I have a theory

What if we're not really in an economic crisis? What if everyone's on Facebook and not getting their work done? Like, all across the globe. I think it's plausible. Thoughts?

Mental Note: Resist Spaghetti Day at Your Kid's Elementary School

When we moms get busy, we start to feel guilty about not paying enough attention to our kiddos. Personal reference: impending wedding (next week), heavy work load, normal never-ending amounts of laundry, etc. PLUS a child's birthday this week. So, one of our coping mechanisms to make our tots feel the mommy love is to go have lunch at the school when you can squeeze it into your mid-morning routine (yes, they eat lunch very early, which is why the afternoon snack is an essential MEAL).

I blatantly disregarded the lunch menu and was relieved that I could not only squeeze in lunch with one child, but both. Mine have the fortune of eating at 10:45 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., so I can get a visitor's pass and hang in the lunchroom for about 45 minutes and make BOTH boys feel like a million bucks. Sounds like the end of a little guilt, no?

So, it was Spaghetti Day. Let me just explain in as few words as possible how disgusting spaghetti + Kindergartners equals. I went to stand in line to get the unknown meal and my eyes rested on short noodles of spaghetti. I realized it was 10:45 and I was looking at spaghetti and felt terribly woozy. I managed to pass on lunch somehow and decided I'd just sit with the child(ren) and enjoy their precious company.

Once I got to the table with the Kindergarten class, the situation worsened. Despite wiping their faces kind of, the kids all took on an orange pallor. One kid I sat next to (not mine, thank God!), managed to get a small amount of sauce on his right ear (the side next to me, naturally). I thought at least twice I was about to have to run for a breath of fresh air.

Those sweet peas kept asking me if they could get me some iced tea. Really, I just couldn't imagine swallowing anything at that juncture. I must have looked a little green ... which certainly would have clashed with their bright, smiling, orange faces

Mercifully, their lunch time ended. When the 3 helpers in the class came to wipe down the tables, I had to flee. Really couldn't take that.

Nowhere was safe, though. I went to the second grade child's class table. Interesting dynamic in second grade: The girls realize that the boys eating habits leave a lot to be desired and split to the extent they're allowed what with the rule being that they HAVE to all sit as a class in a line of about 4 tables. There were 2 girls on one far end of the outermost table, 5 or so boys in the middle table (mine in the middle of this 3-ring circus, of course) lined up on one side so they have to lean over each other's food to talk to the ones on the outer edges, and the teacher and about 6 other children (notably the remaining girls) at the other far end table. Not catching on quickly and ever-hopeful that second grade would be less gross, I sat across from my child, who, again, was in the middle of the pack of boys .... ahem ... eating his green beans with his fingers. What a proud moment that was for me. Had it been night, I would have run out into it screaming my lungs out. Alas, it was not even noon.

The only improvement - and believe me, it was an improvement - was that their faces all seemed to have relatively normal tones. A small mercy.

While I managed to survive, I simply cannot close my eyes to sleep because Spaghetti Day at Elementary School flashes before me and my legs wobble and the rest of me feels totally shaky.

Please pass the Ambien.

I'm just moosin' with ya

In the case that moose suddenly becomes a trendy meat item what with the intrigue from Sarah Palin, I serve up some solutions that hopefully will put you on the cutting edge of cuisine. Again, should this take off across the nation like her unprezidented (tee, hee) stardom has.

Of course, moose don't roam around Alabama, which is good because some places have their hands full with deer. You may be relieved to know that your favorite venison dish can be prepared with moose meat as a substitute. In case you don't have venison recipes, I offer some moose meat recipes for your digestion.

