Dishin with the Divas

Alabama Tornado Information

2011-05-04T09:53:00.002-05:00

Greetings to everyone cleaning up from and sorting supplies following last week's horrible tornado outbreak across Alabama. It is a gigantic job and will take a long time to recover.

I lived in Tuscaloosa, AL for several years and graduated high school there. Three of my high school friends' businesses are severely damaged, so I am helping with the efforts there. PLEASE know that the damage in the Birmingham area and all the small areas across Alabama are also beyond words. WE NEED HELP. Our state revenue (among other things) suffered tremendously due to the BP/Gulf Oil Spill and our kids' schools are already looking at massive cutbacks next year. Jefferson County has lost unspeakable amounts of money due to bad bond deals and we pay the highest sewer rates probably known to man. We did not need these tornados to make things worse, but oh well.

How can you help?

On Facebook, please join / like two sites I am administering: Tuscaloosa Tornado Donations and Tuscaloosa Tornado Updates. On the Updates page, there is a document in the right column entitled Monetary Donations for Tuscaloosa Tornado Recovery. That document has links to organizations where the funds will STAY in Tuscaloosa. I am updating this constantly.

We need stuff. Our stores are running out of basic supplies. Some amazing peeps at Auburn University have set up a site called Toomer's for Tide. These energetic, relentlessly dedicated volunteers are finding drop off sites across the US. Please visit their Facebook site, Toomers for Tide and go to their document listing by state to learn where you can drop off stuff.

Thank you so very much for your consideration to help out the amazing people of Alabama. XO!!!!

Decorating for Christmas 2010

2010-12-07T14:46:00.003-06:00

Well, Tinsel, I'm sorry to say this, but you're out this year. Yes, we're having flash backs to 1967 because fake snow (I think it was called "flocking your tree") is in.

Fortunately, the up-side to still being in a recession (I don't believe we're out of it, do you? I mean, REALLY) is that during hard times, trends go back to traditional (again, flocking the tree? Is that necessary?)

So, the big trend of outdoor, jumbo-sized decorations are still going strong. In my neighborhood alone, we have Penguins on a Train, a snow globe of epic proportions (do you know TSA will confiscate your snow globe of regular proportions if you dare sneak it on an airplane?), a blow up dog with a Santa hat, and what I can only describe as stay-puff Christmas trees - a "forest" of 3.

The biggest news-maker this year is the new LED lights. They are supposed to be really energy efficient. While a far cry from the original candle, I think that this could move us in a good direction ... unless, of course, you're the local power company, who, let's face it is really the big winner this time of year.

PS I'm NOT flocking my trees. Nope. Nary a one. How about you, Vixen?

Gift Tips for Kiddos 2010

2010-11-30T14:37:00.005-06:00

BRRRRR. Thanksgiving's over and I've returned with some hot, new ideas for Christmas, Poodles! (Miss you bunches!)

Let's get right down to business = shopping! Everybody's doing it this week, so I have whipped up a list I hope you will find most deliciously helpful with those hard-to-shop for kiddos that will make you look like you are the hippest, hottest, and most spot-on diva (but that's a given, right?). Random order:

- Anything Toy Story 3. The toys from this are all over the place and aren't terribly pricey. Look for Mr. Potato Head to the Ken and Barbie dolls.

- Similarly, with the tres recent release of Harry Potter, anything in that genre is timely and cool.

- Creepily enough (perhaps because of my allergies I think they're creepy), the Zhu Zhu pet hamster continues to be a must-have item. Being the smart critters they are, there are accessories, styles, and colors to choose from (Ah-Ha! Now the Diva sees the allure). With several hamsters in the line, you can add to a small loved one's collection.

- Pillow Pets make sensational gifts. I even heard teenage girls want them. You may have seen them advertised as "a pillow and (visual of a snapping strap here) a stuffed animal pet". Well, I got my preschool nephew the Dog and must say it is so soft and totally adorable (ladybug, dolphin, bumble bee, unicorn = some of the myriad of options). You can find them for about $25-30 on line and I saw some in Wal-Mart the other day. But hurry; the more popular pets are expected to sell out.

- Pre-teens will love a CD featuring Disney or Nickelodeon recording stars. Similar to the Glee sensation, some of the shows aimed at kids this age feature talented singers. Move over, Hannah Montana, replacements are on their way.

- Older kids, especially ones whose parents are like me and won't let them have a phone for FOREVER or until Jr. High, will love getting a digital camera.

- Electronic games such as Wii, XBox, or PlayStation are always hits that if you're lucky, the whole family can enjoy together (or separately - not sure how you'd enjoy it more - I personally have more of a shot at winning when I'm not holding a glass of wine and/ or playing with my kids, but that's just me).

So, Peaches, I hope this gets you pointed in a better direction for finishing (or starting) your shopping extravaganza. Holla!

A Note From Our Plumbing Diva

2010-05-18T08:25:00.002-05:00

YES! I know you're probably rubbing your eyes in disbelief, but indeed, Virginia, there is a Female Plumber! She is, by the way, FREAKIN' AWESOME. She is well-dressed, owns a dog with a sweater wardrobe, and can efficiently get your plumbing disasters flushed away. No visual on the butt crack, either. My friend, Mazy Holiday (who one of my sisters swears should be a jazz singer just by her name alone), is the owner of Cascade Plumbing and offers this wonderful missive we all can learn from:

We made it through the winter's freezing pipes and gas logs. Now would be a good time for those of you with houses 40 years or older to think about replacing galvanized water lines with PVC (or copper) . Water line replacement isn't the big deal it sounds like. It can be completed in just one day. The result? Better water pressure, better tasting water, and fewer problems with fixtures.

Everyone's pipes can benefit from an easy maintenance routine of pouring one cup of bleach down every drain once each month!

For more information, please visit Cascade Plumbing's website at http://www.cascadebirmingham.com

Back to me - Mazy and crew have been to my house in the last several weeks to unstop a toilet. They arrived when they said they would and were done in a matter of minutes. Cascade is SO PROFESSIONAL, you'll be swirling with delight.

DIVA STAMP OF APPROVAL.

Gargantuan Gastronomical Graduation Gift Idea

2010-05-08T18:32:00.004-05:00

I am fortunate to have young friends who are in high school (no, not just babysitters - BUT the HS babysitters I have across the street are AWESOME). Sadly, they have a habit of graduating ... as do nieces and nephews (well, the Main Squeeze's are having a long run at graduating in droves lately; my nieces and nephews are elementary school age, of course).

It's time to start graduation gift shopping again now that Mother's Day has rolled around. I really can't bring myself to purchase another set of earrings for a niece (Mary, hope you weren't counting on another pair), so I fired up the ole brain and devised a Diva-ine gift solution that I am compelled to share.

Outside the bars -- because, let's face it, HS graduates are 18 and aren't frequenting bars (ahem!) -- I seem to recall spending time studying in groups and eating when I was in college. So, the idea smacked me upside the well-coiffed head to give gift cards to graduates of near-by restaurants ... or if all else fails, the nearest pizza chain to campus.

Who's gonna' complain about that gift come November when dear old dad's credit card has been mysteriously cancelled???

Spring potting tip

2010-05-04T09:07:00.003-05:00

Hello, Devoted Diva Darlings ! Sorry for my absence here. Despair no more. The Diva Returns with a handy quick tip just in time for planting your annuals and gift-giving for Mother's Day.

Are you repeatedly confounded by those pesky drainage holes in the bottom of clay/terracotta pots? Me too! I am always trying to find a rock or broken pottery just the size to plug most of it, yet despite my best efforts, dirt ALWAYS finds a way to escape. Alas.

I just learned a solution that I'm implementing immediatemente -- use a coffee filter as a liner between the clay pot and your dirt containing your precious petunia (or darling daisy, or ... well, you get my drift).

Tooth Fairy Topics

2009-09-11T11:28:00.002-05:00

My 6 year old has been losing teeth like crazy lately, so we have been having many a discussion on our new favorite unseen diva, the Tooth Fairy.

I didn't realize this was going to cause me to do so very much research, but being the generous spirit that I am, I'll share my findings with you.

1. Word has Tooth Fairy clip art. This has come in mighty handy what with all the note writing. Lordy, the Tooth Fairy is about to qualify for Pen Pal Status around here!

2. The Tooth Fairy is pretty much afraid of guard cats.

3. Her favorite color is pink. She writes her notes in pink ink.

4. If a nightlight isn't left on, she may opt to pass you by.

5. Sometimes the Tooth Fairy leaves things besides money. She has been known to leave books around here.

6. Some children are more sensitive than others to items under their pillows and wake up at 3 AM and when he stumbles across a word in the dark that he doesn't know, he thinks absolutely nothing about scampering down to wake up sleeping parents to decipher words in the DARK!

7. Most websites offering gifts from the Tooth Fairy are useless because they require you to think AHEAD of the time you will actually need a cool Tooth Fairy item. These sites also take FOREVER to ship once you outlay a boatload of cash. I'm not falling for that!

8. Pot-smoking Tree huggers write too many children's books, specifically on the topic of fairies. I have read the schmarmiest crap lately on this topic. I know all of these stupid stories to be completely untrue and unfounded! They're just trying to tap into the lucrative Tooth Fairy market share. Do not be fooled! Everybody in their right Diva minds knows that the Tooth Fairy collects teeth so she can make JEWELRY!!! DUH!!!!

The funniest thing I ran across, though was the letter for an older child. Here's the link: http://dentistry.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=dentistry&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fmonster-island.org%2Ftinashumor%2Fhumor%2Ftfairy.html

Some other decent information can be found at http://www.toothfairyletter.net/

Really, the main lesson grown ups can take from the Tooth Fairy is that childhood can be a magical, fun time for everyone ... only if we believe in the magic and help it happen.

Postcard From the Kitchen

2009-09-02T12:32:00.003-05:00

In living up to my moniker, Birmingham's Domestic Diva, I have been in the kitchen for about 3 weeks now cooking ... mostly sweets. Cooking for school meetings and family events. I'm almost done, but had to share something with you that I found in information from Publix.

Doncha' just hate it when the brown sugar gets stuck together and is about the consistency of a brick? To combat this problem, I have always just microwaved it for about 30 seconds a pop until it became workable again. Well, I found another approach ... which will work if you've got the time. Put the brown brick in a ziplock bag with a damp paper towel and leave it overnight.

Ok, my oven's beeping again. Gotta' run, Pumpkin. Later Gator!

Enough of this Health Care Reform Business, Let's Talk Turtles

2009-07-20T21:14:00.002-05:00

You know, those thingies on tops of SUVs and minivans perched on roof racks. You put luggage in them because your car is packed to the hilt with kids' gaming / DVD equipment to entertain them the whole ride. Side Note: Who ever thought that The Highway Alphabet Game would be labeled as LAME?????

I write this at the suggestion of one of my darling diva sisters, who confided in me tonight, that she is a Turtle Virgin and was totally unsure of how to proceed with such car accessory things. As the big sister, I assured her and even waxed poetic about my soft-sided turtle and bungee cord configuration that allows plenty of legroom in my diva-mobile; admitted, truthfully, that the worst part of the turtle was getting MY suitcase up beyond the tail gate and into the protective coating of my turtle (no animals have been harmed in the filling of my turtle, but I have had to go to the massage therapist afterwards!); and gave her a list of places with automotive departments (I'm not certain she comprendo "automotive department") that would most likely carry these exterior luggage accessories. I even told her that mine was from K-Mart and cost all of about $75! I thought I'd hear the immediate faint tones of high heel shoes clicking towards the garage in a flurry of activity heading for the nearest automotive supply outlet. However, what I got was, "So, do you HAVE to have a roof rack in order to have a turtle?" Um, pretty much. But those, too, can be acquired either by factory installation or accessory add-on places.

I went into the benefits of soft sided (like mine = more flexible, can cram more stuff in them) and the con's = easy for some body builder to abscond with your belongings while stopping at Bate's House of Turkey. The hard sided turtles are basically the flip arguments of the above.

I was a little stunned to find that she had a trailer hitch installed on the back of her SUV ... especially since she's not that into doing her own construction and doesn't own a boat.

There are more options these days with the addition of trailer hitch accessory carriers.

So, dear readers, please weigh in on pros and cons of your turtle experiences. Feel free to post questions to the blog.

Happy motoring, Poodle!

Another Product Rave

2009-06-14T16:35:00.002-05:00

Over the course of writing this blog, I have touted the virtues of several cleaning products, specifically in regards to white baseball pants (insert curse to the man who came up with that idea for little boys here).

Several years ago in Lowe's, I came across a bottle of magic that really, really worked on my white tile and white grout. I know you'll be unfazed to learn that upon my return to Lowe's in search of more, it was no longer carried and the sales associates swore by some other product that was nowhere close to the magical substance.

Taaa-Daaa! I heart the Internet. It occurred to me one sleepless night not too long ago to search for it. Lo and behold! I found it ... and am passing it along to you. It's Finazzle. I love, love, love , love Finazzle White Grout cleaner. And am orbiting to learn that they have more products. PS Are NOT expensive.

I'll share:
http://www.finazzle.com/index.html

Finally, a word about not so many postings lately. My apologies again. It's baseball season and Jack-Jack's team has surprised this hardened baseball mom's initial predictions by actually staying alive in the machine pitch tournament ... helped tremendously by torrents of rain delaying the game for 48 hours and counting.

More Susan the Songbird Musings

2009-04-23T10:07:00.004-05:00

I am still delighted by Susan Boyle and am eagerly anticipating following her via You Tube. Naturally, I clicked on the People.com's teaser about her new look ... because any Susan junkie worth her weight knows that Susan has said she really doesn't want to change her look at all. She, of course, represents all of us with talent who somehow or another have chores that keep us from our blazing singing career. (Side note: Susan cared for her elderly parents. Not that that's necessarily a "chore", it happens to be quite time consuming).

What took me most by surprise is that the British Daily Mail was shocked to see Susan wearing pumps. Hello, boys!!! She was wearing pumps when she auditioned. While they were beige (a totally bland shoe color, Poodle), they were heels. WAKE UP! I noticed. Score her some points for matching her dress (bland, bland beige, but matched). BUT I predict this Song Diva will shortly diva-up her wardrobe. She's a girl with spunk and guts, after all!

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20274069,00.html

To echo Diva Janet's comment to the earlier post, I do hope that Susan comes to realize that plucking eyebrows is just maintenance, not so much a "change".

Dreaming the Dream

2009-04-15T09:48:00.002-05:00

If you haven't seen Susan Boyle's stunning weekend performance on Britain's Got Talent by now, stop everything and take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmbJzH93NU

This frizzy haired middle aged frumpy Scott is the most courageous person I have ever heard of. She had absolutely no reason to take this leap and audition in Glasgow for the show ... except she simply had nothing to lose. And look what she has gained!! Respect ... from all over the world.

Susan, you are a Diva!! I knew from the moment I saw your shoes as you walked on stage that you were a spunky girl! Your smile is radiant. I look forward to watching your transformation into the Gorgeous Creature you are destined to be. You are the celebrity that I want to watch!!! Eagerly tuning in ...
XOXO
The Main Dish

I have a theory

2009-04-02T19:15:00.002-05:00

What if we're not really in an economic crisis? What if everyone's on Facebook and not getting their work done? Like, all across the globe. I think it's plausible. Thoughts?

Delicious Diva Gift Giving

2009-03-24T19:47:00.003-05:00

I am compelled to share with you that DivAnn gave me such a wonderful birthday treat several weeks ago. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. She gave this diva CHOCOLATE BON-BONs as a birthday token. I must tell you ... it is so much easier to swallow a birthday when you have a bon-bon chaser.

Any other fantastic gift ideas you have gotten/given lately? Please share with the group. XOXO

Luckily, the Irish like to Party

2009-03-04T09:33:00.006-06:00

Parties have been coming at me full force these days (wedding, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a surprise birthday party compliments of The Main Squeeze and Katherine), so I've made a vow to be more proactive ... and be the one talking about and planning parties, therefore righting the universe back where it belongs. St. Patty's Day is next and I do love me some Irish partyin', Me Prince/ss, so I've come up with pure gold for you to get you started on your St. P's Par-tay.

If you're going all formal, start with the invitation. But seriously, how serious can you take a St. Patrick's Day party? It's all about green and beer - that's not a slight in any way, just the part that needs to be embraced. So, how about making new beer labels that you put on a beer bottle and deliver (cold, of course) to your intended guests. How fun is that?! Variations on this idea are handing out beer mugs with info inside (and bring the mug to the party to fill with green beer! You can find inexpensive mugs or frosted mugs at K-Mart) or shot glasses. Evites are my latest preferred mode of inviting folks and they have great Irish themes (http://www.evite.com/).

For decorations, you really don't have to do terribly much as your guests will be drinking and eventually won't care or remember what your decorations were. I suggest green and white balloons and fresh clover (available at supermarkets). I have noticed at the Dollar Store while picking up items for a child's school project that there are tons of things, including large felt Leprechaun hats in assorted varieties. If you want to get a little fancier, I suggest decorating with fresh flowers such as daisies, Bells of Ireland, Emerald Roses, white tulips, or white daffodils. Very shi-shi!

Your soon-to-be -intoxicated bunch need some sustenance, because as much as some people would like to think, you really can't live on beer alone (at least after college). I suggest nibbles and a meal to off-set the alcohol absorption. Start with green M&M's (won't you be the talk?!), guacamole, sugar cookies complete with green food coloring, and cupcakes with green and white icing.

Yet, we professionals realize that finger foods/ bar food doesn't do nearly as much as pure MEAT to absorb alcohol. To that end, I suggest a slow-cooked meat item you and your guests will adore. Please note this is NOT a last minute throw together as the meat must cook forever (but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT!).

Corned Beef and Cabbage
6 carrots, sliced (or baby carrots, but please use more than 6)
2 onions, chopped
2-3 lbs. corned beef brisket with seasoning
2 garlic cloves, minced (reduce if there is a lot of garlic in the seasoning pack that usually comes with the c.b. brisket)
a can of beer (See, your theme is in the meat!)
2 Tbsp. yellow mustard (you can use brown mustard, but it could compete with the seasonings that accompany the meat)
1/4 C. brown sugar
1 C. chicken stock
8 wedges of cabbage

Layer the veggies in the bottom of a 4-6 quart crock pot. Rinse the brisket under cold water. Dry with paper towels. Place meat in crock pot and cover with seasoning. Pour beer over, followed by a good mustard coating. In a separate bowl, combine brown sugar and water; then pour it over the brisket. Cover and cook on low for 11-12 hours. Remove meat and wrap in aluminum foil to keep it warm. Add cabbage wedges to the liquid and cook for about 30 minutes.

I suggest serving potatoes and apples as side dishes. Oh, and salad makes a great green side dish as well!

Besides your green and white frosted cupcakes, for the occasion of St. Patrick's Day, I suggest having a luscious dessert beverage .... Irish Cream, but of course!
1 C. light cream
1 14 oz. can Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk
1 2/3 C Irish Whiskey
1 tsp. Instant coffee (!)
2 Tbsp. Hershey's chocolate syrup
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. almond extract

Combine all ingredients in a blender on high for about 30 seconds. Bottle and refrigerate. This will keep for a few months ... like it will last that long!

Busy Pumpkin, please note that these two centerpieces of your party use only two appliances/pots for cooking. Love that the clean up is minimal!

Your guests will think they've been transported to Glocca Mora after this scrumptious party and feast!

Wishing you much luck, my little Clover!

Trapped in a Cleaning Frenzy

2009-01-02T14:09:00.002-06:00

I'm starting the New Year's off in my kids' closets. So far, it's been a Yard Bag of trash and a Yard Bag of donations per room. I haven't even gotten to my closet yet.... And the tree is still up... er ... all 4 trees are still up. The upshot of having Critically Ill Main Squeeze before Thanksgiving is that the live tree is still moist due to the fact that we acquired it later than usual. Silver linings abound.

Oh! And The Main Squeeze got his PICC line out before Christmas, so he is merry, hence so am I.

Regards from the battlefront, Poodle!

Christmas Hints

2008-12-05T15:07:00.002-06:00

Please feel free to look back to my Christmas postings from last year ... as I have been remiss a lot lately in my posting (excuses are: wedding that was beyond a nightmare due to Critically Ill Main Squeeze and the ensuing recovery and ensuing sinus infection that is raging behind my face). Nonetheless, I'm still thinking of you, my Sweet Poodle! And I had to pop in for a moment to share this reinforcement with you.

I have said for years on the radio and in person and in writing that men want the gift of gadget for Christmas (that, and lovin', but I digress). It is a tragic mistake for men to assume that their lovely diva wants the same type thing. Really, resist that thought pattern with all your might. I submit for your viewing pleasure the attached, which I can only hope was inspired by my lectures on this topic.

http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=5e32d548

Gentlemen, please take notes.

Alas, I must retire now to my steaming cup of whatever it is I cannot taste.

XOXO
Marjorie the Married Main Dish

Mental Note: Resist Spaghetti Day at Your Kid's Elementary School

2008-11-15T04:48:00.006-06:00

When we moms get busy, we start to feel guilty about not paying enough attention to our kiddos. Personal reference: impending wedding (next week), heavy work load, normal never-ending amounts of laundry, etc. PLUS a child's birthday this week. So, one of our coping mechanisms to make our tots feel the mommy love is to go have lunch at the school when you can squeeze it into your mid-morning routine (yes, they eat lunch very early, which is why the afternoon snack is an essential MEAL).

