use ground moose as the twist on your next hamburger.
Off to pick up my new eyeglasses.
Friday, September 12, 2008
OK, This is better than that grocery store crap
Inspired by a posting by Cardiac Diva.
Here's a suggestion on how to pass some time watching the hurricane coverage over the next 24 hours. For those of you who don't hear me on the radio, from time to time, I advocate drinking games during coverage of national events to make them much, much more interesting (I'm not about to be branded PC, so why pretend?). I believe these can work for those purposes. If you prefer to lessen the mixing of alcohol, I suggest an alternate game could be that any time you hear the phrases that are the name of these drinks, swill your beverage of choice. You can actually order these drinks in New Orleans at St. Charles Tavern.
MANDATORY EVACUATION
1 1/2 oz. Absolut Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
ClamatoPrune juice
Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof-- even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it--if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.
CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice
Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.
CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone
Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Weather Channel StormTracker Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (They should change this to the "Cantore Zone"... damn him.) Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?
FEEDER BAND
2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.
BEACH EROSION
1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw
Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to New Jersey where it belongs.
DOWNED POWER LINE
1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola
Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.
FLOOD ZONE
2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish Cream
4 oz. rum
Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop. (Get it? There's a little math involved, Pumpkin!)
LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
1 oz. Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt
Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his ass with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.
I don't know about you, but thanks to Cardiac Diva, I'm going to be a lot more relaxed while watching hurricane coverage from now on!
Here's a suggestion on how to pass some time watching the hurricane coverage over the next 24 hours. For those of you who don't hear me on the radio, from time to time, I advocate drinking games during coverage of national events to make them much, much more interesting (I'm not about to be branded PC, so why pretend?). I believe these can work for those purposes. If you prefer to lessen the mixing of alcohol, I suggest an alternate game could be that any time you hear the phrases that are the name of these drinks, swill your beverage of choice. You can actually order these drinks in New Orleans at St. Charles Tavern.
MANDATORY EVACUATION
1 1/2 oz. Absolut Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
ClamatoPrune juice
Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof-- even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it--if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.
CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice
Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.
CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone
Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Weather Channel StormTracker Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (They should change this to the "Cantore Zone"... damn him.) Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?
FEEDER BAND
2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.
BEACH EROSION
1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw
Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to New Jersey where it belongs.
DOWNED POWER LINE
1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola
Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.
FLOOD ZONE
2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish Cream
4 oz. rum
Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop. (Get it? There's a little math involved, Pumpkin!)
LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
1 oz. Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt
Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his ass with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.
I don't know about you, but thanks to Cardiac Diva, I'm going to be a lot more relaxed while watching hurricane coverage from now on!
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