Moose Stroganoff
1 1/2 lbs moose sirloin steak (cut in 1/2" strips) 3 tablespoons oil
1/2 cup flour, plus 2 tablespoons flour 1tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt 1 cup beef broth
1/2 lb mushrooms, chopped 1 cup sour cream
2 small onions, chopped 1 clove garlic
Roll meat in 1/4 cup flour and salt. Saute garlic, onions and mushrooms in oil for 5 minutes. Add meat and brown. Remove meat, mushrooms and onions from pan. Add remaining flour to drippings in pan. Add Worcestershire and broth. Cook until thickened. Add sour cream. Heat until gravy simmers. Add cooked moose and vegetables and reheat. Serve over noodles or rice.

I'm starting to crave a Nordic vacation after reading that one. Let's head south and warm up. 'Cause nothing says "authentic moose recipe" quite like ........

Mexican Moose Casserole
1 1/2 lbs. ground moose 1/2 Cup water
1 pkg. soft tortillas 1/2 Cup mushrooms
1 (10 oz.) can enchilada sauce 1/4 Cup sliced black olives
1 can tomatoes 1/2 lb. grated cheddar cheese
Brown meat and spread evenly in bottom of baking dish. Tear up tortillas and place over meat. Pour enchilada sauce, tomatoes and soup over tortillas in layers. Sprinkle cheese on top and refrigerate overnight. Bake 45 minutes at 300 degrees, covered. Remove and brown.

These don't do it for you??? Relax, Poodle. You can also use your favorite meatloaf recipe featuring your fresh ground moose or use ground moose as the twist on your next hamburger.

Off to pick up my new eyeglasses.

Hot, Hot Olympic Merchandise

You know that people collect hats, pins, and t-shirts commemorating the Olympic games. Then there's the good old American ingenuity inspired by love of sport, great competition or just a crazy name that gets products churning out. But, please, please don't discount the effect that hottie male swimmers have on the American female home viewer. I have refined diva girlfriends who are almost in cat fights over Michael Phelps being their next boyfriend. I've overheard other girlfriends talk about how they think that swimsuit is just going to peel every so slightly to reveal the plumber crack and giggling about it. They are all in phases of depression now that swimming is over. PS I'm laughing at all of you.

Anyway, here is a delightful product that was sent this morning for my perusal (thanks, Allen!). I am compelled to share it because it just makes me laugh even harder.

Should you need to acquire this immediatemente, I understand it's available at The Hotness Factory. Google it. I can't look it up,

'cause the tree removal dude finally showed up to take down my gigantic, totally dead oak tree. Must run.

Toodles~

If I don't post for a while ...

It's because I'm about to be at the ball field constantly. My 5 year old's t-ball team won the city championship last night. Both my boys have been chosen for all-stars. Of course, their games will be played in 2 different towns. What do you think my odds are that the games won't be at the EXACT SAME TIME??? I'm about to hold my breath.

Oh, and I'm heading to Indianapolis for the weekend. I hear there's something called a "motor sport event" happening there. I'll investigate and report back.

Quick Update

I'm off to NYC to sing again at Carnegie Hall under the direction of the Choral Group Hottie, Terre Johnson. I can't wait.

Just want to let you know that I'll be back on The Rox Report 5/19 at 8:30; topic is celebs, so keep your requests coming. I now have Roxanne's link over there under blog faves (even though it's a web page - small detail).

If you want to buy my 2001 Mercedes S430, it's parked across the street from the Macy's entrance at Brookwood Village with an info sheet on the rear passenger door. BTW, the phone number is my agent's.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all you moms! For ideas on what to send Mom at the last minute, I refer you to the Valentine Flower information posting. You'll be Mom's favorite for sure!

Toodles, Poodle! XOXO ~ Marjorie TMD

Dish wants to know

So, who are your favorite celebs to follow and why? Please post to the blog.
Yes, there is a reason for me asking this. All to be revealed Friday.
XOXO - MTMD
PS Please note: shortest entry yet

Help Desks Suck

My personal email isn't sending or receiving reliably. God only knows how long this has been going on. I have spent THREE DAYS on e-technical support and subsequently on the telephone to helpless Help Desks. Here's what I've learned so far:
~ No one really gives a crap
~ The people who are supposed to help you aren't really equipped to help you. You have to kick and scream to get anywhere. In doing so, you risk pissing off the little people who can write lies in the "log" about the problem, spouting such untruths as "she hung up on me, so I'm not fixing the problem since she is uncooperative". GOOD GRIEF! Why on God's Green Earth would I do something that would take LONGER to solve the problem???