I blatantly disregarded the lunch menu and was relieved that I could not only squeeze in lunch with one child, but both. Mine have the fortune of eating at 10:45 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., so I can get a visitor's pass and hang in the lunchroom for about 45 minutes and make BOTH boys feel like a million bucks. Sounds like the end of a little guilt, no?

So, it was Spaghetti Day. Let me just explain in as few words as possible how disgusting spaghetti + Kindergartners equals. I went to stand in line to get the unknown meal and my eyes rested on short noodles of spaghetti. I realized it was 10:45 and I was looking at spaghetti and felt terribly woozy. I managed to pass on lunch somehow and decided I'd just sit with the child(ren) and enjoy their precious company.

Once I got to the table with the Kindergarten class, the situation worsened. Despite wiping their faces kind of, the kids all took on an orange pallor. One kid I sat next to (not mine, thank God!), managed to get a small amount of sauce on his right ear (the side next to me, naturally). I thought at least twice I was about to have to run for a breath of fresh air.

Those sweet peas kept asking me if they could get me some iced tea. Really, I just couldn't imagine swallowing anything at that juncture. I must have looked a little green ... which certainly would have clashed with their bright, smiling, orange faces

Mercifully, their lunch time ended. When the 3 helpers in the class came to wipe down the tables, I had to flee. Really couldn't take that.

Nowhere was safe, though. I went to the second grade child's class table. Interesting dynamic in second grade: The girls realize that the boys eating habits leave a lot to be desired and split to the extent they're allowed what with the rule being that they HAVE to all sit as a class in a line of about 4 tables. There were 2 girls on one far end of the outermost table, 5 or so boys in the middle table (mine in the middle of this 3-ring circus, of course) lined up on one side so they have to lean over each other's food to talk to the ones on the outer edges, and the teacher and about 6 other children (notably the remaining girls) at the other far end table. Not catching on quickly and ever-hopeful that second grade would be less gross, I sat across from my child, who, again, was in the middle of the pack of boys .... ahem ... eating his green beans with his fingers. What a proud moment that was for me. Had it been night, I would have run out into it screaming my lungs out. Alas, it was not even noon.

The only improvement - and believe me, it was an improvement - was that their faces all seemed to have relatively normal tones. A small mercy.

While I managed to survive, I simply cannot close my eyes to sleep because Spaghetti Day at Elementary School flashes before me and my legs wobble and the rest of me feels totally shaky.

Please pass the Ambien.

It's Pumpkin Time, Pumpkin!

2008-10-13T21:11:00.002-05:00

I know! I just LOVE pumpkins! And I use the word ... well .... liberally. They're just the most amazing things. The name is just so cute, n'est pas?

I promise to do more posting, Pumpkin. My topic will be Pumpkins. I apologize for the lapse in postings. It's just I'm about to get married to The Main Squeeze (SQUEAL!!!! IN A FEW WEEKS!!!!!!) and on top of all my work, the boys' soccer and fall baseball schedules, and my singing rehearsals (concert on Sunday), I've been a little remiss. My profuse apo-la-la-logies.

But it is fall and I do have a lot of info on pumpkins. I promise to share over the next few days.

XOXO~ MTMD

Sarah theme continued

2008-09-24T15:27:00.003-05:00

Frankly, I don't know what it is, but I just can't stop with the Sarah Palin topics. Oh well, here's another one for your perusal, Poodle.

SPECIAL ALERT: Californians Turned Off By Wine With Remarkably Similar Name to a VEEP Hopeful

Is this news? I'm leaning towards "entertainment", which is the only reason I go anywhere close to politics.

Diva WineKnow put me on to this topic. Made me laugh. Check out this article on Fox.
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/24/palin-syrah-wine-drinkers-balk-at-a-chilean-wine-with-hints-of-alaska/

I'm just moosin' with ya

2008-09-23T08:24:00.004-05:00

In the case that moose suddenly becomes a trendy meat item what with the intrigue from Sarah Palin, I serve up some solutions that hopefully will put you on the cutting edge of cuisine. Again, should this take off across the nation like her unprezidented (tee, hee) stardom has.

Of course, moose don't roam around Alabama, which is good because some places have their hands full with deer. You may be relieved to know that your favorite venison dish can be prepared with moose meat as a substitute. In case you don't have venison recipes, I offer some moose meat recipes for your digestion.

Moose Stroganoff
1 1/2 lbs moose sirloin steak (cut in 1/2" strips) 3 tablespoons oil
1/2 cup flour, plus 2 tablespoons flour 1tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt 1 cup beef broth
1/2 lb mushrooms, chopped 1 cup sour cream
2 small onions, chopped 1 clove garlic
Roll meat in 1/4 cup flour and salt. Saute garlic, onions and mushrooms in oil for 5 minutes. Add meat and brown. Remove meat, mushrooms and onions from pan. Add remaining flour to drippings in pan. Add Worcestershire and broth. Cook until thickened. Add sour cream. Heat until gravy simmers. Add cooked moose and vegetables and reheat. Serve over noodles or rice.

I'm starting to crave a Nordic vacation after reading that one. Let's head south and warm up. 'Cause nothing says "authentic moose recipe" quite like ........

Mexican Moose Casserole
1 1/2 lbs. ground moose 1/2 Cup water
1 pkg. soft tortillas 1/2 Cup mushrooms
1 (10 oz.) can enchilada sauce 1/4 Cup sliced black olives
1 can tomatoes 1/2 lb. grated cheddar cheese
Brown meat and spread evenly in bottom of baking dish. Tear up tortillas and place over meat. Pour enchilada sauce, tomatoes and soup over tortillas in layers. Sprinkle cheese on top and refrigerate overnight. Bake 45 minutes at 300 degrees, covered. Remove and brown.

These don't do it for you??? Relax, Poodle. You can also use your favorite meatloaf recipe featuring your fresh ground moose or use ground moose as the twist on your next hamburger.

Off to pick up my new eyeglasses.

OK, This is better than that grocery store crap

2008-09-12T12:34:00.004-05:00

Inspired by a posting by Cardiac Diva.

Here's a suggestion on how to pass some time watching the hurricane coverage over the next 24 hours. For those of you who don't hear me on the radio, from time to time, I advocate drinking games during coverage of national events to make them much, much more interesting (I'm not about to be branded PC, so why pretend?). I believe these can work for those purposes. If you prefer to lessen the mixing of alcohol, I suggest an alternate game could be that any time you hear the phrases that are the name of these drinks, swill your beverage of choice. You can actually order these drinks in New Orleans at St. Charles Tavern.

MANDATORY EVACUATION
1 1/2 oz. Absolut Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
ClamatoPrune juice
Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose ficus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof-- even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it--if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.

CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice
Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone
Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Weather Channel StormTracker Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (They should change this to the "Cantore Zone"... damn him.) Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?

FEEDER BAND
2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.

BEACH EROSION
1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw
Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to New Jersey where it belongs.

DOWNED POWER LINE
1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola
Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.

FLOOD ZONE
2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish Cream
4 oz. rum
Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop. (Get it? There's a little math involved, Pumpkin!)

LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
1 oz. Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt
Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his ass with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.

I don't know about you, but thanks to Cardiac Diva, I'm going to be a lot more relaxed while watching hurricane coverage from now on!

Grocery Shopping Strategies

2008-09-12T12:05:00.002-05:00

I've got food on the brain ... and an empty stomach and 'fridge, so I'll write about it instead of eating (yeah, that'll work).

I recently read where the average American buys groceries twice a week. Are You Serious?!?!? Are you like me and don't really love the grocery store? It's not bad, it just takes a lot longer than I feel like it should and that's my basic beef with it. Not a quick thing -- so, maybe that's why people go twice a week and make 2 quick trips. Not efficient, Cupcake.

The price of food, along with everything else, is going up. Brace for your grocery bill to rise 4-5% this year compared to last year. What can we do to make sure we get the best bang for our grocery buck? Here are some of the things I do:

Clip coupons ... but only the ones you already buy.
Make out your menu list for the week before heading to the store. This way, you won't have to make that quick trip later on to pick up that one item because you will list all ingredients needed for your meals when making your shopping list.
The Main Squeeze, an efficiency expert, was impressed when he discovered I listed needed groceries working from the south end of the store to the north end. When I run out of frozen waffles, for example, I write it down on the bottom portion of the list because it's on the north end of the store (and I get the frozen stuff last so it won't melt in the heat).
The less expensive meats are poultry.
Freeze meats that you're not using within a day or two, especially when they've been marked down because stores typically do this on the last date of sale before expiration.
Did you know that store brands are typically 15-20% cheaper than national brands? Noodle that one.

I'd love to hear your grocery shopping tips. Share with the group.

My New Favorite Grill Item

2008-09-09T20:58:00.004-05:00

Cupcake, you know how I love all things grilling. Well, I've run across this amazing gadget that is simply a must-have item. And the price is beyond excellent. Williams Sonoma (don't you just Love that store?!) has come out with a mesh pan, like the ones used in the Basque region. You remember, that tiny, tiny area between Spain and France. They're really nationalistic and don't want to belong to either of those countries. Anyway, one of the great things they've added to cuisine is cooking in innovative cookware over the grill. (Photo source: williams-sonoma.com)

When one grills in a mesh pan, several amazing benefits spring to mind:

1. No more sticking to the grill with that fun, fun subsequent scrubbing and burning off stuck-on food.

2. You can soak the mesh pan in a wonderful device known as your kitchen sink to get it really clean

3. The mesh pan allows the food to cook without adding oil to the veggies, which is important to those of us watching our fat intake and who have been advised not to hand-pour olive oil while cooking (yes, this from my Italian-origin trainer -- more on that sacrilege another day, Poodle).

4. If you use chips in your fire to enhance the flavor, your veggies really absorb it better in the grill pan

5. You can slice up the items in your grill pan smaller than you'd be able to do otherwise on your grill

Check it out on http://www.williams-sonoma.com/. Let me know what you think.

Oh! And sorry for the absence. I'm cooking up something else and will reveal it soon enough, but it's taking up a lot of my time right now. Miss you, Strudel!

Hot, Hot Olympic Merchandise

2008-08-20T09:40:00.005-05:00

You know that people collect hats, pins, and t-shirts commemorating the Olympic games. Then there's the good old American ingenuity inspired by love of sport, great competition or just a crazy name that gets products churning out. But, please, please don't discount the effect that hottie male swimmers have on the American female home viewer. I have refined diva girlfriends who are almost in cat fights over Michael Phelps being their next boyfriend. I've overheard other girlfriends talk about how they think that swimsuit is just going to peel every so slightly to reveal the plumber crack and giggling about it. They are all in phases of depression now that swimming is over. PS I'm laughing at all of you.

Anyway, here is a delightful product that was sent this morning for my perusal (thanks, Allen!). I am compelled to share it because it just makes me laugh even harder.

Should you need to acquire this immediatemente, I understand it's available at The Hotness Factory. Google it. I can't look it up,

'cause the tree removal dude finally showed up to take down my gigantic, totally dead oak tree. Must run.

Toodles~

American Idol Auditions today and a diva pal is there

2008-08-13T08:23:00.003-05:00

Just want to let you know that Diva pal, Katie Jones is in Jacksonville, FL at this very moment and will audition sometime today for American Idol. Katie is very talented!! Ruben Studdard's manager has heard her sing earlier this spring and was very encouraging about her pursuing a music career. The manager, though, doesn't know that Katie is auditioning for 'Idol' - not that it matters one whit, just thought it was an interesting side note :).

Wouldn't it be SO GREAT to have another Birmingham 'Idol' contestant??? And to have a DIVA on 'Idol'??? I have already promised Katie that if she goes to LA, I'm flying out to be in her posse.

I'm SO PROUD of her following her dream. Katie told me that she has wanted to audition for years, but always came up with an excuse not to. She's there today because she ran out of excuses. When are you going to run out of your excuses and go do something adventurous? You'll only regret not trying.

GO, KATIE!! SING YOUR HEART OUT, DIVA!!! And please dish with us here when you get back home. I for one can't wait for news!!!!!!! XOXO

School Supplies for MOM

2008-08-12T13:16:00.002-05:00

No, I'm not going back to school. My liver couldn't take it, Poodle. However, the start of the school year is a great time for you to organize your household. I've talked in prior posts about the endless ambush of school papers coming home in those deadly backpacks, but golly PETE, they're relentless and will absolutely destroy your counter tops if you don't take preventative action.

Some of you may really like to file things. I like the concept, except for when it's in a nice drawer, it's all of a sudden out of sight, out of mind. And that's not so good when school items have to be returned by a certain date or your kid turns into the loser who can't go on the field trip because mom neatly filed the permission slip that's lounging one more day in its climate-controlled, dark drawer.

So, how do I get the 'You're such an on-top-of it Mom' praise from the teachers? (I admit to striving for the Pet Mom designation.) I return items the very next day with a little help from my Mom School Supplies.

Mom School Supply List:
1 colorful calendar for the fridge (I use themes every year. Sometimes we learn about a country, activity, etc - I know, I'm waaaay into themes- but I plan parties as part of my living, and it just spills over into other areas of my life). Mark school holidays and birthdays immediately. Write due dates of everything. Include sport activities for each child. This is now the brain of the household.

1-2 clip-type magnets to hold said calendar on the fridge (they get heavy and slide down to the floor otherwise). If you post the calendar on a Bulletin Board, you don't need magnets, but may need push pins. Some folks like the dry erase board message center, but the dust from those things stain floors and makes a mess in my experience. But suit yourself.

1 diva-inspired 1" binder with pockets. This is your HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT BINDER. You are too glamorous for a plain one, Princess. Mine has a blue leopard print on it. It's fabulous. Some days, it helps to have a fabulous binder with mundane topics in it to inspire you to open it.

A hole puncher. I have a skinny one that fits flat and has ring loops for the binder, which is great because I don't have to run upstairs to my office to grab the big hole punch.

Color coordinating (if possible, otherwise, just colorful) tabs. My tabs are as follows:
~ School for general information, medication forms (keep clean and make copies), summer reading lists, Progress reports or daily reports, etc.
~ Room Parent Information if you're the Room Mom (I'm not this year, I'm pleased to report). One suggestion if you are the room mom, get one or two other co-room-parents if possible so that if someone is out of town, in a meeting, has a sick child, there's more than one person to fill the job. This tab is especially helpful for school carnival or fundraiser information/lists as well as for how to contact parents in the classroom.
~ A tab for each sport/after-school activity that your kid/s participate in. I keep team rosters for years because some of the kids don't go to the same school and inevitably, one child wants a teammate to come to a birthday party and if I've thrown out the list, I can't look up the dad's name to find the child in the phone book. You know... Basic Nightmare.
~ A tab for summer activities so I can refresh my memory in say March when Junior is bugging the stew out of me at Spring Break and I yearn for ways to get him out of the house for an extended period of time
~ A tab for birthday party organization per child as well as a record of what the birthday present was for the child
~ A tab for Christmas gifts so I can make lists for the whole family ... and I never throw the lists out so I won't duplicate presents.
~ In the front pocket, I keep the most recent school directory and some adorable pre-printed Note To The Teacher forms so I can just check off a box.
~ In the back pocket, is a legal pad for notes. I use it a lot.

Cute sticky notes/little note pads, 'cause I love them a lot. I have sticky notes with my company name on them, and then the fun stuff like in the shape of a purse, with shoes printed on them, leopard print, etc. I just picked up the purse-shaped ones at Target for $1 last week. It's my current fave!

Colorful envelopes for sending money in for lunch, PTO dues, field trips, donations to the school library, and whatever endless items I have to send continual checks to the school for. I have noticed that these don't get misplaced like the plain ones do (I happen to be out of them right now and I just got an email that said the PTO didn't get my check, which I DID send BTW but in a plain white A-10 envelope, so see, it pays to have the colorful ones!)

Paper clips. I have an unexplained attachment to binder clips. I just LOVE them a lot. Especially the little bitty ones. They're so cute. But, I do love having everything together. Those backpacks are a black hole. If you paperclip your bright envelope with the check on to the form, there is less chance either piece will wind up in the unknown mystery area where socks disappear to when you put them in the dryer and they never return. Have you noticed that parallel universe between backpacks and clothes dryers, too? Or is it just me?

Any needed pens, pencils, etc.

I'm a To Do list person, so I need a colorful array of legal pads and spiral bound notebooks. These may not be essential for you.

As a management side note, I also have binders for each volunteer activity I do (church committee, each of my singing groups, Junior League, etc.) as well as any special projects I have going on (home decoration ideas I tear out of magazines, for example).

Well, Cupcake, I hope this helps get you organized to respond to this school year and that you, too, can strive for Pet Mom status. If you have any tips that work for you, please post to the blog. I'd la-la-love to add to my repertoire. XOXO

From my cousin, Diva Eyes

2008-08-07T11:57:00.000-05:00

It’s Children’s Eye Health and Safety Month! Many eye care providers are offering great discounts on children’s eye exams. Have you had your child’s vision checked? DO IT! 80% of learning in children is done visually.

Paris for Prez in Pradas?

2008-08-05T18:58:00.002-05:00

You have got to see this. And I have got to figure out why I can't get this to run on the blog site. Maybe too big??? Anywho, click on this and go to the video. While I'm not a Paris fan (person or city), I do like a girl with a sense of humor.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/webscout/2008/08/paris-hilton-re.html

Quick Tip: School Supplies

2008-07-30T12:01:00.003-05:00

Have you noticed that the school supply lists are getting LONGER AND LONGER???? I have! Another thing I've noticed is that the closer one gets to the school start dates, the more likely places run out of very necessary supplies ... like construction paper (!). Why does a 2nd grader need construction paper? I get it for the kindergartner, but seriously. I digress.

You know who doesn't run out of school supplies? On-line places like Officedepot.com, Officemax.com, and Staples.com. When your order's big enough, they'll comp the shipping and save you a trip up and down and back again through their aisles. Noodle it, GlamourMom!

On Vacation

2008-07-18T15:31:00.002-05:00

Wish you were here, Poodle. XOXO Marjorie TMD

You can't make this stuff up!

2008-07-14T11:41:00.006-05:00

Here's the latest antics from my former radio show hosts, Richard Dixon and J. Willoughby. Just goest to show a diva never knows who she'll find she knows when browsing the AP wire reports! I know these guys. Trust me. They'll go through with it, too!

Dad Sells Baby's Name for $100 Gas Card
AP
Posted: 2008-07-12 16:10:34
Photo credit: Jacob Langston, Orlando Sentinel

ORLANDO, Fla. (July 12) - An Orlando man has traded the naming rights to his unborn son for a $100 gas card. David Partin recently heard that a local radio station was giving $100 worth of free gas to the listener who called in with the most interesting item to trade. Central Florida radio hosts Richard Dixon and J. Willoughby were quick to take Partin up on his offer, The Orlando Sentinel reports.

David Partin, posing with his pregnant girlfriend Samantha Bailey, agreed to sell the rights to his unborn boy's name to a Orlando radio station for a $100 gas card. Two morning show hosts plan to name the baby after themselves, "Dixon and Willoughby."

When the baby is born this winter, he will be named Dixon and Willoughby Partin — with the "and" included. Partin's girlfriend, Samantha, says at least her son will have an interesting story about how he got his name. Dixon and Willoughby plan to be at the hospital when the baby is born and will hand over the gas card when they see the official birth certificate.

Strategic Make Up Tips

2008-07-08T20:38:00.007-05:00

I wish I had a quarter for every time someone calls me up and starts a conversation with, "Since you're The Diva, I just know you will have the answer to my dilemma." Oh, the pressure. This happens more than once a week. Not counting the emails, either.

So, tonight, I was home cleaning up home-made pizza splatter when a dear friend calls with that opening. Seems a friend (and in this case, I know it's not her disguising herself as a "friend") is going through a divorce, had a wild evening last night, and the fellow she was with insisted upon leaving his ... ahem ... mark ... er ... make that plural ... on her neck. She wears some type of uniform to work, so the scarf in July is completely out of the question. She needs on-the-spot solution, so to speak.

Frighteningly, I did not miss a beat. I did know just what to say. Now, on the off-chance my mother is reading this, I for the record haven't had this affliction since college. Personally, I find it tacky, but nobody asked me.

Anywho, the primary concern is to determine the color. She said it was purple. I had to again scientifically clarify: red-purple or blue-purple? There is a HUGE difference. In this case, it was red-purple. (NOTE: The victim is caucasian with very fair skin)

Once the coloration is determined, hie thee prontissimo to the nearest CVS to the Physician's Formula make-up section. Other brands may do, but I have it on great authority for the price, this stuff can't be beat. You will purchase 2-3 products.
1. The great and wonderful green cover-up. That totally tones down the red. Of course, there's another step, cause you just can't go out with green splotches - that's as bad as the root of the problem.
2. The double-sided yellow (one side)/beige (other side) liquid concealer that conveniently sometimes comes in one package wherein the double-sided wand screws (cough, cough) into each color. Do you get the visual? Sometimes these must be purchased individually due to stocking issues. The beige is good to cover the green.
SIDE NOTE: This make-up one-two punch also works wonders on blemishes.
SHOULD your problem be the blue-purple persuasion, skip the green stuff and go straight for the yellow concealer and glop it on, girl.
3. Liquid foundation (if you don't have any already).

