Waiting in carpool pick up line the other day, it hit me: Am I in danger of losing my edge? When did eye cream start regularly appearing on my grocery list? I didn’t feel compelled to check how much I had left a few years ago before jetting off to the store. Eye cream today, support hose tomorrow. Shriek!
Highlights of the Main Dish's action plan to actively keep the edge alive and kicking:
1. Update the vocab. This is important to retaining the edge if for no other reason than if you have kids, you truly need to understand what they’re saying – it could become a safety issue. This suggestion sports a warning label: Know how to use the new and improved vocab correctly or your cover will be blown to bits. I highly recommend regularly checking http://slang.otheday.com/ who’s mission in life is to keep me sleeping with the boss (TRANSLATION: on top of my game). Get your mind out of the gutter; I don’t have a boss!
2. Keep current on current topics. This is pretty easy to do once you figure out what entertains you. If you want to know more about politics, by all means, read several newspapers and magazines dedicated to that field. This diva doesn’t like all that arguing (Mental Bubble Gum Chewer that I am), so I keep up with Brittany Spears, Amy Winehouse, and the lovely Miss Teen South Carolina. They really put my life into perspective like nothing else. Compared to them, I’m not only really together and a competent adult, I’m a MENTAL GIANT. This is especially rewarding after a day of demands from kids and coworkers wanting outrageous results ranging from producing supper that they’ll actually eat to turning in reports in a timely fashion.
2 (a) Personal Temporary Obsession #3 Lauren Caitlin Upton (a.k.a Miss Teen South Carolina). For sport, I’m embracing a temporary quest to end a majority of sentences in “such as”. What better way to keep people listening to you when you have nothing further to say much less the inability to talk suscintly and make sense simultaneously?! This is Verbal Bubble Gum and I simply must try it. I’m seriously considering writing a post using this format such as. Lemme know what you think, m’K.
3. Seek adventure. Start small: Try a different restaurant, a new ethnic food, call a friend you haven't seen in years and go to lunch. None of these takes much time or planning, so get off your JLo-inspired butt and go have some fun. Now, if you really want to spice up your life, get out. Travel. Intimidated? Go to a state or national park – I highly recommend the Caribbean National Forest in Puerto Rico, the only rainforest in the US Park system.
When does a diva have time to work on her edge? Carpool line! How else are you going to fill up those 21 minutes of your day?
It’s not so much that a diva loses her cool edge, she just may not realize it slips away bit by bit. The work, school, soccer schedules organize our lives, but the danger to our edges comes when we slip into becoming schedule drones. Fight it. Kick your game up a notch, Pumpkin. Embrace your inner fabulousness. Reclaim your cool edge such as.
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2 comments:
re: PTO #3, Miss South Carolina--Remember to use the definite article to refer to all countries, for example "the Iraq"...Countries, continents, what's the diff? Sprinkle them about equally, "such as" the Iraq, Asia, Africa... m'kay?
I do love The South Carolina! And as an English Major (once upon a time), I find her communication choices most intriguing. I simply can't help but wonder if she won't be the next trend-setter perhaps like the New Valley Girl, Such As (please note the such as ends a quasi-thought, m'K?)
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