Here's the morsel I've found to date:
If you get someone in India, you may request an American operator and they must transfer you to the next available on-shore operator. LOVE THAT!

Any tricks or tips or bribes that have worked for any of you to get you further up in the line of fellow sufferers would be most appreciated.

I think I'll need a lobotomy if I have to deal with much more of this. Alcohol won't dull the pain.

Need a Time-Waster/Mental Bubble Gum?

This Old House has a segment on their web page called [Range] Hoods Gone Wild. Apparently a few hood manufacturing companies decided to get creative with the range hood and have combined it with ways to charge unbelievably outrageous prices for range hoods (you know, those very noisy things that hang over your stove to keep the smoke out of your living room supposedly while you're whipping up a delicious treat).

You simply must take a gawk at this, Strudel. http://www.thisoldhouse.com/toh/photos/0,,20191317,00.html?xid=hinnewsletter-041508-vent-hoods Be sure to flip through all the pages to get the whole enchilada.

What proves most entertaining to this Diva are the posted comments under the professionally written product description. One, I swear, sounds just like our dear reader Allen (not the camp person Allen; Radio Listener Fan Allen - you both are morsels). See what you think and get back to me (NOT about the Allens; the Range Hoods, silly goose!).

Toodles, Poodles!

Another update

The bills passed both the House and the Senate committees yesterday. The compromise language boils down to this:

Good News: No School in June or July

Eh News: Schools won't start back until AFTER August 10th. It's still royally hot then, but it's better than Blount County's start date this fall of August 7th.

Out of the Blue: Schools will be allowed up to 6 weeks of vacation during the school calendar year. Currently there are about 5 weeks (Fall Break/Thanksgiving week, 2 weeks @ Christmas, 1 week spring break, 1 week of teacher work days).

THESE BILLS STILL HAVE TO GO IN FRONT OF BOTH THE HOUSE AND SENATE FOR VOTING BEFORE THIS GOES IN EFFECT, so stay tuned. Thanks to those who emailed. It made a big, big difference.

XOXO

Updates

1. HAIR. For those of you Sweet Peeps who have been concerned about the state/condition/color of my hair, please breathe a collective sigh of relief. The Main Squeeze is about to really like the color again (I usually pay zero attention to what a fellow thinks of my hair because if he's dating me for my hair, then I don't want him - The Main Squeeze isn't like that; he just likes the red, 'cause it's sassy. Tee, hee!) and for that, it's worth what I just dropped paying for it. The cut is great, though a little short. But to quote my mother, "The great thing about hair is it grows. Just wait." It just looks better. If you ever need a perk, go to a trusted stylist for a faboo cut and you're transformed.