Scurry home and see if this works. If so, you're good to go. If not, hop back in your car and find stage make-up ... specifically foundation in a stick if at all possible. Mine is the width of a quarter at the opening. This stuff is THICK and will cover anything, especially on top of the green stuff followed by concealer. While it makes me break out if I wear it too long, I think in this particular case, a break out wouldn't be so bad, n'est pas?!

One of my Latina-heritage cha-cha divas advises me that someone in this predicament should also spread the skin apart with fingers as tautly as possible, take a quarter and apply it to the devastated area, "much like rubbing butter on toast, only much, much harder". This, according to ella, makes the broken blood vessels and blood scurry from whence it came. Ella cautions that this will REALLY HURT. Follow immediately with lots of ice applied to the area, Poodle. (Can you just skip the rubbing part and go straight to the ice??? I wonder.)

I would la-la-love to hear your suggestions, Princess, so do comment by tapping the "comments" below to the right and pouring your heart out. It could help a diva in distress. You know, for the good of the group and all .... TOODLES!!!!

Sick of your kids yet??? Pack 'em off to camp pronto

2008-07-06T13:26:00.005-05:00

It's not too late. Several camps have openings ... starting tomorrow morning. Here's the news release I wrote (I'm the spokesperson, so I can do this kinda' thing):

It’s not too late to get your child off the couch and save the summer from boredom and unending trips to the swimming pool. A few Alabama camps have spaces for children at their camps.

“Parents may think they are out of luck by this point in the summer, but the reality is that camps across the state do have openings for campers,” says Marjorie Davis, spokesperson for the Association of Alabama Camps. “Camps have wonderful activities for children designed to get them active before the school bell rings,” she continues.

Some of the most popular activities at camp this year include traditional favorites such as horse-back riding, riflery, swimming, and tennis. “Children at camp certainly don’t complain about being bored because they’re too busy having fun and engaging in exciting activities designed for age and ability,” says Davis. “In addition to the activities typically associated with summer camp, kids this summer are flying through the air on zip lines, climbing bouldering walls, and jumping into lakes on inflatables called Blobs. There’s not a bored face in sight.”

The Association of Alabama Camps represents more than 90 summer camps across the state of Alabama. This year, camps in Alabama will serve an estimated 250,000 people.

Here's who's got spots and when:
Camp Skyline for Girls, Mentone AL
July 6-18
July 20-August 1
Contact www.campskyline.com, call 1-800-448-9279 or email info@campskyline.com

Camp Cosby (YMCA) Alpine (Lake Martin), AL
July 6-11
July 13-18
July 20-25
July 27-August 1
August 3-8
Contact wmcclain@campcosby.org, www.campcosby.org

Marannook Camp (boys and girls), LaFayette, AL
July 20-25
July 27-August 1
Contact www.marannook.org or marannook@mindspring.com

Lookout Mountain Camp for Boys (ages 7-15), Mentone, AL
July 6-18
July 20-August 2
July 6-August 2
Contact www.lookoutmountaincamp.com or call (256) 634-4758

Camp Mac (boys and girls), Talladega National Forest, AL
July 14-August 9
Contact www.campmac.com, office@capmmac.com, or (256) 362-7449

Riverview Camp for Girls, Mentone, AL
July 6-18
July 20-25
July 20- August 1
Go to www.riverviewcamp.com for immediate registration or 800-882-0722 for questions

Camp Coleman (Girl Scouts), Trussville, AL
All remaining sessions through July 25
Day camp accepts boys and girls
Contact the registrar by calling 1-800-734-4541. Camper does not have to be a Girl Scout to attend camp.

Kanawahala Program Center (Girl Scouts), Dunnavant, AL
All remaining sessions through July 25
Contact the registrar by calling 1-800-734-4541. Camper does not have to be a Girl Scout to attend camp.

The available slots were reported to the AAC as of 7/2/08 and are subject change. Please contact individual camp for age, availability, payment arrangements, and other questions.

Grill Grabbers for July 4th

2008-06-29T12:59:00.006-05:00

July 4th is Friday. Wondering what to prepare for an entertaining and delicious summer side? I suggest two foods that you may not think to throw on Barbie that make a wonderful summer splash and are are SO EASY to draw rave reviews.

Grilled Corn on the Cob
Despite the convenience and fast turn around of my dad's preferred corn-cooking method, the microwave, I like to grill corn. It's easy and fun to do. Fire Barbie to high and pull back the leaves to make handles. I like to tie the leaves with butcher's string or in a pinch, dental floss. Remove the silk, of course. You can throw the corn on to the grill like this, no problem-0. But I like to brush on quasi-melted butter infused with minced garlic and chopped cilantro or basil. It's just a little fancier with that little flair. Brush, cook, and rotate for about 10 minutes or so depending on the size of the corn. A trick is to keep the leaves from the flame. Once your corn is grilled, you can eat with the handy handles still tied up OR you can break the cob in half and slice off the kernels to use in a salsa or salad.

Grilled Peaches
Don't forget to grill fruit for an outstanding ovation, Mon Chef! My boys' current fave is grilled peaches. It tastes like peach pie with out the crust. They can't believe that I serve them this sweet-tasting delicacy with their meal and don't save it for dessert. You can do either one and you'll score major points with kids and grown-ups alike! Simply cut the peach into halves and remove the seed. I say "simply" because most people can do this without difficulty. However, I encountered peaches last Sunday that weren't exactly the ripest; I just couldn't get them sliced into halves very well. OK, I butchered them. Sigh, "Slaughtered" is more appropriate. Skewers saved the day! Either way, grill the peaches until you get those nifty grill marks on them (shorter cooking time for the sliced-to-bits variety than the perfectly sliced halves).

Serving options are abundant for grilled peaches. Most of the time, I serve them as a side because I'm time-crunched with STARVING children who currently are eating me out of house and home due to full-blast summer activities. Other suggestions I highly recommend include:
~ Serving for dessert with a scoop of ice cream on top of a grilled half OR a butchered peach as topping on the scoop of ice cream. Either choice makes a pretty and unexpected presentation.
~ Chop up the slaughtered grilled peach even further and make a salsa with your grilled corn to put on top of grilled fish. Add diced avocado, mango, and papaya mixed with a little lemon juice, garlic, and chopped cilantro and your fruit chutney with corn makes a colorful and delicious topping to please the eye and stomach.

Any grilled fruit or veggie you'd like to suggest? I'd love to hear about it, so post your fave by clicking that envelope picture below to the right. Happy Independence Day, Divas and Dudes!

Libation Celebration

2008-06-16T14:54:00.006-05:00

As you may imagine, I embrace all things harmlessly fun. In that vein, I bring you what I have discovered lately in my personal search to take beer places they're not generally seen --specifically children's baseball tournaments. Let me just tell you how a mother needs a beer in a lightning storm with children bouncing out of boredom when ordered by umpires to the car for the 5th time in one inning. A diva just HATES to leave her beer unattended to warm without her when the game resumes ... only to be sent back to the car 15 minutes later. I bring you my latest adorable finds. I was specifically searching for beer can-o-flage when I stumbled on other options. Cupcake, these are must-haves and would make wonderful stocking stuffers for that adorable alcoholic in your life!

For $14, you can have this attractive puppy monogrammed for that personal flair. Please note the camo for that outrageous man in your life. None of that polka-dot @#$ for him! There are more selections, so check out http://www.thepinkmonogram.com/ for these coozies designed for the "taller beer cans, sports drink bottles, and baby bottles". I can't stop laughing!!!!

Now, for the serious public place closet beer drinker, these lovely reusable labels can be found on several Internet sites. Search "beer wraps" or "canoflage". Prices range from $5.89 to $12.00 for 4 different wraps. Might as well bulk order because the shipping is generally outrageous. But, hey, these are hilarious. And you can go to that music concert with open container proudly displayed, albeit hidden.

Cheers, my devilish Pixie!!!

Ball field Accoutrements

2008-06-12T13:33:00.002-05:00

One of the bleacher moms told me yesterday before the electrical storm and ensuing downpour that I should post a list of everything I bring to the ball field so that my player and his cheering entourage can enjoy the game.
1. An umbrella, which inevitably gets left in the car.
2. A cooler with pre-frozen Gatorade and water bottles (you not only keep the cooler cooler, but the player gets the frozen drink in the dug-out and it stays colder longer OR he enjoys a slushie); a baggie with moistened wash cloths; bug spray (refreshing when you spray on chilled bug spray!); 45 sunscreen (ditto); drinks for the child's cheering section; sliced fruit; and ice in a baggie for injuries. I take a bigger cooler if we are enjoying a double-header in the oven.
3. Lots of napkins and paper towels
4. A stadium chair
5. At least 1 baseball for little brother's entertainment
6. A bag in addition to my purse. Mental note: need to condense this into one item. In the bag are snacks, chips - basically energy junk food that won't melt in the heat, little brother's glove, my glove (little brother has a rocket for an arm), tons of napkins, wet ones (usually gets left in the car), eye black stuff, face stick of sunscreen (I swear by that stuff with sweaty boys), and anything else I can't carry.

The Main Dish does a lovely pack mule imitation. Glamour abounds at the ball field. But, of course, I wear a floppy hat so as to ensure the diva-look.

Feel free to use these tips at your picnic or other outdoor activity in the oven.
Stay cool!

Tip Toe Shape

2008-06-06T11:41:00.004-05:00

Cupcake, it's starting to heat up outside. It's time to put your toes out in cute sandals. Ooh! I just love shoes! However, don't blow the look by sporting ugly feet in snazzy footwear. What a buzz kill!

Now I know what you're thinking, "Darling Dish, I don't have time or money (do you KNOW what summer camp activities cost for kids? or how long a diva drives daily to get those kids out of my hair? YES, I do) to run off for a weekly pedicure!" No sweat. Here are some diva-licious home pedi tips so you can look your tip toe best!

1. Remove old nail polish completely.

2. With high quality clippers (invest in new ones every 2 years, I say), trim the toenail so as to not let the toenail hang over your toe. That's a toe-pas! (giggle: instead of faux pas! Couldn't resist it!)

3. For a square toe shape, file the corners of your nail in one direction using an emory board (metal files tear your nail, Princess!). Remember, the coarse surface shortens the nail; the smoother surface smooths the nail edge.

4. Soak those tired puppies. Use a large, flat-bottom bowl or equivalent with warm water to cover your feet completely. Add bath salts, aromatherapy products, or Epsom salt to the water. Delicious. Adding a 1/4 cup of milk to the water will do wonders since lactic acid helps loosen dead skin! Great factoid. The more calloused your feet, the longer your puppies stay submerged.

5. After toweling your feet off (don't they feel supple?!), apply cuticle remover to the base of each nail and rub in. After waiting a minute or so, use an orange stick to push back cuticles. Use cuticle clippers to remove excess, but be careful!!!

6. Apply a foot or body scrub to your foot. Use a wet pumice stone if you have one handy to apply the abrasive. The idea is to smooth your foot and remove dead skin. If your foot turns red, back off, baby -- you're punishing your peds!

7. Rinse, towel dry, and apply a moisturizing foot cream. Mmmmm.... I don't know about you, but I'm semi-conscious with relaxation at this juncture.

8. Rehydrate your cuticles with cuticle oil.

9. Pull out your nail polish remover (with acetone) and apply to the nail to get rid of the oils you just applied to the cuticle (i.e. leave it on the cuticle, but off the nail itself).

10. Once dry, apply 3 coats of nail polish and then a sealer.

Allow ample time for your polish to dry.

Now, isn't that refreshing and appealing, Kitten?! It makes such a big difference in the way you feel about yourself ... and makes those sandals look even more adorable! Promise!

The Indy 500

2008-05-28T09:17:00.004-05:00

Do you think I had a good time at the 500 or what? I'm telling you, there's never a dull moment around me. I can get myself into pretty much anything.

There's just nothing quite like being in a really fast, really red race car plastered with sponsors. Hugging curves never felt so extraordinary. The engineers, though, leave out the comfort factor in these puppies. I can't imagine driving in that capsule for hours on end for 500 miles. Serious fanny fatigue has GOT to ensue.

The part about the race experience that made me laugh the hardest? People kept telling me that "Indy Car Racing is so much more high-brow than Nascar". The only thing I could imagine that people were talking about on this subject was that in addition to your soda and beer choices, Indy 500 fans can select margaritas at food and beverage stands in the stadium. Please tell me when tequila and triple sec started to qualify as "high brow". Not that I was expecting tails and Kir Royales to abound at the race course, but I'm starting to wonder about some of my racing sources and their lucidity.

One thing people kept telling me before the race is that Indy cars go faster than other race cars (hence, them thinking this race format is superior to the other types of racing; I can't judge as I've only been to a grand total of one race now). All I can say is you need to not blink because you'll totally miss a car going by. You can only detect a blur of color when the car passes you. Sometimes, I just counted the nee-yaa sounds whipping past.

A moment to talk about the spectacular seats we had. Diva Janet, you are a sporting arena goddess!!! The seats were AWESOME. We were about 12 rows from the track, across from the pagoda and stage where EVERYTHING happened. I could plainly watch Kristi Yamaguchi climb the ladder to get on the platform to wave the flag (her jeans, I SWEAR, looked like they were Jordache brand from the 80's!!!). I saw Danica throw down her gloves after she was hit and taken out of the race to try to settle the score. I watched Scott Dixon turn the bottle of milk on himself. The pagentry at that event is pretty cool ... and I could see the scheduled and unscheduled stuff without much aid from the jumbo-tron. Impressive.

The factoid I found most interesting: it didn't smell at all. The cars run on ethanol. Bet you divas didn't know that one. There's always something to learn, Kitten.

Gas Link

2008-05-27T10:04:00.001-05:00

Gas prices in Indiana are 20 cents MORE than prices in Alabama. Woah! I'm wondering if that's because they're trying to make money on all the race fans. Sigh.

Here is a link allowing you to put in a zip code and it ranks the gasoline prices lowest to highest in your area. http://autos.msn.com/everyday/gasstations.aspx

If I don't post for a while ...

2008-05-20T08:08:00.002-05:00

It's because I'm about to be at the ball field constantly. My 5 year old's t-ball team won the city championship last night. Both my boys have been chosen for all-stars. Of course, their games will be played in 2 different towns. What do you think my odds are that the games won't be at the EXACT SAME TIME??? I'm about to hold my breath.

Oh, and I'm heading to Indianapolis for the weekend. I hear there's something called a "motor sport event" happening there. I'll investigate and report back.

File Under: Are You KIDDING ME?????

2008-05-15T08:38:00.003-05:00

For those of you thinking that on-line dating services = the way to find hotties, I submit this California girl's approach.

http://www.latimes.com/la-icu,0,5849955.htmlstory

There's just so much wrong with this, I can't narrow down the place to start. So, I suggest you read the postings after viewing the video. Quite entertaining yet totally disturbing when you think about it. Oh, and you hot guys, please be careful at the gas station in case this catches on!

The question I can't get out of my mind is: What is a guy on a bike doing at a gas station near the pump anyway? I think there could be more to the story. Which distrubs me further.

Aargh! My day is consumed with this mental bubble gum.

WHAT AM I THINKING?

2008-05-07T13:48:00.002-05:00

My express apology to Diva WineKnow. I cannot believe I neglected to mention that you should drop what you're doing (once you finish reading this) and call Jennifer at The Wine Cellar. If your Mom is in town and likes wine, have Jennifer put together a wine gift basket for you. Click on her link below, left and take a gawk at some of the gift baskets. Then call her to order. Again, you'll be sure to be Mom's Favorite.

PS She did NOT tell me to do this. It just hit me.

Now that my brain has whacked back into proper function .... If your mom's a reader, contact Katherine at Jonathan Benton Bookseller for a book suggestion or gift card.

Better yet, combine these two ideas, cover your bases, and Mom will love you forever (like she doesn't already. You know you're her favorite!!!!)

Off I go. XOXO

Quick Update

2008-05-07T13:25:00.004-05:00

I'm off to NYC to sing again at Carnegie Hall under the direction of the Choral Group Hottie, Terre Johnson. I can't wait.

Just want to let you know that I'll be back on The Rox Report 5/19 at 8:30; topic is celebs, so keep your requests coming. I now have Roxanne's link over there under blog faves (even though it's a web page - small detail).

If you want to buy my 2001 Mercedes S430, it's parked across the street from the Macy's entrance at Brookwood Village with an info sheet on the rear passenger door. BTW, the phone number is my agent's.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all you moms! For ideas on what to send Mom at the last minute, I refer you to the Valentine Flower information posting. You'll be Mom's favorite for sure!

Toodles, Poodle! XOXO ~ Marjorie TMD

What I learned: Brangelina Radio Topic Follow up

2008-05-06T14:10:00.002-05:00

There were several items from my Monday spot on The Rox Report that I didn't get to and think my divas and dudes will enjoy knowing:

You can have it all. Especially when you have enough dough to fly around in your own Gulfstream Jet with pilot, go everywhere with 2 nannies and 3 security guards, and are met at friends mansions by a staff of 12 at your service. When that's the case, you can be a mom and work for world peace. See, this is what it takes to make that happen. Pressure's now off, Kitten.

You (yes, you in the pink) can have Angelina’s lips. While they seem to be a natural phenomenon, you can emulate the look with these simple steps:
1. Exfoliate your lips (huh? I know!) with warm water and a wet wash cloth for 30 seconds.
2. Use Angie-endorsed Carmex on your lips to keep them succulent looking all the time. Yes, she has said in interviews that it’s her secret make-up product. Anywho, Carmex also makes your lips more receptive to enhancement treatments you apply yourself
3. Scurry and purchase one of those limp plumpers (the most recent thing in lip-enhancing technology – yep, they have "lip technology" these days). NOTE: some brands may give you a slight burning feeling and some brands note to not lick your lips for fear of allergic reaction wherein your throat may swell up (beauty for what cost, I ask you?!?)
3. a. ALTERNATE IDEA: Raid your seasonings and grab some cayenne pepper OR a combo of ginger and cinnamon to increase the circulation in your kisser and apply a very small amount across your lips and top with lip gloss. Again, especially cayenne could cause what I would consider to be moderate discomfort, so be careful with that application
4. Use a light colored lip liner close to the shade of your lips and fill in the entire pucker area and top with lip gloss (Angie never sports gigantic red lips).

While I’m not about to do any of the above, if you’re so inclined, tell me about your adventure with beauty concoctions involving your spice rack and your face.

Of course, these tips are less expensive than the #1 growing request plastic surgeons are hearing from women: lip enhancement surgery so they will look like Angelina.

SIGH! Kitten, you are a divine human.

I'm looking up Rox's blog to post a link on my faves, BTW.

Microphone, Please

2008-05-02T13:22:00.004-05:00

I am most pleased to announce that I will be appearing as a guest on WAPI 1070's The Rox Report starting Monday, May 5th from 8:30-9:00. Lisa Roxanne Holifield, the host whom I have already named Radio Diva, has asked me to provide regular material on "all things celebrity".

Thank you for all your input to my question about who your fave celeb is. I realize there are only a couple postings here, but I received numerous emails, a couple of phone calls, and was even stopped in the grocery store by people telling me who they liked to follow and why.

I am really glad I asked the question. I was very surprised and enlightened by the answers. For example, my high school friend who is now a dentist told me that he wanted to know about what stars are giving back to their communities and has an interest in who is on stage. I would have never thought about that angle. Another diva wants to know about what celebrities are putting in their homes - gadgets and stuff. Hilariously enough, the person in Publix stopped me to tell me that she wanted to know what restaurants celebs liked and what foods are "in". Have no idea, but maybe I'll research it at some point. 'Cause now that I think about it, that would be fun to know.

I hope that my reports on "all things celebrity' will provide more content than what you find in the funny papers ... and I hope to work in some tips that will be entertaining, interesting, or that maybe you can actually use. Keep the celebrity opinions coming.

I hope you will tune in 1070 AM at 8:30 Monday. If you are out of the listening area, grab a computer, you can listen online at http://www.wapi1070.com/. If you haven't heard The Rox Report before, you will find Roxanne a delightful call-in-talk-show host with exquisite manners and a really big brain.

Dish wants to know

2008-04-29T14:10:00.002-05:00

So, who are your favorite celebs to follow and why? Please post to the blog.
Yes, there is a reason for me asking this. All to be revealed Friday.
XOXO - MTMD
PS Please note: shortest entry yet

Help Desks Suck

2008-04-24T11:30:00.002-05:00

My personal email isn't sending or receiving reliably. God only knows how long this has been going on. I have spent THREE DAYS on e-technical support and subsequently on the telephone to helpless Help Desks. Here's what I've learned so far:
~ No one really gives a crap
~ The people who are supposed to help you aren't really equipped to help you. You have to kick and scream to get anywhere. In doing so, you risk pissing off the little people who can write lies in the "log" about the problem, spouting such untruths as "she hung up on me, so I'm not fixing the problem since she is uncooperative". GOOD GRIEF! Why on God's Green Earth would I do something that would take LONGER to solve the problem???

Here's the morsel I've found to date:
If you get someone in India, you may request an American operator and they must transfer you to the next available on-shore operator. LOVE THAT!

Any tricks or tips or bribes that have worked for any of you to get you further up in the line of fellow sufferers would be most appreciated.