2. Toenails = You're a Pisa Work, my very fave color (Opi brand)

3. Fingernails = French nude

PS I did 2 & 3 myself despite The Main Squeeze arranging for a mani-pedi for me. LOVE that a lot. The nail place was a disaster of an experience and reminds me why I don't like those foreign-jobby nail places, despite the fact they're time and cost effective. My feet were in tepid water they'd left running and forgotten about me until the thing nearly overflowed. To add to that experience, it was filled with Lysol, which was starting to slowly burn the skin off my body - NOT relaxing, by the by. The chair massage started a karate chop ... AT MY HEAD, which was really disturbing, but I thought, I'll just wait to see if the basin overflows and for sure, this action will go down my back. Well, it moved from my head (yea!) ... and got stuck in my back in such a way that you could readily see the kneading balls pushing through the pleather when you leaned forward. It just stopped like that. I couldn't sit back because I had these hard spheres in my back and to put my head on the head rest part, I had to arch my back. Remember, too, my skin is being seared off by Lysol cleaner that you add to water (like to mop with, I think). I sat bolt upright in a massage chair for like 15 minutes. No one noticed. The tub was about to overflow. No one noticed. I'd been left there in a foot-washing torture chamber and I wasn't at a country Baptist church. I decided that since I'm working to un-do the Hag look, I'd best get the hell out. If anyone knows of a good mani-pedi place that doesn't feature torture, please post. The Main Squeeze gets major points for thinking to get me a mani-pedi AND making the arrangements to surprise me. That was just beyond thoughtful. He's just THE Best!!!!

4. Fungus. Eyes are completely better. Contacts back in their rightful positions. The doctor's office never returned my phone call. Thanks to Voice Coach Queen, the doc's daughter had a lesson and VCQ inquired about the latest developments with the fungus down my throat etc. VCQ called me with the doc there b/c the doc realized she hadn't heard from me and PERSONALLY ON THE SPOT called in more RX's for me ... costing me more than $100 for this fungus treatment. It's on the mend and has cleared out of everything but my mouth and throat, which is an improvement.

5. I'm at the ballpark 4 week nights plus 4 hours every Saturday. I keep hearing from friends, "I haven't seen you lately." Well, I'm either driving to the ballpark (like to pick up children from across the globe and drive them to practice/games), at the ballpark, driving home from the ballpark, or scrubbing the red clay out of the baseball pants. Funny, the folks at the ballpark aren't the ones telling me they haven't seen me around. For those of you who know how competitive my boys are, you'll be relieved to know that one is on the #2 machine pitch team and the other one is on the #1 t-ball team at present.

6. When I'm not at the ballpark, I'm singing somewhere or in rehearsals. Mozart Requiem plays in my head at all times currently. Even when I sleep, it's going. Concerts start in about a month.

7. WAPI. I was a guest on Lisa Roxanne Holifield's morning talk show this morning. Being back in the studio was great! She is delightful. It's a great show featuring a smart, compassionate woman talking about timely topics and news. My topic, surprisingly, was not helpful tips, but the bill going to committee today concerning the school calendar issue. The phone calls were excellent and none staged, I promise! There was this one weird guy calling in claiming to be Roxanne's biggest fan, but I changed the subject of his conversation and she hung up on him. Yep, that's good old fashioned Girl Teamwork. The whole visit was great fun.

The Diva Comeback Tour continues. Well, actually, I have to go pick up in carpool line in a sec.
XOXO

I hate politics, BUT

In Alabama, there is a committee meeting TOMORROW that effects all of our school children. HB 179 and SB 241 propose a uniform start date close to Labor Day for ALL SCHOOLS and that they end just before Memorial Day.

Why is this a big deal? Do you remember the 107-degree days that we had in August? They're pretty typical in these parts. School children across Alabama go to schools either without air-conditioned buildings or with broken air conditioning. My kids (and probably yours) are a smaller percentage of kids who go to schools with good environments. Even in good environments, any child in the state riding a school bus is being transported in ovens in August. There are several stories of children suffering from heat exhaustion just from riding the school bus home in the afternoon. Children can't learn, do their homework, or feel invigorated to go to ballet lessons after suffering through these conditions.

When I was growing up, we had 11-12 weeks of summer. Now there are 8-10 weeks. We didn't go back to school until August 20th at the earliest. I remember one summer camp year when I was 14 or 15 dreading August 27th when school started. My kids' school starts August 11, 2008. UGH!

Kids with asthma can't go on the playground in August because the air is polluted (I have asthma, so I'm not knocking those kids). This prohibits the entire classroom from going on the playground. Kids need to get their energy out several times a day in order to behave in the classroom and to learn.