I think I'll need a lobotomy if I have to deal with much more of this. Alcohol won't dull the pain.

Need a Time-Waster/Mental Bubble Gum?

2008-04-21T14:43:00.005-05:00

This Old House has a segment on their web page called [Range] Hoods Gone Wild. Apparently a few hood manufacturing companies decided to get creative with the range hood and have combined it with ways to charge unbelievably outrageous prices for range hoods (you know, those very noisy things that hang over your stove to keep the smoke out of your living room supposedly while you're whipping up a delicious treat).

You simply must take a gawk at this, Strudel. http://www.thisoldhouse.com/toh/photos/0,,20191317,00.html?xid=hinnewsletter-041508-vent-hoods Be sure to flip through all the pages to get the whole enchilada.

What proves most entertaining to this Diva are the posted comments under the professionally written product description. One, I swear, sounds just like our dear reader Allen (not the camp person Allen; Radio Listener Fan Allen - you both are morsels). See what you think and get back to me (NOT about the Allens; the Range Hoods, silly goose!).

Toodles, Poodles!

Err ... I (hack, wheeze, sputter, slurp) spoke too soon

2008-04-14T18:57:00.005-05:00

Back on meds. Bronchitis, asthma, some form of infection in the lung/breathing area - yuck. Don't get me wrong, this is not stopping me from doing much of anything except singing - 'cause that's a lost cause right now, but I'm GONNA get better. I've got 2 weeks before the next singing performance, right Choral Group Heart-Throb?! Plenty of time.

So, for your Main Dish Fix, I submit a commercial for The Wine Cellar.

Kitten, you simply must stop by there PRONTO. It's really easy to get to and there's plenty of parking. It's off Hwy 31 in Vestavia. Turn in Publix. She's next door to a FAVE artist, Wendy LoVoy's Sips and Strokes studio (if you haven't done that, you're totally missing out, but that's another shameless endorsement).

Jennifer is a trained chef. O0h la-la! She can help you with your next party with menu advice AND suggest wines. It's just one of the many advantages she offers her clientele.

Think you can't afford to buy wine there? Think that specialty wine stores are tres expensive? Au contraire, mon frere. The Wine Cellar specializes in high-quality, low price (starting at $5/bottle!) wines. You can't afford to NOT check it out! Jennifer has sampled every single wine she carries. Now, is that a job benefit or what?! Are you hiring? Anyway, she stands behind everything she sells ... personally. And I was surprised to learn that not every specialty wine store does this. So, Jennifer is the exception, not the rule.

On a budget for your party? Who isn't! Give her a budget, the number of expected guests, and she'll work magic for you. Oh! She has the funniest cocktail napkins that will be the talk of your fete! I must snap some up the next time I'm in there.

Jennifer has eye-candy items that make fantastic gifts for your chic girlfriends - and you won't drop a lot of wonga paying for it, either! Doncha just love that?!

Want something totally fun and fresh to do Thursday night? Jennifer hosts wine tastings at the store. There's food, too! Learn and drink - a winning combo in my book! Click on her blog link for deets right away, Poodle! Also, you can see what Katherine looks like - her picture's on the blog.

If you haven't been to The Wine Cellar, you are missing out. Call 979-2151 if you need anything. Jennifer will probably even answer the phone. Tell her I said hey!

Another update

2008-04-10T09:11:00.002-05:00

The bills passed both the House and the Senate committees yesterday. The compromise language boils down to this:

Good News: No School in June or July

Eh News: Schools won't start back until AFTER August 10th. It's still royally hot then, but it's better than Blount County's start date this fall of August 7th.

Out of the Blue: Schools will be allowed up to 6 weeks of vacation during the school calendar year. Currently there are about 5 weeks (Fall Break/Thanksgiving week, 2 weeks @ Christmas, 1 week spring break, 1 week of teacher work days).

THESE BILLS STILL HAVE TO GO IN FRONT OF BOTH THE HOUSE AND SENATE FOR VOTING BEFORE THIS GOES IN EFFECT, so stay tuned. Thanks to those who emailed. It made a big, big difference.

XOXO

Updates

2008-04-09T14:14:00.004-05:00

1. HAIR. For those of you Sweet Peeps who have been concerned about the state/condition/color of my hair, please breathe a collective sigh of relief. The Main Squeeze is about to really like the color again (I usually pay zero attention to what a fellow thinks of my hair because if he's dating me for my hair, then I don't want him - The Main Squeeze isn't like that; he just likes the red, 'cause it's sassy. Tee, hee!) and for that, it's worth what I just dropped paying for it. The cut is great, though a little short. But to quote my mother, "The great thing about hair is it grows. Just wait." It just looks better. If you ever need a perk, go to a trusted stylist for a faboo cut and you're transformed.

2. Toenails = You're a Pisa Work, my very fave color (Opi brand)

3. Fingernails = French nude

PS I did 2 & 3 myself despite The Main Squeeze arranging for a mani-pedi for me. LOVE that a lot. The nail place was a disaster of an experience and reminds me why I don't like those foreign-jobby nail places, despite the fact they're time and cost effective. My feet were in tepid water they'd left running and forgotten about me until the thing nearly overflowed. To add to that experience, it was filled with Lysol, which was starting to slowly burn the skin off my body - NOT relaxing, by the by. The chair massage started a karate chop ... AT MY HEAD, which was really disturbing, but I thought, I'll just wait to see if the basin overflows and for sure, this action will go down my back. Well, it moved from my head (yea!) ... and got stuck in my back in such a way that you could readily see the kneading balls pushing through the pleather when you leaned forward. It just stopped like that. I couldn't sit back because I had these hard spheres in my back and to put my head on the head rest part, I had to arch my back. Remember, too, my skin is being seared off by Lysol cleaner that you add to water (like to mop with, I think). I sat bolt upright in a massage chair for like 15 minutes. No one noticed. The tub was about to overflow. No one noticed. I'd been left there in a foot-washing torture chamber and I wasn't at a country Baptist church. I decided that since I'm working to un-do the Hag look, I'd best get the hell out. If anyone knows of a good mani-pedi place that doesn't feature torture, please post. The Main Squeeze gets major points for thinking to get me a mani-pedi AND making the arrangements to surprise me. That was just beyond thoughtful. He's just THE Best!!!!

4. Fungus. Eyes are completely better. Contacts back in their rightful positions. The doctor's office never returned my phone call. Thanks to Voice Coach Queen, the doc's daughter had a lesson and VCQ inquired about the latest developments with the fungus down my throat etc. VCQ called me with the doc there b/c the doc realized she hadn't heard from me and PERSONALLY ON THE SPOT called in more RX's for me ... costing me more than $100 for this fungus treatment. It's on the mend and has cleared out of everything but my mouth and throat, which is an improvement.

5. I'm at the ballpark 4 week nights plus 4 hours every Saturday. I keep hearing from friends, "I haven't seen you lately." Well, I'm either driving to the ballpark (like to pick up children from across the globe and drive them to practice/games), at the ballpark, driving home from the ballpark, or scrubbing the red clay out of the baseball pants. Funny, the folks at the ballpark aren't the ones telling me they haven't seen me around. For those of you who know how competitive my boys are, you'll be relieved to know that one is on the #2 machine pitch team and the other one is on the #1 t-ball team at present.

6. When I'm not at the ballpark, I'm singing somewhere or in rehearsals. Mozart Requiem plays in my head at all times currently. Even when I sleep, it's going. Concerts start in about a month.

7. WAPI. I was a guest on Lisa Roxanne Holifield's morning talk show this morning. Being back in the studio was great! She is delightful. It's a great show featuring a smart, compassionate woman talking about timely topics and news. My topic, surprisingly, was not helpful tips, but the bill going to committee today concerning the school calendar issue. The phone calls were excellent and none staged, I promise! There was this one weird guy calling in claiming to be Roxanne's biggest fan, but I changed the subject of his conversation and she hung up on him. Yep, that's good old fashioned Girl Teamwork. The whole visit was great fun.

The Diva Comeback Tour continues. Well, actually, I have to go pick up in carpool line in a sec.
XOXO

I hate politics, BUT

2008-04-08T10:14:00.005-05:00

In Alabama, there is a committee meeting TOMORROW that effects all of our school children. HB 179 and SB 241 propose a uniform start date close to Labor Day for ALL SCHOOLS and that they end just before Memorial Day.

Why is this a big deal? Do you remember the 107-degree days that we had in August? They're pretty typical in these parts. School children across Alabama go to schools either without air-conditioned buildings or with broken air conditioning. My kids (and probably yours) are a smaller percentage of kids who go to schools with good environments. Even in good environments, any child in the state riding a school bus is being transported in ovens in August. There are several stories of children suffering from heat exhaustion just from riding the school bus home in the afternoon. Children can't learn, do their homework, or feel invigorated to go to ballet lessons after suffering through these conditions.

When I was growing up, we had 11-12 weeks of summer. Now there are 8-10 weeks. We didn't go back to school until August 20th at the earliest. I remember one summer camp year when I was 14 or 15 dreading August 27th when school started. My kids' school starts August 11, 2008. UGH!

Kids with asthma can't go on the playground in August because the air is polluted (I have asthma, so I'm not knocking those kids). This prohibits the entire classroom from going on the playground. Kids need to get their energy out several times a day in order to behave in the classroom and to learn.

Not sold? How about the financial costs of air conditioning your home in August? Multiply that amount by a hormone-filled middle school of 500-1,000 kids PLUS the staff. THEN COOK for them and keep the lunch room at a reasonable temperature. WHY are we doing this at the historically hottest time of the year? WHY can't these dollars be put in the classroom instead of going to Alabama Power?

The Chamber of Commerces in the beach areas (Florida Panhandle and the Alabama Coastal areas) state that revenue goes down MILLIONS of dollars in August, the hottest month, because people are getting kids back to school -when they would otherwise be at the beach. This effects the amount of funds that go towards education and services, people! It's being taken out of our kids' educational pockets.

Educational Administrators wax on about test scores, more days needed in the fall to prepare for state testing, and the need for areas to set their own schedules. Let me debunk those for you.
1. Test Scores. The highest test scores in the state are in Mountain Brook. They are the latest starting school system in the state. They, by the way, have exams before winter holidays, too (another reason superintendents state the late start date is a bad idea).
2. More days in the Fall needed for state testing preparation. Homewood City Schools have MORE HOLIDAYS and WORK DAYS IN THE FALL THAN IN THE SPRING. If you require a fair break down that I emailed the committee members, I am pleased to provide it to you. It AMAZES me how miraculously these holidays and teacher work days fall right before or on, say, Columbus Day. See, superintendents have to work during the summer to get out those passing/failing test scores (never on time yet) and they want days off. They can't do it in the summer because they're trying to not fail the test score game. They don't care about kids learning anything. They want long weekends. To that point and bringing it to the hoity-toity level, my older child's teacher missed 5 days in the classroom to attend conferences that weren't scheduled during those appointed "work days". Hmmmmm....
3. School systems need to set their own schedules. Mobile is the chief complainer here - talking about Mardi Gras. Last time I checked, that's in the spring prior to testing. Well, if you don't take a fall break, you can make that adjustment in your instructional days. Boo-hoo. Get over it!

Our legislators hear from the superintendents all the time. They have been brainwashed by people who supposedly have our children's educational needs in mind. What I believe is that they have their own vacation plans in mind, screw our kids and let them melt. Folks, the heat in August in Alabama is dangerous and not conducive to learning. I urge you to email these people below who have the power to help our youngest citizens and do one more thing to help control their learning environment for the better. This is common sense. It is family-friendly. It makes economic sense. It helps disadvantaged children have a healthier, better chance at learning. Whatever of those reasons works for you, please communicate IMMEDIATELY with these people. Tomorrow's vote is riding on you - the superintendents have this beat if you don't email now to urge a Yes Vote and our kids will melt into dripping pools on their text books. By the way, they've heard from me personally TWICE this week. XOXO ~Marjorie

Email Addresses of Committee Members:
staterep@co.escambia.al.us ; staterep@co.escambia.al.us ; bboyd@calhouncounty.org ; macmccutcheon@knology.net ; house3@alhouse.org ; tommysherer@yahoo.com ; harryshiver@aol.com ; bsketa@aol.com ; camjulward@aol.com ; priscilla.dunn@alhouse.org ; lea.fite@alhouse.org ; john.robinson@alhouse.org ; yvonne.kennedy@alhouse.org ; terry.spicer@alhouse.org ; kbenefield@acs-isp.com ; bobby@bobbydenton.com ; senatorerwin@aol.com ; info@parkergriffith.com ; trip.pittman@alsenate.gov ; myronpenn28@hotmail.com ; qtross2002@hotmail.com ; wmitchell@faulkner.edu ; zeb@zeblittlelawfirm.com ; jabo.waggoner@alsenate.gov

Sandal Indulgence

2008-03-31T12:44:00.008-05:00

I love shoes. Sigh. Nothing like a sassy pair of shoes makes such a great Diva statement. I don’t know what it is, but backless shoes, mules in particular, hold unexplainable irresistible appeal to me, though a peep-toe sling-back has a remarkably similar effect! There are several articles of clothing that you could have a plain one of, but WHY? Shoes is the Queen of that rule.

As with all clothes, you must know what fits your body shape and what works for you. For example, I’m short; therefore I MUST stay away from shoes with ankle straps because, Poodle, they cut you visually in yet another place and really make you look dumpy and shorter. I swear, they do! Even though those ankle tie sandals are the most diva-licious shoe morsels around. Slurp. I must resist.

Diva Sandal Selecting Tips (please note the shoes are the bullet points and are the examples):
Heels always make your legs look better. If that makes you groan, select a wedge. They’re just so comfortable and look so super. If you need a diva sandal, doesn't this low-heeled wedge just look delicious?! Try a bold color this summer. You will be so happy you branched out!

A sub note under that is the platform is still a fantastic “heel” option. (Thank you, Spain for Espadrilles!!! Divas adore them!) Please note the example has a peep-toe feature. See, you can combite delights such as: wedge + peep toe = Diva shoe

If your feet are prone to inflating and deflating at a moment’s notice (and this is all too real in the summer with the heat and AC), please avoid the gappy-strappy kind. I saw one poor woman’s feet on an airplane one time and it was just abysmal – it looked like fat was just oozing through those straps. Just a bad, bad look. Those sandals were the multicolored strap ones that were so big in the 80’s. I know I had at least 3 pairs of them in a 4 year period – just variations on the theme. THIS IS NOT TO SAY you cannot wear strappy shoes. Just make sure before purchasing that if necessary, they have adequate wiggle room (so to speak.
Flip flops don’t have to be boring. Yellow Box is my fave brand of them – surprised that I own the pink polka dot AND the leopard (it’s even fuzzy!)? But here are some that are under $20 – how great is that?!

I think I just spent 2 hours on http://www.shoes.com/, a site I simply must make certain you know about. All of the photos here are courtesy of that marvelously shoe-infused eye-candy wonderland of a website. Who needs therapy? Nothing makes a hag-making-a-diva-comeback feel inspired like looking at glorious shoes. I suggest you take a mental break, Cupcake, and indulge with me there. Free shipping and Free returns, now THAT’S Shoe Heaven.

The Road from Diva to Hag = Very Short; The Road from Hag to Diva = Very Long

2008-03-28T14:57:00.003-05:00

Just when you think you’re rocking and rolling, life throws you a little curve. No biggie. Adjust / dodge it, right? Maybe you THINK you’re dodging it and then more curves come at you and once you look up after doing all that adjusting, you realize, you’re going to have basically quit your job just to rearrange stuff from the fall-out.

Case Study: ME
So, you all know that I think my former hairdresser has some substance problem as was evidenced by him falling asleep standing up during my prior two haircut appointments, ending in shall we say “stylistic disasters” (reference previous postings). My haircuts for the last year haven’t been up to par. The color has been getting progressively more extreme (ask my mother, she’ll go on and on). So, I’ve replaced him. But it’s now a “process” because the color had to be CPR’d and the cut had to be worked on. Work in progress. So, a diva believes though it’s under construction, it’s also underway and on track.

Enter Curve #2. I sing. I have gook in my throat all the time. Have for years. Apparently, this isn’t normal. I have acid reflux as a result of a near deadly case of colitis last year. Reflux burns your throat and depletes the vocal quality of the voice (makes you hoarse even if you are just talking) by inflaming everything in its path vaulting stomach acid up through what feels like the top of your skull. So, I went to the doctor in January. I have asthma thanks to the reflux. I spend hundreds of dollars on meds. Some don’t even work and I have to purchase replacements. It stinks, but that’s life. I had the opportunity to check a cool item of THE LIST (see prior posting) and sing from the rooftop. I had to sound and look decent while doing so, of course. Found new stylist and got a great cut. Found an outfit. It’s looking up. And sounding better, too.

ENTER FUNGUS in the mouth due to the meds to control the asthma. Called doc, spent hundreds more on meds, sang from rooftop with hunky, earth-friendly side-kick. It was great. A few days later, Fungus spreads from tongue and just between the tonsils to way down the throat, into the ears, and up the nose. Now I don’t know about you, but even to read that, it just sounds gross. Let me just tell you, IT IS GROSS. And painful – like from time to time, my tongue feels like it could split open at any given moment; the roof of my mouth and my throat feels like it has a shag carpet. And it’s energy-depleting because to live that fungus apparently is sucking the life out of me; I’m a bit sleepy as a result. Did I mention, it’s completely gross? I won’t go into the nose part. I can’t bear to write about it.

Think it can’t get worse? ENTER VIRUS IN THE EYES. Yep, plural. I know. Ick. The up-shot is I had a lovely visit with Dr. Julie Gannon, who I think is so fantastic should you be in the market for an eye doc (Callahan Eye Foundation Hospital, Callahan’s practice). This is unrelated to the fungus, but may be related to the nose spray. I have stopped asking questions at this juncture. I’m not wearing contacts “for a long time” and no eye make up for a little while. Sigh. But a diva must go on.

ENTER FEVER and I COULDN’T MOVE MY HEAD without excruciating pain (due to the fungus). That was yesterday. If any of you saw me at the ballpark at the early t-ball game, now you know why I looked like a Hag. I was more than happy to operate the sound system and scoreboard. Hags like to hide.

OHMIGOSH I FORGOT this in the original posting. This morning, due to one of the meds making me feel dizzy, I conked my head on the shelf while putting clothes in the washing machine, so now I have a whelp on my forehead. Poodle, the glamour is overwhelming me.

Why am I telling you all of this? To make you feel better about yourself, Cupcake! You couldn’t POSSIBLY look as bad as I do. Hey, your tongue is probably pink. Mine isn’t. But the thing is, Poodle, even with this mess – it’s just funny. It’s annoying, but it isn’t the end of the world. It's just going to take some time to turn this boat around.

So what am I going to do about it?
Well, I’ve given up on working on my head – I’ve got professionals tending to specific areas of that. I went to Jennifer (yep, another one), Whittaker, Massage Therapist (223-0748 or Linda Patterson at the same office) and got pummeled. My neck has loosened up some. I can move it.

Personally, I’m starting with my feet. I gave myself a pedicure with bright pink polish this morning. Tomorrow, I plan to go shoe-shopping after the boys’ ball games. Shoes just make me happy.

The bonus? In shoe stores, all the mirrors are on the floor!

Diva Wine Know needs a contact

2008-03-28T13:53:00.003-05:00

Our Diva of Libations, Diva Wine Know's Mom is moving from Jemison to Homewood. She is looking for someone that will price, tag & sell all her stuff in a yard sale for a percentage. If you know of anyone who does that, would you contact Jennifer (a.k.a. Diva Wine Know of The Wine Cellar in Vestavia Hills near Publix - like that plug???) at vwinecellar@bellsouth.net Many thanks.

Main Dish To Sing From Roof-Top

2008-03-13T14:13:00.004-05:00

You know, there are some things on your List (of stuff to do before you buy the farm) and you're really not certain that you'll get to do them 'cause they're so outrageous. Silence, Petunia? What?!!! Tell me you have outrageous things that you want to do before your number's called. Oh. COME. ON. SURE YOU DO!!!!

Well, think on that while you read and then post your answer to the comment section, m'kay (keep it clean; I aim to keep my PG rating).

So, singing from the rooftop is one of those things that people talk about and I've often wondered, "Hey, does anybody really ever do that?" And thought, " if no one does, then perhaps I should look into doing it". But well, let's face it the ... sheer danger .... kept me from really pursuing it. The logistics were sort of a sticking point, too - like how do you get a sound system on a roof and mike up? In heels? Would people call the police?

Wonder no more, Poodle-Pop. This Saturday afternoon, The Main Dish takes to the rooftop to perform a musical set on 18th Street in Homewood, just down from the end of 280 (or is it the beginning?) near Dorothy McDaniel Flower Shop. On several little numbers, I'll be joined by the dashing, hunky, and totally talented Mark Rubino, who is the one who got me in this mess in the first place -- err, I mean: he's the one who is making my roof-top chanteuse dreams come true.

We rehearsed up there this morning and I learned a couple of things:
~ The pollen is definitely getting worse
~ I'm going to need a lot of hair spray
~ Subsequently, I need to bring chap stick for the luscious lips to stay hydrated about 3 stories in the air
~ I'm considering using a beauty queen technique - Vaseline the teeth so the perma-smile stays on; an added bonus is that the inner upper lip doesn't get dry while singing (in case you haven't noticed, it's kinda' windy up there)
~ There is a Mediterranean tree (tall, skinny, spruce variety) planted in Homewood (totally out of place) that's like 2 stories tall and 12 inches wide - it's really weird
~ The guy two doors down is working on his car
~ Scott Walton is indeed not just receding, but balding on the top (he's much taller than I and has lamented about it to me for about 2 years now, but I couldn't see it for myself until today - so sorry, Scott; commiserate with the Main Squeeze if necessary).
~ The crowd should be liquored up by late afternoon, right?

So, I encourage you, Poodle, to embrace an Outrageous Item on your List. It may be easier to accomplish than you think - I always envisioned a steep, pitched roof; this one is totally flat with a stair case leading to it and the always-handy pulley system to vertically transport items such as sound systems. SURPRISE! It's do-able.

So, what's your Outrageous Item???? (again, PG rating, please)

Guest Diva- Staging Your House to Sell

2008-03-09T21:50:00.005-05:00

Guest Diva, Designer and professional Stager, Jill Boothby dishes about Staging Your Home (‘cause you know that spring is the best time to list your house). Tasty morsels, these, so take notes, Pumpkin!

Do you want to sell your home as quickly as possible? For the highest possible amount? The way you live in your home and the way you market and sell your house are two different things. When you place your house on the market, you want to create immediate buyer interest in the property….the ideal staging result is to have the potential buyer “envision” themselves living in the new home. Home staging is proven to be among the very best ways to get top dollar for you home. Here are some starters:
Inside
~ Clear the surfaces from furniture. Home stagers recommend groupings of a few items for decorative purposes only.
~ In the kitchen, take all the stuff off the fridge and clean off the counters limiting them to only what is necessary. A sparse kitchen helps the buyer imagine their items in the space.
~In the bathrooms, remove everything from the counter tops. Towels should be fresh and new looking and grouped with ribbon, rolled, or arranged in a pleasant manner. Make it look like a retreat or spa – that sells houses.
~ Clean all windows. Paint or patch walls. Clean carpets and drapes.
Outside
~ Pick up scraps, toys, garbage cans. Plant flowers. Mulch planted areas.
~ Check gutters for moss, dry rot, leaves – clean them if necessary. If leaves are on your roof, remove them.
~ Prune all bushes – if you can’t see the house, it won’t sell

Sound overwhelming? Want to learn more? Consider a professional staging service. Having your home staged to sell by staging experts is NOT a luxury in a slower sales market. As the market changes and homes begin to “sit on the market” homeowners are in need of a competitive edge to get their homes SOLD – so staging is critical!

Jill’s business is Setting the Stage (Jill and her team are pictured below- tell me these divas can't make your house look AMAZING; just look at those hot divas!), a specially appointed staging service that comes into your home and helps you set the scene to entice buyers …these services help you and your listing agent realize a quick sale at maximum value. Setting the Stage is an accredited ASP Stager team that uses strict guidelines using proven techniques. We view your home with an objective eye and will produce a detailed plan for staging your home. Our team handles many details that you may not think of during such a busy time- presentation packaging, organizational skills, decorating talents, and creative ideas to make the process as easy as possible!

Contact Jill and receive a free consultation when you mention seeing her posting on this blog! (205) 305-9546 or jboothby@boothbyrealty.com A little treat, you special, deserving creature!

Red Dirt vs. White Baseball Pants

2008-03-04T12:35:00.004-06:00

Thank you , Tipsy Diva for your in-depth question. I'm devoting a front posting page to the timely topic of How to Get Red Clay Out of White Baseball Pants.

Now, first, I ask who in their right mind decides a t-ball, machine pitch, or any other team for that matter where falling or sliding or sheer boredom are involved would decide players should wear white pants? They're just crazy ... that, or the decision-maker on this is NOT the same one who does the household laundry. Homicide rates are down, but let's monitor that statisic over baseball season, m'kay?

If you think all's ya' gotta' do is add bleach to the load ... I say, this is evidently your first season. Strangely, bleach just doesn't cut it.

If you'd a' asked me last year, I'd swoon about OxiClean and how it does a fine job. It's not bad, but I have asthma and that powder/dust burns the heck out of my nose and throat and makes me cough. IF you happen to have OxiClean, you can apply essentially the same technique until you run out of the stuff and it will be OK.

I recently discovered ZOUT. [Insert church organ music here.] Oh ... My ... God... It's just beyond fantastic. Here's what got white All-Star pants clean finally - they'd been my frustration cause since July. Through several OxiClean treatments, bleach, Awesome (from the Dollar Store - good stuff, but not for red clay), and crazier combinations than I care to admit just to TRY to get SOME of the red out. Enter ZOUT, the laundry product that may change my life.

1. As I've said: Get you some ZOUT immediately, Girl.
2. Spray the offending, ground-in, stubborn red clay areas.
3. Leave it alone in the sink for a while. Like, run to Diva WineKnow's store (The Wine Cellar, Vestavia), get a case of wine, and dive into it.
4. Remember that you have baseball pants in your sink that need to be removed sometime before you cook next.
5. Fill the sink with tepid water. Squirt some ZOUT in the filling sink for good measure.
6. Resume interest in wine
7. When your arms feel nice and floppy, get a fabric scrub brush (you can get these at the grocery), drain water out, leaving about 1/4" in the sink.
8. Scrub that sucker/those suckers (ever notice how there's not just one spot on the pants? They come with friends.)
9. Keep wine within easy reach because this is going to take a while and you just don't want to get parched, Poodle!
10. You are going to have to drain the 1/4" now-brown water out multiple times before you're done with all the scrubbing.
11. When you get out as much clayas you can, transport pants immediately to the washing machine, start the machine with detergent, and allow machine to fill up - but employ the soaking method.
12. Find your bottle of wine.
13. Add copious amounts of bleach (like more than they recommend) to the soaking and allow pants to marinate for a good long while
14. Complete the machine cycle ... and very possibly the bottle of wine.
15. Do NOT put the pants in the dryer unless you are completely satisfied with lack of stain - 'cause heat sets stains.

I was amazed by the glowing whiteness that was the baseball pants. Thank you, ZOUT!!! I may make it through laundry cycles this baseball season.

2008-03-03T17:44:00.004-06:00

Since the weather today is warm, a diva's thoughts turn to the garden wondering what's popping up after the daffodils. Err... until tomorrow when it's getting cold again. But that's OK- you can still plan that garden.

Sometimes there are just things you HAVE to know about, Cupcake. This is one of them. Scotts Miracle-Gro Company provides several nifty services through their website. For example, you put in your zip code and what kind of grass you have; then every month, you get an e-newsletter telling you what to do. They tell you what products to use ... and will list stores in your area carrying them. For projects you want to work on, they'll help you create a supply list. How great is that???

Bookmark the page http://www.scotts.com/ and get growin'. Oh PS - The Main Squeeze turned me on to this site (that Sweetie Pie is so helpful - he's simply irreplaceable). I've been using the service for a while and the results are great. Diva Endorsed.

XOXO

Diva Sightings

2008-02-29T16:48:00.003-06:00

Sorry, kids, for my lapse. I've been the following places recently:

Nashville, lost in the Opryland Hotel. I hate that place. I swear, I couldn't find the front door and walked around for 30+ minutes. How embarrassing!
the t-ball and machine pitch baseball fields (NOW you understand - yep, I'm co-Team Mom for both kids' teams, ugh!)
Rehearsing Mozart
Singing jazz
Installing garage organizational systems
Echola, Alabama (West Tuscaloosa County, i.e. "The Sticks"/BFE/ The Ends of the Earth - but I loved it. VERY pretty!!! I traded recently canned tomato chutney I made with Pear Preserves with the Main Squeeze's adorable mother. I won. I got the better end of the swap!!! Now if Dash would stop eating my pear preserves every morning with his English Muffin, I might get a shot at having some before he cleans me out.
Doing laundry (see above ref. baseball - those pants are a killer to get the wet, red clay out of)

I'll get back on the blog-writing stick soon. As a side note to Diva WineKnow and others - I post responses under the topic, even a week or two afterwards. So, if you're looking for the hair update, check the comments under the topic. Sorry, I'm anal - must file.

XOXO

The Main Dish

Funny Email. Compelled to Share

2008-02-21T10:44:00.002-06:00

The text says: Much to their suprise, the Virgins awaiting Muslims in Heaven were not what they expected. Don't know the source - sorry.

Color Report - Spring 2008

2008-02-20T11:07:00.010-06:00

Poodle, about this time of the season, aren't you pretty much SICK of all your clothes? I walk in my custom boudoir and just about scream. Well, that's for several reasons - I'm in the midst of a Goodwill cleanse and the ever-present laundry is always an issue at the Diva Digs. But it doesn't help that I'm over my winter clothes at this point. Sound like the call of the shopping Sirens? In case you're in the same boat and want to know what's The Thing to add to your wardrobe repetoire, I'm at your service.

The big clothing color this spring is YELLOW. I heard that and my brain went straight to Psycho music and a visual of bumble-bee clothes complete with antennae as accessory. Brighten up! I remembered that yellow is a cheery color - it makes people happy. OK, now were' cookin'; this can be fun. Black and white with a splash of yellow in an outfit will be the Bee's Knees! Look for a great purse in yellow and you'll be all the rage (not in the man purse department, though, puh-leez). A couple of cute suggestions ranging drastically in price:

Manolo Blahnik stappy sandles. Aren't they adorable? Pair with a sundress or white pantsuit and you're a hot, hot diva. Sex in the City's Carrie would rip them right off of you, too, so watch out! They're not inexpensive at all, so be forewarned, my little fashion bee!

This great Alfani graphic jacket really pops with a yellow shirt underneath, n'est pas?! You can pick up the gem at Macy's. Here's the link should you need instant access to it http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=293989&CategoryID=35196&LinkType=EverGreen

Now, if the above two numbers either don't do it for you or aren't remotely in your price range, you can always opt for a great jean jacket. I love them in colors 'cause you can wear them with jeans without it looking like you're not sure if it's a suit idea or not. Try this one also at Macy's priced at $49:

While I'm not remotely interested in the shirt they show under the jacket, you can still see the potential. One note about yellow next to the face: make certain the yellow is the right one for your skin tones and won't make your sweet face look sallow or jaundiced. That'd be a total shame, glamour puss! But there are those who say if you wear enough make up, then you can wear any color. Morsel? You decide.

Fending off the Call of the Mall .... XOXO!

Worst Hair Day EVER

2008-02-08T17:44:00.000-06:00

I'm about to dump hair color bottle 3rd attempt on my head. I've gone from carrot top to purple and now I'm reservedly optomistic about wishing for a lovely shade of Elvira. Any tips?

My hair stylist is having a crisis or is on drugs or both. I can't hang around long enough to find out.

I need help .... FAST.

Popping the Q

2008-02-07T20:55:00.000-06:00

This being one of those items I never will have on my To Do List, I had to take some time to ponder Dude’s question about popping the question (see previous post’s 2nd response). Prince Charming, I take it from the fact that you posted to the blog, brave soul, that you want to do something special for your princess.

The answer starts the same as several of my other pieces of advice: know your audience and take your cue from that. So, is she quiet/private or does she like a big show? The next question is all about you, Romeo: do you want to produce something memorable for the two of you to recount to the delight of others or do you want something private? The overriding idea is to make it special to you both, but the bottom line is that you do it in such a way that the only way she can answer is Yes!

Without having more information, I can’t really start rolling out helpful suggestions. So, what do you like to do together? Where have you traveled together? What’s special to you? With that kind of information, I’m pointed in a specific direction. Barring that, I assume you know her best friend. Yep, I’m punting to the “ask the best girlfriend for advice”. However, if you want to give the group more deets, I think we have some readers with delicious taste and boundless romantic inclinations who would be more than willing to weigh in.

How ‘bout it, Divas and Dudes?! Let’s help Prince Charming sweep his Princess off her feet … at least until her mother gets involved in the wedding planning extravaganza.

Bag the Grocery Store Flowers

2008-02-07T09:33:00.001-06:00

OK, I've been getting personal emails again (reminder: post to the blog for numbers, Precious) with questions from the Guy Set asking where to get flowers when I've just outlawed the grocery store variety.

So, my pal "Guy" emails me, "what's so bad about grocery store flowers anyway?"
A: First you'll notice that they have blackened tips around the edges of the flower. Many times there are brown spots or black holes on the exterior petals – sometimes penetrating beyond the outer layer petals. They're not fresh. They're not stored correctly. They haven't been taken care of properly. Why? It's a GROCERY store and this is an add-on item, i.e. a second thought - not the primary reason you're there. Or it's an emergency. Another reason that I hate grocery store roses is that they don't last long (see reasons above), so instead of having beautiful fragrant bouquet, it's dead in 24 hours and it reeks to high heaven. As yourself: is that really what you’re going for??? If you're planning for Valentine's or a birthday, you know, a milestone for the person who makes your ticker go pitter-pat, s/he deserves something that's not filled with fungus. Don't you agree????

You are in luck, Guy. I'm not leaving you hanging here. It wouldn't have flair if I did. So, I'm helping you out ... in a BIG way. You have options in the flowers-that-make-a-gigantic-impact-department. TRUST ME. And from your perspective, if you drop all that wonga, s/he should be beyond delighted about the flowers and give you a wonderful reaction of joy, surprise, excitement, etc. You know I'm right. Here's how to get it.

ONE WAY for a nice impact (especially if flowers aren't expected or you've been getting the Aisle 3 variety previously) is to call your florist and order today:
1. Dorothy McDaniel's Flower Market (Homewood) (205) 871-0092 or www.dorothymcdaniel.com .
2. Feel the Love, flowers arranged by the landscape architect, Mr. Love, owner of Mountain Brook Flower Shop 870-1666. Say hi to the dogs.
3. Who in town doesn't just adore Gus Pappas and Norton's Florist? 313-1983 I mean, they raised money for Natalee Holloway after she disappeared in Aruba and when they ran out of yellow roses, Gus miraculously got more. He’s a tasty treat with a big heart.

A freebie tip from The Main Dish: Spend more on the flowers, less on the vase. You hope that the recipient says, “what gorgeous flowers; how thoughtful.” NOT “what an interesting vase; oh, there are flowers in it.”

Here are some BEYOND WOW impact options. Send these to the office of your sweetheart and you’re instantly the perfect boyfriend/husband who all the other boyfriends/husbands now hate because you’ve made them look bad. See, I’ve got your back!!!!

~ Send your little minx resplendent orchids from Hawaii. They are simply exquisite and aromatic. I have received these as a thank you and it blew me away. The flowers lasted more than 2 weeks. This can be much less expensive than the traditional dozen roses and get the kind of reaction you’ll thank me for later. www.kaimuflowers.com

~ How about sending the most gigantic, eye-popping roses your heartthrob has ever encountered? Late comedian Rodney Dangerfield’s wife , a florist, founded Jungle Roses – roses grown in the Amazon jungle and rainforests in Latin America. They are picked and shipped same-day to your beloved. They arrive in a huge box. No one at the office will miss this one; the water cooler will be a-buzz, swear it. They have arrangements, 2 dozen roses, dozen roses, and the simply divine Petal Package (when I received it years ago it came with probably three hundred 3” rose petals for the bath, a scented candle, and some rosewater. Promise, Guy, you’ll score with this one!!!). www.jungleroses.com

You won’t be disappointed. Diva Endorsed. Order now. RIGHT now. Stop reading (until I post again). Get going on it. Shoo! (come back soon!)
XOXO

A Chaser of Valentine's Anti-Venom

2008-02-06T10:30:00.000-06:00

I've been plagued with thoughts to accomodate you darling readers who HATE Valentine's Day. I'm on it. Been there. Snapped out of it - 'cause I have little kids and you just can't be cynical about V-Day AND be an inspiring parent. They don't get it. That, and the Main Squeeze rocks my world (sorry, but he does; I'm just sickeningly happy).

This article is so funny as it bashes all the stupid, bad/weird plot, movie love comedy genre that you probably love and hate at the same time. http://movies.msn.com/new-on-dvd/feature-article/?news=298765&Gt1=7701

It's worth a read even if you're not pissed about Valentine's Day.

Valentine Ideas for your Special Treat

2008-02-06T09:51:00.000-06:00

Wondering what you can do for your special squeeze that will bring out the tempting and delicious this Valentine’s Day? Once again, your Diva races to inspire you in your moment of need. On the up side, you still have about a week to do something fabulous. But that’s not an excuse to allow you to waste another precious minute. Hop to it, Sweetheart!

The first requirement is to procure a card of some type to present your loved one expressing your gratitude that you are not alone and s/he keeps putting up with you. Please sign it before being in the glowing presence of your significant other. You’re not off the hook with just a card, so keep paying attention!

Well, a gift is nice. Start with these suggestions (BTW not hints for the Main Squeeze):
~ Diamond earrings. They are a girl’s best friend. And they are forever. Can’t go wrong with those! This is not for the faint of heart or faint of wallet, either! For guys, heart-shaped cuff links or a watch can do the trick.
~ Sexy lingerie. I like to refer to it as the gift that keeps on giving. But that’s entirely up to you.
~ Chocolate. Traditional Valentine’s gift. UNLESS your precious peach is on a temporary diet, then steer clear. And DO NOT go for the no-sugar, no fat type of chocolate if that’s the case – just drop it and choose something else altogether. Trust me on this.
~ Flowers are always wonderful. If your recipient is frugal, know that now is the time to start planting roses, so buy a rosebush for your gardening enthusiast and enjoy more than one dozen roses for a lot longer than a bouquet. And I hope by now all you guys are NOT buying roses at the grocery store. Gag!
~ A bottle of wine for your wonderful wine enthusiast. What’s more appropriate to go with a romantic dinner than a personally picked, hand delivered bottle of wine? There may still be time to order a personal label for your wine with a sweet message ....
~ A new pair of shoes. And I’m not talkin’ Addidas here, either, sport -- UNLESS you think she wants you to catch her and she needs appropriate footwear.
~ Digital camera – so you can capture all your special memories together. Aaawww. Isn’t that sweet?
~ While nothing can compare to the gentle touch of your hands, consider one of those electric massagers – to ease the stress of your temporary separation, of course.
~ A new watch will ensure the one who puts that sparkle in your eye will never be late for that fabulous dinner you’re about to arrange. If you REALLY want to score points, arrange for the babysitter, too.

More later. And I will have guy gift ideas.
XOXO!

Next Party? MARDI GRAS!!!!

2008-02-04T14:31:00.000-06:00

Now that I've eaten all those tres delish appetizer foods required at Super Bowl parties, I'm on a "rouller" and eagerly anticipate Fat Tuesday tomorrow. In case you don't know, it's the day that you stuff yourself silly with food and libations before you renew your "what I'm not going to eat/drink" New Year's resolutions and hit Ash Wednesday, the reflective and serious time in the liturgical calendar a.k.a. Lent.

Mardi Gras is technically just ONE DAY (thank GOD!!! Our collective livers couldn't handle it otherwise), not all the days and weeks between January 6th and Fat Tuesday - a common misconception. This time frame is called "Carnival" and is not only celebrated in New Orleans, Mobile, Houston, and other Gulf Coast cities of French Canadian ancestry, but also in Rio, Venice, throuough the Carribean, and Latin America. Almost a global party (OK, primarily limited to heavily Catholic populated countries). But the culmination is tomorrow, Fat Tuesday.

Here's how to get festive for the 10th annual party at Saucy Diva's house or whatever Mardi Gras party you're attending:

~ The colors are green (faith), gold (power) and purple (justice). Bright and blingy is what you're going for, Poodle.

~ Costumes are encouraged, but not a have-to. Don't leave home, though, without a boa or mask, though it's all about the beads - lots and lots of beads. You can pick up these lovely, cheap accessories at Party City.

~ The music of the evening is either zydeco or New Orleans brass jazz band

~ Want a festive adult libation to get you in the mood to wear that mask all night? Try a hurricane (3/4 oz. Bacardi Limon rum,1 oz. Bacardi light rum,1/4 oz. Bacardi 151 rum, pineapple juice, orange juice, grenadine, sweet & sour mix; to make nonalcoholic use ginger ale or Sprite). Ah, I'm waxing nostolgic about Pat O'Brien's .... Snapping out of it.

~ What's a party-going diva/dude to eat? It is important to have something (preferably A LOT) in your stomach to help absorb all that alcohol. Fill your plate with dirty rice, crawfish etouffe, gumbo, jumbalaya, shrimp creole, or even just good ole' fried chicken. For dessert, it's king cake and Moon Pies. Not so great for that waistline, huh Princess? Party today, repent later, I always say.