Not sold? How about the financial costs of air conditioning your home in August? Multiply that amount by a hormone-filled middle school of 500-1,000 kids PLUS the staff. THEN COOK for them and keep the lunch room at a reasonable temperature. WHY are we doing this at the historically hottest time of the year? WHY can't these dollars be put in the classroom instead of going to Alabama Power?

The Chamber of Commerces in the beach areas (Florida Panhandle and the Alabama Coastal areas) state that revenue goes down MILLIONS of dollars in August, the hottest month, because people are getting kids back to school -when they would otherwise be at the beach. This effects the amount of funds that go towards education and services, people! It's being taken out of our kids' educational pockets.

Educational Administrators wax on about test scores, more days needed in the fall to prepare for state testing, and the need for areas to set their own schedules. Let me debunk those for you.
1. Test Scores. The highest test scores in the state are in Mountain Brook. They are the latest starting school system in the state. They, by the way, have exams before winter holidays, too (another reason superintendents state the late start date is a bad idea).
2. More days in the Fall needed for state testing preparation. Homewood City Schools have MORE HOLIDAYS and WORK DAYS IN THE FALL THAN IN THE SPRING. If you require a fair break down that I emailed the committee members, I am pleased to provide it to you. It AMAZES me how miraculously these holidays and teacher work days fall right before or on, say, Columbus Day. See, superintendents have to work during the summer to get out those passing/failing test scores (never on time yet) and they want days off. They can't do it in the summer because they're trying to not fail the test score game. They don't care about kids learning anything. They want long weekends. To that point and bringing it to the hoity-toity level, my older child's teacher missed 5 days in the classroom to attend conferences that weren't scheduled during those appointed "work days". Hmmmmm....
3. School systems need to set their own schedules. Mobile is the chief complainer here - talking about Mardi Gras. Last time I checked, that's in the spring prior to testing. Well, if you don't take a fall break, you can make that adjustment in your instructional days. Boo-hoo. Get over it!

Our legislators hear from the superintendents all the time. They have been brainwashed by people who supposedly have our children's educational needs in mind. What I believe is that they have their own vacation plans in mind, screw our kids and let them melt. Folks, the heat in August in Alabama is dangerous and not conducive to learning. I urge you to email these people below who have the power to help our youngest citizens and do one more thing to help control their learning environment for the better. This is common sense. It is family-friendly. It makes economic sense. It helps disadvantaged children have a healthier, better chance at learning. Whatever of those reasons works for you, please communicate IMMEDIATELY with these people. Tomorrow's vote is riding on you - the superintendents have this beat if you don't email now to urge a Yes Vote and our kids will melt into dripping pools on their text books. By the way, they've heard from me personally TWICE this week. XOXO ~Marjorie

Email Addresses of Committee Members:
staterep@co.escambia.al.us ; staterep@co.escambia.al.us ; bboyd@calhouncounty.org ; macmccutcheon@knology.net ; house3@alhouse.org ; tommysherer@yahoo.com ; harryshiver@aol.com ; bsketa@aol.com ; camjulward@aol.com ; priscilla.dunn@alhouse.org ; lea.fite@alhouse.org ; john.robinson@alhouse.org ; yvonne.kennedy@alhouse.org ; terry.spicer@alhouse.org ; kbenefield@acs-isp.com ; bobby@bobbydenton.com ; senatorerwin@aol.com ; info@parkergriffith.com ; trip.pittman@alsenate.gov ; myronpenn28@hotmail.com ; qtross2002@hotmail.com ; wmitchell@faulkner.edu ; zeb@zeblittlelawfirm.com ; jabo.waggoner@alsenate.gov

The Road from Diva to Hag = Very Short; The Road from Hag to Diva = Very Long

Just when you think you’re rocking and rolling, life throws you a little curve. No biggie. Adjust / dodge it, right? Maybe you THINK you’re dodging it and then more curves come at you and once you look up after doing all that adjusting, you realize, you’re going to have basically quit your job just to rearrange stuff from the fall-out.