I'm off to find my boa, confirm the babysitter, and grab a snooze in preparation for tomorrow's festivities. XOXO

I'm ALMOST Speechless

2008-02-01T10:33:00.000-06:00

Back on the insane celebrity gossip end of my spectrum, I turn to the recent story about David Beckham, soccer star's newest tatoo. Yes, I'm plunging to the depths of the bowels of the writing cesspool. Here is a link to the Marie Claire article, should you wish to find further information http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/celebrity/176828/david-beckham-gets-new-posh-tattoo.html

This was forwarded to me in an email (sorry, I don't know the source):
While David Beckham allegedly strayed from his marriage in the past, women looking for a hook up in the future will find the indelible proof of his marital status inked on his muscular left forearm – a six-inch tattoo of his wife, Victoria.
“They are both thrilled with the result,” said a source quoted by Hello magazine. “It has been beautifully done. Victoria is flattered."
The 11th addition to Becks’ growing gallery of body art, this latest design depicts his “Posh” wife as a bare-breasted angel, surrounded by stars. The new image wraps around an older inscription of Victoria’s name written in Hindi.
“He thinks she’s his angel,” said another insider, “which is why he got an image of her among the stars.” But it isn’t all about Posh. Friends say Becks is well on the way to emulating the lead character on his favorite show, “Prison Break,” whose upper torso is completely covered in tattoos.

OF COURSE, now it's becoming evident, Becks is a gangsta' wanna' be, but he's a soccer stud until such time. Insert my eye-roll here.

A message to the Main Squeeze (and anyone else who cares) THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC to this Dish. AT ALL. DO NOT CONSIDER FOR VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT. It is just gross and a waste of money. Can you imagine what this will look like when he turns 85, for example, and the wrinkles skew the "art"?! There are other ways to state that you are married and to BACK THE @#$^ off. Billboards? wedding rings? I just am not certain that a potential chick looking for squeezing with Posh's husband is going to be able to FIND the wife's tatoo in and amongst all the other stuff going on that "canvass".

What's a Party Girl to do?

2008-01-28T21:47:00.000-06:00

Can you believe all the social things out there right now? Who was it who said that the Christmas season is the busiest? Lordy. I can't catch my breath, but that's another story entirely. Here's a brief run-down in quasi-order:
~ Thursday marks the Western start to the Chinese New Year. It's the year of the Rat and will be year 4076, in case you were wondering where in the hell we were now. Ok, the Year of the Rat embodies hard work, lots of activity, and renewal. The Chinese insist it is a great year to begin a new job, get married, launch a product, or make a fresh start. If your calendar won't allow you a Thursday night Chinese soiree, not to worry, my little Peking Dumpling! It's sort of like Kwanzaa ... er ... kinda' ... in that it goes on for many days (15 to be exact); it's called the Lantern Festival and each night has a theme - and we do love a good theme, n'est pas?! The food you eat each night has significance. Some nights you're supposed to be with extended family; other nights, you get a break. Anyway, red's the color to wear for this fete. Decorate your doorway, give away lucky coins, and hang lanterns should the spirit move you.

~ Sunday, of course, is the superbowl. Eat lots of salty, unhealthy food and you're in like Flynn. If you barbeque something, more power to you. For you divas who aren't into sports, here are the basics to understand before leaving for that "football party thingy": The New York Giants are playing the New England Patriots. Of course, the game is held this year in Arizona. Bonus points, Cookie, if you can talk at length about the stadium, its purpose, AND the regional nature of this particular match-up with supposedly the largest TV viewing audience potential impact despite the game not being played anywhere near either team's hometowns. Wear whatever you want, though red, white, and blue will pretty much cover either team. Drink loads of beer. Go to work Monday morning still drunk. Visit www.espn.com before talking to any Dude prior to, during, or after the game if you haven't been following this season, the Brett Favre heartbreak, the Little Brother going to the Big Game and Big Brother staying home (so to speak) -- just to name a few of my favorite topics of conversation. GIRL TALK BREAK-DOWN of the SUPERBOWL: Tom Brady is that hunky quarterback that broke up with Bridgett Monihan (sp?) right before the baby info was known in order to date the supermodel, but is making attempts, despite a demanding football career and schedule to be an on-the-scene dad. He plays for New England. Eli Manning is the Giants' quarterback. He played football for Ole Miss (as did his dad, I believe - hey, it was before my time, so gimme a break!). His brother, Peyton, is the QB for the Indianapolis Colts - but forget him for right now; they lost a heartbreaker a few weeks ago. Peyton played for Tennessee undergrad. Anyway, the Manning family men have strange looking noses, which does not seem to interfere with their football ability whatsoever. OK. Moving along ....

~ Mardi Gras is in full "rouller". I will have to do a post just on this. I'm sensing non-sports-minded-potential-diva-overwhelm at this juncture. I'll be gentle, Precious Princess, and let you digest this before moving on to the party that requires two languages, beer goggles, floats, and insane amounts of accessories - er, or not.

XOXO!

Relationship Related Topic

2008-01-24T21:28:00.000-06:00

I was breakfasting this AM with a delicious morsel of a friend. During the course of the conversation, it turned to Relationship Rules. These were offered and I thought they would benefit the Good of the Group of Divas/Dudes - whether you're in a relationship or it's time to have a chat with a child about relationship boundaries. Food for thought:

It's all over when any of the following occur:
- The other person says, "I don't love you anymore." Yep, that's the fork in the proverbial meat there, n'est pas? If they say it and later try to say they didn't mean it, leave anyway 'cause it's just hateful and that's ... well, not loving. AT ALL.
- The other person gets so mad that s/he leaves you somewhere by yourself (side of the road, at a party without a word of goodbye, etc.). In this day and age, safety is a big deal. Feeling safe in a relationship is a big deal. This situation occurs, the other party is bluntly telling you that s/he doesn't care one whit what happens to you. It's OVER.
- Physical contact - not of the good kind- out of anger. There's no excuse for that ... EVER. The other person is willing to hurt you to the point it leaves physical evidence. Yeah. OVER.

While these are Splendid, I knew these would get you contributing because there is more meat here. Does anyone else have any relationship rules of non-engagement (so to speak)? It is, after all, for the good of the group. DISH!!!!
XOXO!

Airing out Dirty Laundry

2008-01-23T08:13:00.000-06:00

Like opinions and other things, everyone’s got this, too – dirty laundry. And it’s come to my attention that nobody really knows the dirt on it! So, I’m here to iron out some of the kinks.

Recently, a newly divorced dad emailed me desperately seeking the truth about dirty laundry. Apparently his teen-age daughter insisted that colors and whites be washed in the same load. He didn’t think it sounded quite right, but needed a referee. While it seems like a time-saver, I suggested he let her know that the end result of that color co-mingling would be gray undies, which aren’t the rage at dance or in the locker room. Another teenager saved from ultimate embarrassment. Sigh!

We all get those emails about how Coca-cola cleans toilet bowls and other outrageous-sounding tips. Even stuff about laundry. I’ve now done the research on several of them and have amassed help for you languishing about laundry.

Unabashed Product Endorsement.
I love, love, LOVE Oxy-Clean. A mama can’t get through white pants baseball season without a tub or two of it. I still haven’t gotten through all 100+ uses for the product. I may need to do a segment just on this amazing invention, but I digress.

Basic Laundry Tips:
~ Read the labels on your clothes before plopping into the wash. You don’t have to remember which type of fabric or color goes in what temperature.
~ Generally speaking, separate into 3 categories (especially when you do laundry all the time like I do) – whites, darks, and pastels for best results.
~ Inside out: turn dark clothes inside out (including jeans) to prevent fading. This also helps prevent piling (you know, nubby knots that form on the fabric of your clothes making them look old)
~ ALWAYS empty the lint trap every single time you dry clothes in the dryer. Also, occasionally vacuum around your dryer. Your local fire department thanks you.
~ Do you ever wonder how to separate the white shirt that has red trim? They’re marked washable, but you’re afraid the color will run. If it does run, DO NOT put it in the dryer – dryers set stains. Try washing it again. While bleach may take out the newly formed pink, it will also blanch out the red trim. Good luck.
~ Should you use dryer sheets? This is a personal preference. They can be a skin irritant, but they also keep static at bay. If you do use them, you may want to save some dough by cutting the sheet in half.
~ If you have heavily stained items, eg. a baseball uniform that slid into home plate and brought half the ball field home, wash it separately from other clothes.
~ Read the box – your detergent will tell you the best way to use it. Did you know that water temperature, amount of detergent, and the timing of the load all goes into how well your clothes get clean?! Yep. True story.
~ Towels sometimes share lots of lint with other clothes. Wash them separately. And dry them separately, as a matter of fact, since they can take longer to dry out.

Stain Removal Procedures:
~ Fresh stains are MUCH easier to remove than old ones, so take care of stains as fast as you can.
~ Blot up excess liquid with a clean white cloth, paper, or other towel. Remove solids by scraping or chipping with a dull knife.
~ Never rub a fresh stain with a bar soap – it can set the stain.
~ Use cold water on stains – the heat can set a stain, especially a protein stain.
~ Try not to rub a stain. Rubbing can spread a stain, damage fiber or finish of fabric.
~ Don’t iron over a stain before washing.
~ When you take your stained item out of the wash load, check to see if it was removed before you put it in the dryer.
~ Pre-treaters are a wonderful invention. Besides Oxy-Clean, I also love Spray N Wash. One or the other or a careful mixture of the two will pretty much get out anything that leaps on your clothes.

Unique Stain Treatment Tips:
~ Chewing gum: Apply ice to harden the gum. Crack or scrape off excess. Spray with pre-treatment, rub with liquid detergent. Rinse with hot water.
~ Deodorant stains on washable shirts: Test on a hidden spot first!!! Sponge on or soak in white vinegar for 30 minutes. Launder shirt in hottest water safe for the fabric.
~ Glitter on clothing: Some of those glittery girly shirts share the sparkle with everything else in your load. Spray the original shirt with aerosol hair spray to make it stay put AND wash alone and turn it inside out.
~ Grease: Sprinkle cornstarch or baby powder over the grease stain
~ Ink: Rubbing alcohol on the stain will take it out, but be pretty precise because it can take color out of fabric.
~ Rust and mineral stains: Add 1 cup of bottled lemon juice to the load to remove discoloration from cotton laundry.
~ Soiled shirt collars: Using a small paintbrush, brush liquid detergent into the soiled area.
~ Spaghetti stain: Grab some Oxy-Clean and a small laundry brush or toothbrush, rub it in, and launder.

Mistakes to Avoid (like the content in those “helpful” emails)

~ Dishwasher detergent on clothes. Nope, they’re for dishes, not fabric.
~ Hair spray on ink. They can deposit a gummy residue. Yuck!
~ Ironing candle wax actually drives the stain in deeper to the fabric.
~ Milk on Ink. You’re adding a protein to a stain? What are you thinking?
~ So, now you have the low-down on laundry. You’re free to move on to other, more important issues like having fun getting your clothes dirty playing with your kids! Good clean fun, I’d say!

Cheer! (and Tide, and Woolite, and Biz … yeah, I know I’m corny!)

K-Fed / Brittany Custody Crisis = NOT NORMAL

2008-01-15T14:33:00.000-06:00

Doncha' just love the stupid things stars say?! Some days, it really keeps me going. This being the icing on the proverbial cake.

K-Fed in an interview posted this morning on People Magazine's website http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20171844,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines says :
"I think the infatuation with the whole thing is that watching us go through things [custody hearing] makes other people feel normal."

Pumpkin, NO! This is NOT NORMAL. I've been through a custody fight and your way ain't textbook; nowhere is it close to "normal". In fact, I follow this mental-bubble-gum gossip stuff and it makes me feel somewhat SUPERIOR TO YOU. Not in the whole checkbook balance arena, but in the real life stuff. Heck, I can wear a trench coat over my old wedding dress and go shopping for a Mercedes with a friend, too. That ain't normal, either, but I could do it. It just would never occur to me to do that. Because it's not normal. So, no. The Peanut Gallery is not looking at your story to feel normal. We're gawking and pointing and snickering and pretty much thankful that we're not part of that soap opera. We are NOT thinking that because this is happening to you that our own stuff is normal. We don't equate your life and our lives as happening in the same world.

But, Feddie, Poodle, if you need to think that we think you're normal just to get through this absurd situation with your out of control estranged wife.... then go right ahead. Ooh, I am compelled to make one more teensy, tiny comment: It's not normal to have your bodyguard pick up your kids when it's your turn to have them. It's your responsibility to transport YOUR kids. Sure, making arrangements for their transportation is technically fine BUT outside of continual court appearances and what with the writers' strike (you could be going on Conan or something, I suppose, to talk trash to fill your days), I don't see that you're doing a whole heck of a lot work-wise. What's to fill your time with besides transporting your children to say the park or Michael Jackson's home for a fun-filled afternoon? (Again, besides court and the lawyer meetings) So go pick up your own flesh and blood children YOURSELF if you want me to think that you're a credible, loving parent who will take the very best care of those helpless creatures with a freak-show for a mother for the love of Pete.

Why am I not a judge? Oh yeah. You wouldn't be able to see my fabulous shoes behind the bench. Right.

Cheers to Diva WineKnow

2008-01-12T10:41:00.000-06:00

Please note that I have added Diva WineKnow's new blog to my list of Faves (lower left on the page). I am delighted to see an informative spot to check out wine info. I hope you will visit the blog and Jennifer's store in Vestavia. I'm heading that way just as soon as we polish off the cases of Bombay Cafe house wine that The Main Squeeze purchased for our last party. Let's just say that my garage, a.k.a. Wine Cellar (ha!), is a fire hazzard currently. Such problems this Main Dish has ....

Clutter Tips Continued

2008-01-09T09:51:00.001-06:00

Well, that closet is looking a lot better now, so I'm back with more tips to keep you going with those resolutions.

Sorting
Get several boxes as you go through each area.
· “keep”
· “trash”
· “not sure”
· “sell” (consigment, yard sale)
· “give away”
· “needs parts” (in order for them to work right AND you intend to fix in short order)
· “return to rightful owner”

Storage Solutions
~ Create a home for everything.
~ Have a good reason for putting something in a particular location (like it’s near where you use it)
~ Make things you use often easy to access / reach
~ Keep climate in mind – consider humidity, cold, and insects
~ Leave 15% of your space free for future additions
~ Use see-through containers whenever possible
~ Label every container so you know the contents – additional idea: put a list of contents in the top of the box

Think you’re out of space? Have you thought of these places:
~ Under all the beds in the house
~ Clean out your bookshelves and donate books you’re never going to read again. Get baskets with lids to put in the empty space.
~ Get rid of appliances you don’t use (that one’s a jewel, Peaches!)

Rules of De-cluttering Engagement:
~ When in doubt, throw it out.
~ Use it or lose it
~ Store for efficiency
~ You MUST PURGE once a year
~ Recycle whenever possible
~ Pick a number and stick with it (you don’t need 82 pens in your house unless you have 41 residents living there! And if that’s the case, I sure hope you have a full-time chef who’s not you!)
~ A place for everything and everything in its place
~ Don’t save things to do “later”. Deal with it now. If you can’t decide, refer to the top of this list
~ Label containers
~ Get help. Call a friend or relative. DO NOT CALL ME; I will simply refer you to someone fabulous but expensive.

This week Target, K-Mart and others are slashing prices on their storage containers and baskets to help us all keep those resolutions. Load up on the things now. XOXO

Resolving Clutter No More? Clutter Busters

2008-01-08T09:20:00.000-06:00

Lots of us resolved to do a better job with the homestead. Specifically, the clutter that eventually takes over our lives, and the helpless feelings that ensue. It doesn’t help that holiday decorations are still lingering. So, here’s a high-heeled swift kick in the beautifully-draped-pants to get you in gear.

Planning to Attack
~ Determine which room / area / facet drives you the craziest and start there
~ Create a list of the areas and rank the priorities
~ Set a deadline for accomplishing the project
~ Break your project into baby steps – drawers, cabinet, shelf, etc.
~ Start at the door of the room and work your way around the room.
~ Finish one area before starting another

Interrogation – What to ask to determine keeping versus tossing:
~ When was the last time you used it?
~ When will you need it again?
~ Is it easily replaceable?
~ What’s the worst thing that would happen if you got rid of it?
~ Is it beautiful, useful, or loved?

Getting Rid of Excuses
~ “It was expensive and I don’t want it to go to waste” – Gong! If you don’t use it, it IS being wasted. Change your mindset.
~ “I might need it someday.” - Doubtful. If you haven’t used it in a year, when do you suppose that magic moment will come?
~ “It was a gift” – Ah! You’re sentimental. Move on! Once you graciously received a gift and thanked the generous soul, it is yours to do with as you see fit. I say, trash it, baby!
~ “I’m saving it for my kids”. Wow. Really sentimental. Maybe they’ll grow up to be just like you – a pack rat.
~ “It’s too nice to throw away.” - Give it the old heave-ho, Babycakes. Pass it along to a friend or neighbor who may find it to be just the thing.

Wow! After all this, I'm inspired to go work on a closet. More later, Poodle!
XOXO

Auto Diva

2008-01-04T12:56:00.000-06:00

I've just set up a Google Group due to requests that people be sent a reminder to check the blog. If you want to sign up and have my post emailed to your In Box, please sign up here.

http://groups.google.com/group/dishinwiththedivas?hl=en

We'll see how it works. Comments and questions may be posted there also ... er ... I think.

XOXO

Fridge Fritz Factoids

2008-01-03T19:13:00.000-06:00

A diva never knows what she'll return home to after an effortless get-away. This time, it was a dead 'fridge-freezer. I walked in and thought Tony the Terminex guy couldn't have just left. But that's precisely what it smelled like, but worse.

The Main Squeeze sprang into action after I got SO ticked with Sears Customer Service/Repairs (10 days to come out to fix the dad-gum appliance, my @$$). He found Mr. Appliance. LOVE THEM!!!! They showed up to the Diva Digs in under 2 hours of the call. Mr. Appliance, who's son we hope will get into Georgia Tech in the Fall (cross your fingers), fixed the blown gizmo and didn't charge the service call in addition to the repair cost. Saved me $60 (even better than the $95 Sears wants to charge to show up and ring your doorbell).

While that's all well and wonderful, he spent 10 minutes on a tour of my kitchen giving me tips, which I'll pass along to you, 'cause they're splendid.
1. Get Jet Dry for your dishwasher and use it. Especially due to the drought, which is kicking up more mineral deposits than usual in our diminishing water sources, drains and small holes are getting clogged with minerals. Jet Dry helps break them down and keep the clogs from forming. Just saved you a big repair-a-clog bill there.
2. On several oven models, it is not a good idea to use the Self Clean feature. According to Mr. Appliance, he has yet to make a service call due to Easy Off. He has seen melted/cracked glass on the window, melted stove wire casings, and other catastrophes due to the temperature of the automatic self clean reaching more than 1,400 DEGREES. So, use Easy Off.
3. When you lift the stove lid to clean the area between the drip pans and the top of your oven, do not set a bowl of water there. This had, frankly, never occurred to me- I just use a sponge or Chlorox wipes. Mr. Appliance told me that he has seen the entire stove shorted out due to the bowl of water spilling. Stick with the wipes, Princess.

Mr. Appliance fixes everything except microwaves and TVs, which I'm told you should just replace because it will be less expensive.

Off to get those Cholorx wipes to clean out the fridge and freezer and then re-load all the stuff from my garage fridge and coolers. Toodles!

Guest Column - a la carte by Diva Wine-Know

2008-01-02T14:27:00.000-06:00

Top 10 Reasons to NOT Give up Wine for the New Year
by Jennifer Scarborough, owner, The Wine Cellar, Vestavia Hills

Every January we see a trend in the Wine Biz. May it be everyone is receiving their credit card balances in the mail or people are trying to dry out after the holidays we cannot say. But one thing is for sure…people for the most part stop buying wine! So let me see if I can help you decide what to kick & what to keep for your New Year’s Resolution or Resolutions.

1. Drinking Red Wine with fried foods may counter act the effect of the fat attack. Studies find that people who drink wine daily have lower body mass than those who indulge occasionally; moderate wine drinkers have narrower waists and less abdominal fat than people who drink liquor. That right there is a 2-for-1 on your resolutions!
2. Cancer runs in your family? Resveratrol (antioxidant) helps prevent cancer by limiting tumor growth. Red wine is high in flavonoids (a type of polyphenol), which are antioxidants. One of the most studied antioxidants is resveratrol, which comes from grape skins and seeds. Antioxidants help prevent certain molecules, known as free radicals, from damaging cells.
3. Wine drinkers less likely to get common cold. An investigation revealed that men and women who drank more than 14 glasses of wine each week had a 40% reduction in colds compared with people who drank no alcohol. The association was stronger for red wine and the same findings were not true for people consuming other alcoholic beverages, the report indicates. On average, the men had 1.1 colds per person per year in that time, while women averaged 1.7 colds per person per year. Bottoms up!
4. Wine is expensive & you are cutting down on your spending this year. So not true, at The Wine Cellar we have wines to fit everyone’s budget & a monthly Newsletter with discounts. Also if you buy in bulk you save an additional 5 to 10% on the already marked down items.
5. Too many calories in alcoholic beverages. It is all about portion control & moderation…Red wine 3.5oz - 74 calories… White wine 3.5oz - 70 calories.
6. Forgetful? Wine could preserve your memory. When researchers gave memory quizzes to women in their 70s, those who drank one glass of wine or more every day scored much better than those who drank less or not at all.
7. Just breathe… Researchers have found that men who drink an average of four to seven glasses of red wine per week are only 52% as likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer as those who do not drink red wine, reports the June 2007 issue of Harvard Men’s Health Watch. Men won’t need another reason…
8. Have a Uterus? Australian researchers recently compared women with ovarian cancer and cancer-free women; they found that roughly one glass of wine a day seemed to reduce the risk of the disease by as much as 50 percent. Think Prince will sing a song about that?
9. Would you rather eat spinach once daily or drink a glass of wine? On average, women who drink moderately seem to have higher bone mass than abstainers. Alcohol appears to boost estrogen levels; the hormone seems to slow the body’s destruction of old bone more than it slows the production of new bone.
10. Well I believe we covered everything but the most important part…Wine is Delicious! How could you live without it?

Pair it with a meal, loved one, or a night alone nothing makes you feel as Fine as Wine!

Cheers!

Jennifer Scarborough - Wine Know

Hope to save you some dough

2007-12-29T23:05:00.001-06:00

While you're watching those fantastic football line-ups, I know you're going to start packing away all the Christmas decorations. Before you run out to get those pricey, yet seemingly essential Ornament Organizers, please check this idea out. I don't know exactly were I read about it many years ago, but it really works. I've been using this packing method about 4 years and I haven't lost/cracked/damaged an ornament by storing it this way so far. Here's what you do:
Get a cheap, plastic bin and fill it with plastic Dixie party cups (read: beer cup, not the kind you use to rinse your mouth when brushing!). Put paper towel in the bottom of the cup and wrap the ornament's sides with another one. Here's the visual (I just snapped it like 5 minutes ago!). Make sure all ornaments fit inside the cup area and allow for head-room when you snap on the cover. Notice that some of the ornaments are inserted "head down" for best packing stability. I put unbreakable ornaments in between the cups to stabilize them. For this photo, I took out several of the side paper towel "packaging" for you to best see the effect.

Hope it works for you as well as it works for me, Cupcake! Now, I've got one tree packed away; only one more to go.... Another day. Whew! Hard work!

Happy New Year, Divas and Dudes!!! May 2008 be the most delightful year yet!!! XOXO

The Space Between

2007-12-27T16:17:00.000-06:00

What is a diva to do between the Christmas Holiday and New Year's? My suggestions, random order:

Are you kidding? Shop. Man, they're just giving away stuff at department stores, except for what I REALLY want (designer purse, the particular pair of black Clarks clogs, etc.), but you will not leave disappointed. The Main Squeeze was treated to a shopping spree and got great stuff for half price - so double the present!!!
Visit friends, especially those in from out of town. Take wine, but of course. Swing by Diva Wine-Know's (Jennifer, do you like your Nom de Diva???) The Wine Cellar in Vestavia City Center near Publix. She and her staff are wonderful!!! While you're there, contemplate your mental plans for a wine cellar at your diva digs. A girl can dream.
Plan your Spring Break vacation if you haven't done so already
Make plans to send your kids to summer camp. Need ideas? http://www.alabamacamps.org/ Trained staffs will entertain junior for up to an entire month. Now, THAT's relaxing!
Travel. I'm heading to the beach with the extended family. My dad's feeling so well and all my sisters and brother will be there with everyone - thanks to all who've asked, emailed, and sent inquiries about my dad after his quadruple bypass surgery. He's walking 3+ miles a day. Amazing.
Do laundry. I'm trying to work it in between shopping excursions while the kids are away. It's tough to schedule, you know.
Take a long soak. I actually did this last night with Epsom salt and scents. Wow! It was a treat.
Get a mani/pedi
Shop for a new car. The dealers want to get rid of inventory. Want a Benz? I recommend Comer Automotive. http://www.comerautomobile.com/ Check out their fantastic prices. You will not beleive how excellent and fair their service is. Tell Greg I sent you. They have BEE-U-TI-FUL cars. (Tell Jeff I'll be calling for service work soon.)
While you're at Comer shopping, have Quinton to detail the car you want to keep. He does a splendid job.

Well, that should keep you busy for a little while. I've got more content to work on to post soon. Toodles, Poodle! XOXO

More Christmas Copying

2007-12-19T15:15:00.000-06:00

Diva Katherine and Pink Drink Queen emailed me the Christmas Version of Getting to Know Your Friends. Thought I'd share mine with you, Poodle:

Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags until I run out or don’t have the right size
Real tree or Artificial? Both. I’m allergic to tree sap as we’ve previously discussed, but have a real one downstairs and a fake one upstairs, which I am delighted to report will stay in tact (just without decorations) and be stored in my ample storage space when ‘tisn’t the season.
When do you put up the tree? As fast as possible after Thanksgiving. I just LOVE Christmas and want it to last as long as possible and get here as soon as is un-annoying.
When do you take the tree down? My goal is to have everything down by Valentine’s Day. It really takes that pressure off and generally, I’m quite successful
Do you like egg nog? Not at all. I feel freakish about it, but I chock it up to lactose intolerance.
Favorite gift received as a child? Barbie Dream Condo (3 stories, thank you) with an elevator. Hands DOWN!!!! It was the BEST Barbie thing EVER. I simply cannot imagine why they don’t make it any more, except perhaps it was cheap and fell apart with great regularity, not that I cared one whit. I was the luckiest girl in the world. The other great Santa surprises were the strings that led from the stockings to the matching bikes that Caroline and I got one year. Mine = blue; Caroline’s = red. The next year, the string led to a TRAMPOLINE that was set up in the garage and was moved to the yard after the rain-soaked ground could handle the trauma of bouncing children.

However, the gift that I have used FOREVER is my clock radio that I’ve had since I was 8. Thanks, Santa! It’s still by my bed. It’s huge and the numbers are a strange shade of green that has grown on me over the years. I think I’ll lord that over my kids and add to my “take care of your things so they’ll last a long time” lecture.

Favorite Christmas gift ever? PHOEBE!!! The cat that one sister found for me and named. She was the best pet for me. I just loved her! I still miss her tons!!!! She was the greatest present I’ve EVER gotten. So far, she’s the best pet I’ve ever had. Jingle, the cat-who-thinks-he's-a-dog is fine for now. Maybe a Sheltie will enter my world at some point and restore that exuberance of mommy-pet love that I know can exist.
Do you have a nativity scene? I have 3. The third, I hate particularly robustly, so I haven’t even gotten it out. It’s kind of like Precious Moments Nativity. Especially horrible. Why didn’t I force that on the ex-spouse? I dunno. Probably because I forced a plastic one with a light bulb on him from his childhood and felt some lingering feelings about trying to be fair and take a terrible one for myself. The problem is he probably doesn’t think the light-up plastic one is offensive at all. I digress. The others, though, are nice – one Italian one that a dear gave me when I got married and each year she adds another piece for a Christmas present. The other one, the mom-in-law brought back from Ireland. Heck, we had like 6 nativity sets. I divvied them up and freed up a lot of space in the storage area. I’m pleased to have the Irish one. Any takers on the “adorable” Precious Moments-esque one?

Hardest person to buy for? The Main Squeeze
Easiest person to buy for? My kids
Mail or email Christmas cards? This year it’s leaning heavily towards email. The mail cards haven’t gotten out reliably in 2 years. I get a batch or two out and then they wind up on my closet floor addressed and everything, just can’t seem to hit the mailbox from there. I don’t understand it, but it seems to be a thing.
Worst Christmas gift ever received? Well, I’ve never admitted this, but one year, I wanted a puppy so bad for Christmas. I mean REAL BAD. My dad HATES animals (But thanks to his wonderful wife, he’s since softened a little), so there was no chance in hell I was getting one, but I was still hoping that because I wanted it so badly, my parents would get it for me. No dice. I was 8 (same year as the clock radio). Santa brought me a placebo stuffed dog. White with brown spots and ears. I jumped up and down and put my face in it – only to hide my real emotion of sheer and utter disappointment (yep, I’m a total people pleaser). A few years later, a sister threw up all over it on a LONG car trip when my dad was driving on a curvy road like a bat out of hell (it was renamed Barfy at that moment – Seriously, my mother referred to it as Barfy the dog). We had to check into a motel just to clean up that poor wretch and throw that stuffed dog away. Hmmm… it’s not too late to turn this story into a country music song, is it?
Favorite Christmas movie? Love Actually
When do you start shopping for Christmas? I usually shop throughout the year due to sheer overwhelm of the Birthday Extravaganza of the boys’ Fall birthdays.
Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Most definitely. Bad wine that some lovely yet unsophisticated/cheap friend unknowingly purchased. I give it to another lovely yet unsophisticated friend and strongly suggest she cook with it.
Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Hooch dressing when possible. I also love oysters at Christmas – an adult onset thing.
Clear lights or colored on the tree? Both. See the two trees response. The fake one has mini colored lights. The live one has mini white lights. I do like Katherine’s idea of mixing sizes of white lights.
Favorite Christmas song? Well, I must start by saying that The First Noel bores the poof out of me. I just hate it a lot. On a more festive note: There is a simply gorgeous duet of O, Holy Night that about brings me to tears when I hear it. Then, there’s the Boston College University Chorale “theme song” Tolite Hostias (I have no idea how to spell it any more) which I am fairly certain you’d not be able to call that one up without some work with Google and then you still may not recognize it. It’s just festive and super fun to sing, which I have with my two BC Chorale alumnae sisters. Then, there’s the #1 Choral Hit of Christmas or Ever for that matter, the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also include Handel’s other best hit according to moi: For Unto Us a Child is Born. And in my heart of hearts, the solo I’m dying for someone to ask me to perform is Gesu Bambino (it’s the song that incorporates O, Come All Ye Faithful and has lots of pretty grace notes throughout). I sing that in the playroom to the toys on a regular basis (they’re a wonderful audience!). So, those are my top faves along with several secret musical confessions.
Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home for the event. Travel after a day or two of recovering from it AND while the boys are with their dad.
Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Yep. I also know the real words to the start of “Santa Claus is coming to town”
Angel on the tree top or a star? Stars on both. I would love an angel, but they all look like stupid, bad dolls and I just can’t bring myself to pay for cheap looking angels.
Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning.
Most annoying thing about this time of year? OH GOD!! Thanks for asking so I can scream this from the top of my hoarse lungs: those Radio Christmas Wish stories submitted by friends of people “in need” – like a dying couple, usually high school sweethearts married forever, still in love, who have been violently crushed by 1,000 pound steel coils (or something obscure and freakish), yet one is still miraculously working the factory production job with merely one arm and in a wheelchair due to her having no legs anymore while the husband is on a ventilator in ICU and their 8 children are in diapers, living with caring neighbors. SHUT UP!!! Like a turkey and a $200 Visa Gift Card are going to make a freakin’ dent!!!! GET REAL - HOW can they cook the stupid turkey in their conditions?! This is not helpful!!! They’ll have to puree it for Ventilator Husband! Where are people from their church?!?!? I swear, I think the striking writers are submitting these tales of woe. It’s NOT REAL! Give me a break. I can’t change the station fast enough. If I hear one more sobbing woman before 9:00, I’m going to find Barfy. Moving on….
Favorite ornament theme or color? I do several shades of red with gold. I collect Santa ornaments from around the world.
Favorite for Christmas dinner? Anything I don’t cook.
What do you want for Christmas this year? Here’s Katherine’s Response: I'll have to go with Molly on this one - are you kidding? I always want jewelry! ; )
I want a keyboard/piano. I was going to get it myself and found out that someone special was getting that for me. So, this year, Santa’s bringing me a faux fur throw from Tar-jhet (on sale for $19!), chocolates, maybe some music, and a piece of a garage organization system.

Christmas Copying

2007-12-17T11:17:00.001-06:00

To quote my 5 year old, I'm poofed! My dad had a quadruple bypass last week and I cooked for and hostessed a Christmas soiree to end all for the Main Squeeze within the last week. I can't feasibly get anything else in my garage (car? HA!). The laundry is somewhere in one of my storage rooms and the 5 year old is out of underwear. SO, I'm going to post a quick little entertainment that I got from a Diva on email to tide you over until my head's above water (and hopefully the decongestants kick in and don't make me sleepy!). Here are your Christmas Party Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. They're just God-awful. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Gingerbread Cookies

2007-12-06T09:29:00.000-06:00

Wonderful aromas from the kitchen are a great childhood memory of Christmas. You know Santa is on his way when you dress up for a Nutcracker performance and decorate gingerbread cookies. This is an old family recipe served up for you Divine Divas. Mmmm! I can almost smell the baking gingerbread. Ooh! Do I hear sleigh bells????? I just LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!

½ cup shortening
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1½ cups dark molasses
⅔ cup water
7 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp allspice
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp cloves
1 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350. Combine shortening, sugar, and molasses. Stir in water. Combine dry ingredients and add to creamed mixture, mixing well. Chill dough.

Roll dough ¼-inch think on lightly floured board. Cut with cookie cutters - I dip them in flour each time before cutting. Place far apart on greased sheets. Bake at 350 for 10 to 12 minutes. Yield 2½ dozen.

Spreading Cheer

2007-12-04T13:53:00.000-06:00

Food for thought:

If you're feeling blue, worried about troubles, I highly recommend you volunteer at a battered women's shelter, soup kitchen, or homeless shelter - pronto, Pumpkin. The Gorgeous Creatures (aka Choral Group) and I sang this morning at such a place, and it was a spiritual treat. I can't tell you who felt better at the end. Tissues were passed around both for the guests and for the performers. One of the women there told us after the performance that she was crying not because she was sad about her situation, rather that she felt happy for the first time in a long time. I'll tell you, it certainly serves up instant perspective.

Be merry, Cupcake! You have many blessings. I for one adore you!
XOXO

Shopping Strategies

2007-12-03T09:40:00.000-06:00

Out of the gate, I am compelled to tell you that I am a kamikaze shopper. I really don't like the malls. Stunning, n'est pas? But, they can come in handy around this time of the year - disgusting as they may seem (I have to pass a mall twice a day and dread it more and more as the traffic gets worse and worse). As a giving diva, I share my closely-guarded efficient shopping secrets with you, Poodle.
1. Of course, I find what I can on the internet - but that's sometimes more time-consuming than the mall (shriek!)
2. For those special people on your list, instead of giving a gift, give a memory. Which reminds me, Saucy Diva, when do you want to reschedule your birthday horseback ride? Oh! Back to the group ... a play, dinner out, a dinner in. For my kids, we put up the play tent in the living room, fill it with pillows, pop corn, and have movie marathons. They love it. 2 years ago at my nephew's, we watched Polar Express and ate s'mores that we cooked in the fireplace. We still talk about it with great fondness.
3. On that mall-avoiding note, you can create personalized gift certificates (my dad named them Goodfer's years ago 'cause it's "good for" something). Create a hiking outing, walk in the park, drive to the beach /mountains /country / Tuscaloosa, a knitting lesson, help decorating before a party ....
4. Visit locally-owned and operated stores. Katherine would love for each of you to call her at Jonathan Benton Booksellers and she will recommend books and take your order. (How much do you love me, Katherine????)
5. Shop at off-peak hours. Avoid lunch and post-school or post-work times. The least crowded times at the mall are when the stores just open. Check the paper or call the mall office for hours as they change closer to Christmas. In the same vein, shopping after 9 p.m. will avoid crowds.
6. Plants can make a nice gift for your gardening enthusiast (this Dish, though, kills inside plants, yet they flourish outside where they belong - so know your recipient on this).
7. Gifts in the Adult Beverage category are also great for us imbibers and do not require a trip to the mall.
8. Martha Stewart endorses homemade gifts. I plan on giving homemade salsa and tomato chutney made from items grown in my garden. I yearn for Divann's homemade cookies and treats. If you're at Chez Dish and you see a plate of delicious items from Divann - BACK AWAY. It has MY name on it, not yours. I'll share just about everything else, but not that. Dem's da berries.

Parking at the Mall
1. Don't try to find the closest spot. It does not exist. Plan on hiking and burn off those party calories.
2. Don't enter the first entrance. It's always more clogged.
3. Take a look-out when possible.
4. I seek those spots near the cart return and call that efficient (at Tar-jhay, of course!)
5. Do one loop and then give up - park at the back of the lot. Gas is getting expensive, my little Elf!

Good luck, Tinsel! XOXO!

Tree Tips, El Segundo

2007-12-01T21:04:00.000-06:00

Keeping that Fresh, Sprucy Tree … Fresh
Once you’ve selected your tree, make sure the tree “professionals” cut about 1 inch off the trunk above the base while you’re at the lot. This removes clogged wood from it that prevents the tree from taking in water.

I know it’s exciting to take your tree home and put it up right away, but DON’T! (if you didn't cut it down yourself). The first day at home, your tree should absorb about a gallon of water. I do a lot of flower arranging and the same is true with fresh cut flowers. Cut them, then plunge your fresh item into a large bucket of water. Check every 4-6 hours to see if re-watering is necessary.

Why is this important? A tree that is well hydrated is less likely to become a blazing inferno. Really, isn't this what we're all after?!

How to keep a tree fresh and perky:
~ Regular tap water without anything added is fine as long as you do not allow the tree to dry out (if it dries out, it can’t absorb moisture as well once re-watered)
~ If you are compelled to add stuff to your tree, then save your change and mix up 1 quart of water, ½ cup light corn syrup, and 1 TEASPOON liquid bleach. Why? Water keeps it watered. Corn syrup gives it sugar (and everyone needs a little sugar to spice up life now and again!). ~ The bleach kills all the growing science experiment that forms when water stands, becomes room temperature, and dust or whatever else from the ornaments falls into it. Just make sure your cat/dog keeps to the toilet bowl for her drinking water.

Ready to light that baby up?
~ Of course, check the lights. You already know that.
~ If you don’t want your forearms looking like you have a pox upon you, then don dishwashing gloves (they also help save your manicure, Precious!)
~ Work from the inside base and move to the outer edges. There’s a big debate in my family whether to wrap individual branches or string the lights in a spiral manner, but I’ll spare you.
~ For a 6 foot tree, you need about 400-600 lights; for an 8 foot tree, 600-800
~ Once the lights are on, add the garland. For a 6-foot tree, you need 85-90 feet of garland; for an 8-foot tree, 130-145 feet.
~ For ornaments, start with your filler ornaments (solid color balls, apples, etc.) then add your special ornaments.
~ You need about 20 “filler ornaments” for every 2 feet of tree. Or an overall total, for a 6-foot tree, you’ll need about 85 total ornaments; for an 8-foot tree about 200
~ To add dept and interest, hang ornaments both on the outside of branches and on the inside of them

I am feeling very good now that I have taken my kids to a Christmas parade and completed TWO trees (one fake, one live). On to decorating the outside of Chez Dish.

Tree Tips, One in a Series

2007-11-30T14:08:00.000-06:00

Ooooh! I just love, love, love this time of year!!! (do I sound like Eloise who lives at The Plaza or what?!) Despite being completely allergic to the Christmas tree sap, I can't wait to get a live one, decorate it, and admire it for nights on end. Whether it’s to make you feel festive, to shut the kids up, or feed your hungry vacuum cleaner … ‘tis the season, my Little Jingle, to get your tree.
Best Tree Tip #1. Before leaving for the lot, take your tree stand with you so that the tree can be cut to its specifications. Not only is this a frustration-saver, but you don’t have to break out the saw or clean up the ensuing mess.

Size Matters … so to speak. Measure the space (height and width) where the tree’s going before heading to the lot. Most standard rooms will easily fit a 7-foot tree; but if your room has a cathedral ceiling, you could go larger – just expect to pay a premium the larger the tree.

Great Rule of Thumb: Select a tree that is at least one foot shorter than the ceiling (you can fit that angel or star on it and accommodate the tree stand).

Freshness Dating (for your tree, not for your favorite Diva)
Find out when your lot’s trees are delivered. The shorter time period on the lot, the fresher the tree. AND: The more frequent the delivery, the fresher.

Freshness Testing
For Fir trees: Green needles on fresh trees break crisply when bent sharply with your fingers (imagine a carrot)
For Pine trees: Due to the different fibrous nature of pines, these needles do not break with the above-mentioned test unless they are dried out.

Lift the cut tree a few inches off the ground and let it drop on the bare trunk. Green needles should not drop off the tree; a few dried, inner needles = OK to fall, but not the outer ones

If you see excessive needle loss, discolored foliage, notice a musty odor, or see wrinkled bark, move along.

More later, my Sparkling Tinsel!

Back from Carnegie Hall

2007-11-26T16:28:00.001-06:00

Hey, Divas and Dudes. There were no postings after early last week because I went to NYC for Thanksgiving and to rehearse (MANY hours a day) for an appearance at Carnegie Hall yesterday at 2:00 p.m. with John Rutter conducting his masterpiece, Magnificat. It was thrilling, exciting, amazing, exhausting, wonderful, and much more. I can't talk about it without crying. We got a standing ovation at the end, so that was a thrill of a lifetime ... as was the look of immense joy on Rutter's face as he threw his arms up in the air and threw his head back at the completion of the performance. (Photo here features Main Squeeze and Main Dish outside Carnegie Hall marquee).

So, what does a Main Dish do after coming home from Carnegie Hall? Laundry. More postings soon after I recover from the trip, arriving home in the wee hours, and doing mine and the boys' laundry for the last week. In the meantime, enjoy the photos and remember: Nothing is impossible. EVER!

Outside Carnegie Hall with a bunch of Gorgeous Creatures! (That's what I address choral group members as ... they are ALL Divas and I love them all!!!!)

With Diva Sarah at The Brandy Library in Soho Friday night.

Tuesday before leaving - Dress Rehearsal at Canterbury UMC, Choral Group Musical-Heart-Throb Terre Johnson conducting, CBS 42 filming over his shoulder, and with a crowd of more than 250 onlookers in the sanctuary. A truly amazing send-off!!!!