Case Study: ME
So, you all know that I think my former hairdresser has some substance problem as was evidenced by him falling asleep standing up during my prior two haircut appointments, ending in shall we say “stylistic disasters” (reference previous postings). My haircuts for the last year haven’t been up to par. The color has been getting progressively more extreme (ask my mother, she’ll go on and on). So, I’ve replaced him. But it’s now a “process” because the color had to be CPR’d and the cut had to be worked on. Work in progress. So, a diva believes though it’s under construction, it’s also underway and on track.

Enter Curve #2. I sing. I have gook in my throat all the time. Have for years. Apparently, this isn’t normal. I have acid reflux as a result of a near deadly case of colitis last year. Reflux burns your throat and depletes the vocal quality of the voice (makes you hoarse even if you are just talking) by inflaming everything in its path vaulting stomach acid up through what feels like the top of your skull. So, I went to the doctor in January. I have asthma thanks to the reflux. I spend hundreds of dollars on meds. Some don’t even work and I have to purchase replacements. It stinks, but that’s life. I had the opportunity to check a cool item of THE LIST (see prior posting) and sing from the rooftop. I had to sound and look decent while doing so, of course. Found new stylist and got a great cut. Found an outfit. It’s looking up. And sounding better, too.

ENTER FUNGUS in the mouth due to the meds to control the asthma. Called doc, spent hundreds more on meds, sang from rooftop with hunky, earth-friendly side-kick. It was great. A few days later, Fungus spreads from tongue and just between the tonsils to way down the throat, into the ears, and up the nose. Now I don’t know about you, but even to read that, it just sounds gross. Let me just tell you, IT IS GROSS. And painful – like from time to time, my tongue feels like it could split open at any given moment; the roof of my mouth and my throat feels like it has a shag carpet. And it’s energy-depleting because to live that fungus apparently is sucking the life out of me; I’m a bit sleepy as a result. Did I mention, it’s completely gross? I won’t go into the nose part. I can’t bear to write about it.

Think it can’t get worse? ENTER VIRUS IN THE EYES. Yep, plural. I know. Ick. The up-shot is I had a lovely visit with Dr. Julie Gannon, who I think is so fantastic should you be in the market for an eye doc (Callahan Eye Foundation Hospital, Callahan’s practice). This is unrelated to the fungus, but may be related to the nose spray. I have stopped asking questions at this juncture. I’m not wearing contacts “for a long time” and no eye make up for a little while. Sigh. But a diva must go on.

ENTER FEVER and I COULDN’T MOVE MY HEAD without excruciating pain (due to the fungus). That was yesterday. If any of you saw me at the ballpark at the early t-ball game, now you know why I looked like a Hag. I was more than happy to operate the sound system and scoreboard. Hags like to hide.

OHMIGOSH I FORGOT this in the original posting. This morning, due to one of the meds making me feel dizzy, I conked my head on the shelf while putting clothes in the washing machine, so now I have a whelp on my forehead. Poodle, the glamour is overwhelming me.

Why am I telling you all of this? To make you feel better about yourself, Cupcake! You couldn’t POSSIBLY look as bad as I do. Hey, your tongue is probably pink. Mine isn’t. But the thing is, Poodle, even with this mess – it’s just funny. It’s annoying, but it isn’t the end of the world. It's just going to take some time to turn this boat around.

So what am I going to do about it?
Well, I’ve given up on working on my head – I’ve got professionals tending to specific areas of that. I went to Jennifer (yep, another one), Whittaker, Massage Therapist (223-0748 or Linda Patterson at the same office) and got pummeled. My neck has loosened up some. I can move it.

Personally, I’m starting with my feet. I gave myself a pedicure with bright pink polish this morning. Tomorrow, I plan to go shoe-shopping after the boys’ ball games. Shoes just make me happy.

The bonus? In shoe stores, all the mirrors are on the floor!

Diva Sightings

Sorry, kids, for my lapse. I've been the following places recently:

• Nashville, lost in the Opryland Hotel. I hate that place. I swear, I couldn't find the front door and walked around for 30+ minutes. How embarrassing!
• the t-ball and machine pitch baseball fields (NOW you understand - yep, I'm co-Team Mom for both kids' teams, ugh!)
• Rehearsing Mozart
• Singing jazz
• Installing garage organizational systems
• Echola, Alabama (West Tuscaloosa County, i.e. "The Sticks"/BFE/ The Ends of the Earth - but I loved it. VERY pretty!!! I traded recently canned tomato chutney I made with Pear Preserves with the Main Squeeze's adorable mother. I won. I got the better end of the swap!!! Now if Dash would stop eating my pear preserves every morning with his English Muffin, I might get a shot at having some before he cleans me out.
• Doing laundry (see above ref. baseball - those pants are a killer to get the wet, red clay out of)

I'll get back on the blog-writing stick soon. As a side note to Diva WineKnow and others - I post responses under the topic, even a week or two afterwards. So, if you're looking for the hair update, check the comments under the topic. Sorry, I'm anal - must file.

XOXO

The Main Dish

Funny Email. Compelled to Share

The text says: Much to their suprise, the Virgins awaiting Muslims in Heaven were not what they expected. Don't know the source - sorry.

A Chaser of Valentine's Anti-Venom

I've been plagued with thoughts to accomodate you darling readers who HATE Valentine's Day. I'm on it. Been there. Snapped out of it - 'cause I have little kids and you just can't be cynical about V-Day AND be an inspiring parent. They don't get it. That, and the Main Squeeze rocks my world (sorry, but he does; I'm just sickeningly happy).

This article is so funny as it bashes all the stupid, bad/weird plot, movie love comedy genre that you probably love and hate at the same time. http://movies.msn.com/new-on-dvd/feature-article/?news=298765&Gt1=7701

It's worth a read even if you're not pissed about Valentine's Day.

I'm ALMOST Speechless

Back on the insane celebrity gossip end of my spectrum, I turn to the recent story about David Beckham, soccer star's newest tatoo. Yes, I'm plunging to the depths of the bowels of the writing cesspool. Here is a link to the Marie Claire article, should you wish to find further information http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/celebrity/176828/david-beckham-gets-new-posh-tattoo.html

This was forwarded to me in an email (sorry, I don't know the source):
While David Beckham allegedly strayed from his marriage in the past, women looking for a hook up in the future will find the indelible proof of his marital status inked on his muscular left forearm – a six-inch tattoo of his wife, Victoria.
“They are both thrilled with the result,” said a source quoted by Hello magazine. “It has been beautifully done. Victoria is flattered."
The 11th addition to Becks’ growing gallery of body art, this latest design depicts his “Posh” wife as a bare-breasted angel, surrounded by stars. The new image wraps around an older inscription of Victoria’s name written in Hindi.
“He thinks she’s his angel,” said another insider, “which is why he got an image of her among the stars.” But it isn’t all about Posh. Friends say Becks is well on the way to emulating the lead character on his favorite show, “Prison Break,” whose upper torso is completely covered in tattoos.

OF COURSE, now it's becoming evident, Becks is a gangsta' wanna' be, but he's a soccer stud until such time. Insert my eye-roll here.

A message to the Main Squeeze (and anyone else who cares) THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC to this Dish. AT ALL. DO NOT CONSIDER FOR VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT. It is just gross and a waste of money. Can you imagine what this will look like when he turns 85, for example, and the wrinkles skew the "art"?! There are other ways to state that you are married and to BACK THE @#$^ off. Billboards? wedding rings? I just am not certain that a potential chick looking for squeezing with Posh's husband is going to be able to FIND the wife's tatoo in and amongst all the other stuff going on that "canvass".

Relationship Related Topic

I was breakfasting this AM with a delicious morsel of a friend. During the course of the conversation, it turned to Relationship Rules. These were offered and I thought they would benefit the Good of the Group of Divas/Dudes - whether you're in a relationship or it's time to have a chat with a child about relationship boundaries. Food for thought:

It's all over when any of the following occur:
- The other person says, "I don't love you anymore." Yep, that's the fork in the proverbial meat there, n'est pas? If they say it and later try to say they didn't mean it, leave anyway 'cause it's just hateful and that's ... well, not loving. AT ALL.
- The other person gets so mad that s/he leaves you somewhere by yourself (side of the road, at a party without a word of goodbye, etc.). In this day and age, safety is a big deal. Feeling safe in a relationship is a big deal. This situation occurs, the other party is bluntly telling you that s/he doesn't care one whit what happens to you. It's OVER.
- Physical contact - not of the good kind- out of anger. There's no excuse for that ... EVER. The other person is willing to hurt you to the point it leaves physical evidence. Yeah. OVER.

While these are Splendid, I knew these would get you contributing because there is more meat here. Does anyone else have any relationship rules of non-engagement (so to speak)? It is, after all, for the good of the group. DISH!!!!
XOXO!

K-Fed / Brittany Custody Crisis = NOT NORMAL

Doncha' just love the stupid things stars say?! Some days, it really keeps me going. This being the icing on the proverbial cake.

K-Fed in an interview posted this morning on People Magazine's website http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20171844,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines says :
"I think the infatuation with the whole thing is that watching us go through things [custody hearing] makes other people feel normal."

Pumpkin, NO! This is NOT NORMAL. I've been through a custody fight and your way ain't textbook; nowhere is it close to "normal". In fact, I follow this mental-bubble-gum gossip stuff and it makes me feel somewhat SUPERIOR TO YOU. Not in the whole checkbook balance arena, but in the real life stuff. Heck, I can wear a trench coat over my old wedding dress and go shopping for a Mercedes with a friend, too. That ain't normal, either, but I could do it. It just would never occur to me to do that. Because it's not normal. So, no. The Peanut Gallery is not looking at your story to feel normal. We're gawking and pointing and snickering and pretty much thankful that we're not part of that soap opera. We are NOT thinking that because this is happening to you that our own stuff is normal. We don't equate your life and our lives as happening in the same world.

But, Feddie, Poodle, if you need to think that we think you're normal just to get through this absurd situation with your out of control estranged wife.... then go right ahead. Ooh, I am compelled to make one more teensy, tiny comment: It's not normal to have your bodyguard pick up your kids when it's your turn to have them. It's your responsibility to transport YOUR kids. Sure, making arrangements for their transportation is technically fine BUT outside of continual court appearances and what with the writers' strike (you could be going on Conan or something, I suppose, to talk trash to fill your days), I don't see that you're doing a whole heck of a lot work-wise. What's to fill your time with besides transporting your children to say the park or Michael Jackson's home for a fun-filled afternoon? (Again, besides court and the lawyer meetings) So go pick up your own flesh and blood children YOURSELF if you want me to think that you're a credible, loving parent who will take the very best care of those helpless creatures with a freak-show for a mother for the love of Pete.

Why am I not a judge? Oh yeah. You wouldn't be able to see my fabulous shoes behind the bench. Right.

Cheers to Diva WineKnow

Please note that I have added Diva WineKnow's new blog to my list of Faves (lower left on the page). I am delighted to see an informative spot to check out wine info. I hope you will visit the blog and Jennifer's store in Vestavia. I'm heading that way just as soon as we polish off the cases of Bombay Cafe house wine that The Main Squeeze purchased for our last party. Let's just say that my garage, a.k.a. Wine Cellar (ha!), is a fire hazzard currently. Such problems this Main Dish has ....