Quick Turkey Tips

2007-11-19T21:21:00.000-06:00

If you have a frozen turkey and it’s still in the freezer, TURN YOUR CAR AROUND and pull it out of the freezer NOW!!!! And call in sick on your way back home. You have some serious work to do, but I’m here to help you out of your personal pickle with my Quick Turkey Tips.

Quick Defrost Option 1
You may thaw the bird in COLD water, in the original wrapping. The cold water must be changed every 30 minutes. Allow approximately 30 minutes per pound using this method.
Cold Water Turkey Thawing Time
Turkey Weight / Hours to Allow for Thawing Turkey
8 to 12 pounds / 4 to 6 hours
12 to 16 pounds / 6 to 8 hours
16 to 20 pounds / 8 to 10 hours
20 to 24 pounds / 10 to 12 hours
What a lovely way to spend your day (and night). Enjoy this a lot if you choose this option. Wear comfortable shoes, K?!

Quick Defrost Option 2
If you’re totally crunched for time, you can, if you’re brave, put the turkey in the microwave to defrost – if it fits. Just PLEASE follow the package instructions or your bird will take to the air until it hits the 6 walls of your microwave.

For the love of Pete, DO NOT …
Leave a turkey on the counter overnight to defrost. In the time it takes the center to defrost, the surface of the turkey could become warm enough for salmonella to set in. Plus, it gives Fido/Fifi the opportunity for a very large and gross snack. [Insert horror film music here] You know I'm serious about this - I had a bad case of colitis this year (while it wasn't from turkey sitting out, I would HATE for anyone to get colitis for any reason, but especially from turkey).
What size turkey do I need to buy? Purchase at least one pound of uncooked turkey per person when purchasing a whole turkey. You'll have enough for the feast and for leftovers, too.
Frugal Tip: Food stores may run specials on whole turkeys during some holiday periods. Take advantage of this and purchase 2 birds and storing one in the freezer for the next holiday event.
What's the Fastest Way to Cook Turkey? Use an oven bag (I love these things!!!!) and roast a 24-pound turkey in about 3-1/2 hours. IMPORTANT: Spray the sides of the oven bag with Pam to keep it from sticking AND brush vegetable oil on the skin of the turkey so it will turn golden brown.
Do not cook turkey all night at a low oven temperature. Cooking at low oven temperatures increases the risk of insuring a terrible 24 hours following your meal (salmonella + lots of time with the Porcelain God).
Can I Roast Turkey Ahead of Time and Reheat It Whole? Not so much, unless you want a turkey the texture of cardboard. Nice try, though. If you insist on doing this, slice the roasted turkey and place it in a foil-lined pan. Spoon chicken broth over the turkey to re-moisten it.
Can I Stuff the Turkey the Day Before? Combine only the dry ingredients the day before. If you don't have a large enough bowl, use a handy-dandy oven bag (I’m overly fond of them, you know!) to combine dry ingredients. When ready to stuff the turkey, add remaining stuffing ingredients to the oven bag and toss to mix. To bake, transfer stuffing to the cavity of the turkey or to a foil-lined pan.
Speaking of Stuffing It:Stuffing should be prepared and stuffed into the turkey immediately before it's placed in the oven for cooking.
Stuff the turkey loosely, about 3/4 cup stuffing per pound of turkey. Do NOT overstuff the turkey – remember, it expands while cooking – and if it doesn’t cook thoroughly, it will be a Thanksgiving to forget.
Remove the stuffing from the turkey before the turkey is carved.
Other Preparation Pointers
· Juices from the turkey will baste the meat as it cooks. For added moisture, pour 1/2 cup water in the bottom of the pan and brush the turkey with oil or unsalted butter and seasonings/herbs.
· Place an aluminum foil tent over the breast during the first 1 to 1-1/2 hours of cooking, then remove the foil to allow for browning.
· For easier carving, allow the turkey to stand 20 minutes once removed from the oven.
How Long Can Cooked Turkey Be Left At Room Temperature For Snacking? After cooking, remove stuffing immediately and slice turkey. Refrigerate leftovers. Never leave roasted turkey, stuffing or gravy at room temperature for more than 2 hours.

For Turkey, Will Travel?

2007-11-16T09:02:00.000-06:00

If you are a guest, here’s how to get invited back and not stuck being the host next year:

~ Arrive no earlier than the time the host has announced and no later than half an hour after the time.
~ Stay about an hour after dinner unless travel plans or sleepy children necessitate leaving earlier.
~ Bring a gift plus a bottle of wine if you're not bringing a dish or two
~ Offer to help set up for dinner and to clean afterward
~ Notify the host of any special dietary needs IN ADVANCE -- if you are a vegetarian, diabetic, or allergic to common foods. Better yet, bring a special dish yourself.
~ If you're going to a potluck Thanksgiving, bring a serving dish with your contribution. Take a page from my supper club and prepare it at home and bring any serving pieces necessary.

Write a thank you note. These people are completely exhausted after catering to you, so the least you can do is thank them in writing. Wouldn't your Mama be proud?! You know it's the right thing to do anyway.

Bon Appetit!

Dishin’ Turkey with Marjorie, The Main Dish

2007-11-14T09:48:00.000-06:00

The big cooking day is one week away, so I'm at your service serving up tips just for you, my little Giblet! Let us give thanks that Thanksgiving is a one day feast – and won’t drag on for days like the original one did.

One Ground Rule: If you’re one of those folks who believe it’s just not Thanksgiving without Great Aunt Lulu’s famous hooch dressing and you’re going to be ticked if the idiot your brother married doesn’t include it again this year. Here's how to avoid your utter disappointment:
1) Make it yourself
2) Let the hostess know you’re bringing it (If you're not making the beloved dish yourself, proceed directly to the next step)
3) SHUT UP!

Keep focused: Thanksgiving is about families, working yourself to death, worrying in advance about other people’s behavior, and eating yourself silly.

If you are the host/ess, here are tips to keep your head above the dish-water:
~ Whenever anyone offers to help or bring a dish, say, "I’d love for you to! What do you have in mind?" If they need prodding, suggest staples like sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, vegetables, wine, or … my favorite, squash soup. WAIT! What am I thinking? Wine IS my favorite. Though, I do love squash soup.
~ Use hollowed bread loaves for serving cheese or dips. Save your serving pieces and spare the dishwasher.
~ Before the guests arrive, sit in each chair to make sure each guest won’t whack others with elbows, or constantly kick the person across from them.
~ Include favorite kids' foods, especially those they can eat by hand (you know that louse your sister married is only a giant kid anyway!)
~ Plan at least one low-calorie dish and consider a vegetarian option.
~ Before dessert, clear the table, and fill the sink with soapy water so stuff can soak
~ When creating your shopping list, don’t forget candles, flowers, and be sure to pick up club soda for immediate spot removal
~ Save food containers and grocery bags for packing up leftovers and handing them out to guests on their way out.
~ Bake desserts and side dishes that can be refrigerated and confirm deliveries from food services or caterers.
~ Create a timetable for the cooking that has to be done on Thanksgiving Day so everything will be ready at mealtime.
~ Don't forget breakfast on Thanksgiving morning. Cereal, frozen waffles, or fruit are low-prep ideas. Heck, if you’re cooking the big meal, send a caravan-load of folks to IHOP or Mickey D’s for Pete’s sake! Don’t make any more work for yourself. It also gets that rowdy kid out of your house and you get a moment's peace.

Off to stick my head in the oven. Toodles!

Crockin' Out

2007-11-12T11:47:00.000-06:00

My, my! This topic is certainly heating up, Kitten!

I simply must tell you before I launch ahead that at this very moment, the Chicken Artichoke dish 2 posts ago is cooking downstairs - it's been much too long since I enjoyed it. Since posting the recipe, I can't get it off my mind, so might as well cook it and force it down the boys' throats for dinner just for sport. Oh, and I'm simultaneously cooking 2 batches of Fabulous Brownies (Food for Thought, Jr. League cookbook) for The Market. I feel so efficient! And I'm completely hopeful that these wonderful simmering concoctions will fill my home with a lovely aroma ... that will cover up the chili I burned to smithereens on Friday which stank up my entire abode just 2 days before a 5 year old birthday party. For the record, I haven't burned supper ever, so I'm over-due.

At the par-tay, I served a shrimp dip that is so easy and delicious, that it would be a domestic crime for me not to share it. AND you can prepare it in your crock pot (LOOK! I've finally arrived back on topic).

1 can cream of shrimp soup
8 oz cream cheese (reduced fat, of course!)
couple splashes of Worcestershire sauce

On the stove: Cut up the cream cheese into cubes. Dump in cream of shrimp soup. Splash in Worcestershire sauce to taste. Stir. Melt. Stir some more. Serve. Refresh your container every 3o minutes or so to ensure warmth of dip for your invitees' palates.

In the crock pot: same directions, just set the pot on low and give it 2 hours to get to the consistency of dip.

I doubled the recipe. I had about 40 people at the back yard soiree and have left-overs (I'm going to put it on loaded baked potatoes tomorrow night for supper). Kids and grown ups loved it. I served it with Tostitos. Slice green onions or add chopped cilantro on the top if you want to add color. I didn't think the kiddies would go for that "suspicious green stuff", so I skipped it this time.

Oh! There goes the oven timer. Toodles!

Crack-pot Crock-pot Rapid Response

2007-11-09T09:22:00.000-06:00

Please note the survey to the left and participate. Saucy Diva is dying for cold hard numbers.

This is my crock pot. Isn't it ugly??? It's the only thing I own that sports a country style theme. My dearly departed grandmother gave it to me when I was in college. I'd never heard of crock pots before that. I didn't even use it until I was 35 and had moved it approximately 6 times before plugging it in. My favorite things to cook in the crock pot these days:

Artichoke Chicken & Pasta that serves 4-6:
1 ½ lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 8 oz. package fresh, sliced mushrooms (always a time-saver to buy the sliced variety!)
2 6-oz. jars marinated artichoke hearts, drained
1 tbsp. minced garlic (another time-saver is to buy the jar of minced garlic)
¼ C. white wine (I generally am a bit liberal with this measurement!)
1 tsp. black pepper
1 sprig each of fresh basil, oregano, and rosemary (if you don’t grow them in your yard, use a pinch of each from your spice collection)
Angel Hair Pasta or Spaghetti

Combine all ingredients except pasta in the crock pot. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. Cook pasta. Put pasta in bowls and ladle the contents over it. It comes out looking like a pasta dish with sauce. Even my kids like to eat this!

You can have instant Mexican Night when you walk in the door compliments of your crock pot with Beef Tortillas (and the kids love this, too!)
1 lb. ground beef
1 (10 oz) can of Italian tomato soup
Pinch of basil
1 C. your favorite chunky salsa
¼ C. milk
6 tortillas
1 C. shredded Cheddar cheese

In advance, brown your ground beef in a skillet. Then place cooked beef in slow cooker. Combine soup, basil, and salsa. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. During last hour of cooking time, stir in milk. Spoon mixture into tortillas; add cheese (or other favorite garnishes) just before serving.

Just last night, Diva Ann emailed me asking, "Diva Marjorie, What is a good recipe for a cold night drink to warm your insides, please? Ann" I emailed her back a quick stop-gap solution. Should you want to share with others, here’s a tasty toddy to raise your crock pot spirits --

Sweet Hot Buttered Rum (you know I do love a festive adult beverage):
2 C. brown sugar
2 C. confectioner’s sugar
½ C. butter
Pinch of salt
3 sticks cinnamon
4 cloves
1 ½ quarts water
4 C apple juice
Cook for 5 hours on low (with the cover on, silly!).
Then, stir in 2 cups rum (I prefer dark, but suit yourself) or rum extract.
Ladle into mugs (with this quantity, Pumpkin, consider sharing). Garnish with whipped cream or a scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream and a sprinkling of nutmeg.

Bottoms up!

Get Cracking with Crock Pot Cooking

2007-11-08T20:22:00.000-06:00

QUICK!! Everybody, catch your collective breaths. Halloween is over and your schedule is all of a sudden in full swing. Your mailbox is stuffed with catalogs and the start of the fall party season is about to hit you in the face. Without any planning, in no time, you’ll be flailing your arms helplessly due to overwhelm … not to mention the guilt of not being able to put a healthy, warm, home-cooked meal in front of your hungry brood on a chili night (I can do this; it's my blog).

Before those forks turn into pitchforks, quick! Pull out your crock pot (a.k.a. slow cooker) and get ready to whisk those guilt-inspired frozen dinners back into the freezer section!

Princess, I’m all about grills and slow cookers. Why? Simple: Fewer pots and pans to wash and faster clean up. This time of year, you need to get time on your side as much as possible. Enter slow cooker!

Advantages of slow cooking:
~ The long cooking time brings out the flavors.
~ The lower temperatures lessen the chance of food sticking to the bottom (less mess)
~ You can use inexpensive or tough meats, like chuck roasts or stew beef because the meat is tenderized with the long cook time.
~ It frees your oven and stove top for other uses. Don’t forget that for your next large party or the just-around-the-corner holiday meal.
~ Convenience! A slow cooker can usually be left to do its thing all day without any competent adult supervision.

Basic Tips for Slow Cooking:
~ Buy roasts and other large cuts of meat that will fit in your crock pot, or plan to trim them to fit.
~ Root vegetables, such as potatoes, carrots, and onions, should be placed in the bottom of the pot, under the meat -- they tend to cook more slowly than meat.
~ Colors tend to fade in slow cooked foods, but a garnish such as chopped fresh parsley, chives, tomatoes, red peppers, cheese, or sour cream can add visual appeal.
~ Fill the crock pot no more than 2/3 full
~ Dairy products usually don’t do well in crock pots – the milk curdles. You get the pictorial. You can add sour cream, for example, the last hour or two of cooking. Ditto fish and seafood.
~ Don’t peek! If you open the top while cooking, add 20-30 more minutes to the cooking time! That sets a girl back, n’est pas?!

Off to check the Diva Deep Freeze to see what's in there so I can plan the next crock pot feast. Will report back shortly.

Etiquette Emergency - Please Respond

2007-11-05T20:24:00.000-06:00

My pal, Saucy Diva, has a conundrum and would very much like input. She has recently been ill, trapped in her diva digs for days on end, and feeling like yesterday's trash. A very good friend of hers offers to bring groceries or cook. Saucy Diva elects to have friend cook for her because she's so lethargic, she can't muster the energy to do so for herself. Additionally, she tells her good friend (PS not me) that she'd really enjoy the company. Saucy Diva's words follow:

She's excited! She comes over this morning with a mac & cheese casserole & a chicken casserole. She laughs & says: it calls for "such & such" but I didn't have any so it's not in there. And it calls for Ritz crackers on top but I didn't have any so I put Saltines. We laughed about it & hung out for a while. Tonight I go to eat the chicken casserole & it hasn't been cooked. I called her & got directions. Um...I can't recall what she said was missing but it was probably THE ingredient that counteracted the shaker of salt. I may have gained a pound from one serving. Question: How do I tell her? I have to. If we weren't so close I wouldn't bother, but she'd never made it before, she should know before she makes it again. Should I thank her & tell her how yummy it was and say, fyi, you might want to mark your recipe to reduce the salt to 1/10th what it calls for next time you make it.??? She isn't some Sensitive Sally but I also don't want to seem ungrateful!! (I'm not sure what I should add to it to reduce the salt. Otherwise I don't think I can eat it again & what a waste!!! I feel terrible! She went to all that trouble AND I was excited to have someone cook for me!) I mean, would you want to know? And I WOULD want to know- I wouldnt' want someone to lie when they just tossed it in the garbage bc they couldn't eat it!

Please Dish with the Divas and post your suggestions. I have already given Saucy Diva my opinion, but since she's already heard from me, let's hear from you. I'll tell you later what I suggested. Go on, click on "comments" over there below and to the right at the end of this posting, even if you post as Anonymous Diva / Dude. And Saucy Diva, please join our conversation.

XOXOXO

Mane Concerns - A Hairy Topic

2007-11-02T12:41:00.000-05:00

Now that we’ve got those kids heading back to school and out of our collective hair before the holiday season is upon us, we can untangle a few things. Like a fresh look for fall for you, Glamour Puss! Starting from the top, I’ve got tips so you’ll be razor sharp and haircut savvy! I went to my stylist of choice, Bobby Pierce (401-6696). While I'm thinking of it - he will work miracles to get you in. I ask you when was the last time someone did that for you???

Top What NOT to do:

Do NOT go in, tell the stylist you want a change but not change the cut or color (really, this happens all the time!). If you do want a change, be prepared to explain what kind of change you’re looking for such as length, style, color. For example, when I was driving a cute, red, 2-seater convertible, my specific request was to have a hair cut that could go topless … so to speak.
Do Not expect your stylist to be a mind-reader. If you don’t know what you want, make an appointment for a consultation, not a cut. During this time, you can look through images, discuss your likes, and options.
Don’t expect a cut to dramatically change your hair. An excellent cut will flatter your features and suit your lifestyle and personality.
Don’t show up late for an appointment. If you’re 10 minutes late, the stylist has 10 fewer minutes to do an excellent job. Now, if your stylist runs late consistently, make a habit of calling the salon before you leave for the appointment to check to see how s/he’s running time-wise that day.
Don’t bring your posse. Your friends disrupt your stylist’s concentration and often times get in the way. Instead, meet the girls for lunch or drinks afterwards so they can ooh and aah.
Don’t necessarily change your hair when things aren’t working in your life. I love a style change, but think about it: What if you hated your life AND your hair?! Drastic measures may have to be taken.
On the same token, Bobby advises that you should never let a stylist talk you into a radical change. Phase it in. Especially if you and your stylist are developing your relationship. I’ve been going to Bobby for nearly 6 years. I know his mother makes too many quilts and gives them away as presents. He has a weakness for kittens. I won’t tell you what he knows about me except to say, we almost have a mind-meld. If you are not this tight with your stylist, don’t let him/her call the shots.
If you are changing your hair, tell the stylist to be conservative with the cut.
Don’t get stuck in a rut. Bobby advises that after 2 years, you should change your cut. You don’t want to be one of those ladies in their late 60’s who has had the same cut for 40 years and everybody wonders who in the world is still making a living outside a nursing home doing pin curls!
Don’t slide into the chair and say, “I love what you did to my hair 3 times ago.” Your stylist has performed about 500 hair cuts since then, two being on you, and has absolutely no recollection of the cut. If you want the cut from 3 times ago, bring a photo of your cut to help refresh memories.

Here are some hair style DO’s:

Choose the right shampoo and conditioner. If you want lots of volume, which, by the way is going to be big for fall, choose products that say “Extra Volume” on the label.
Find the right hairstylist. Ask people whose haircuts you like. Karen Lehane formerly of NBC-13 turned me on to Bobby. I think she has great style, plus she’s really smart. Always a great combo with great hair!
Maintain your style. Know how long it takes your hair to grow out. For most non-ethnic people it’s somewhere between 4-8 weeks. In the warmer months, hair grows faster.
After a certain age, short hair on women becomes more flattering. To the face, to the energy, and to the over-all look. Short lengths lifts the face and is generally more healthy, vibrant hair, therefore projecting a more healthy, vibrant person. You look ready for life with short hair. I have short hair, and it’s not because I’ve reached a “certain age”; it’s because I think short hair is sassy and I’m sorta’ sassy, ergo ….
Ask your stylist to talk you through how to style your new haircut while s/he’s styling it. Many times, you can practice in the chair. Most people don’t know this.
The same basic cuts never go out of style – it’s how they are styled. You can never go wrong with a classic bob or layers. Mullets, not so much. It’s the variation on styling the cuts that keep your cut looking up-to-date.

Looks for the Fall:

Red is the new blond. Wa-hoo!
Colors go “warm” instead of “brassy”
Curls are back. We’re talking body waves, round brush, and maybe spirals. The flat look of the 1970’s is gone. And curly-headed women will be heard sighing the collective sigh of relief. Adieu, flat iron!
Easy and quick to fix. Great news for those lucky divas driving convertibles!

I’m off to book another appointment with Bobby before you start hogging all his appointment slots. XOXOXO

Halloween Thoughts

2007-10-31T12:35:00.000-05:00

Adults are the #1 freak-show for spending for Halloween. (Kids still rack up on the candy, though.) Halloween is gaining on Christmas for the highest spending holiday category. The National Retail Federation expects consumers to spend about $4.96 billion on Halloween cards, candy, costumes, and decorations. That translates to about $60 per average consumer. And that number is up 51% over last year. It’s the 2nd or 3rd biggest party (depending on who’s counting) behind the Super Bowl and New Year’s Eve. So, what’s the scare scoop?

There really is a Great Pumpkin, apparently. Or folks are jumping on the Linus Bandwagon. There is a surge in Great Pumpkin Parties across the nation, complete with “Boo Gifts” from the large round fellow (who in my imagination looks remarkably like Coach Phil Fulmer, but I digress). It seems to me that if this is going to be a trend, there are folks who could burn up some of their spare time volunteering at a soup kitchen – serving, of course, pumpkin or squash soup!

Did you know that Hallmark is producing over 300 different Halloween cards this year?! That boggles my mind.

The largest age group going over-the-top for Halloween consists of folks 18-24. 85% of them are throwing some kind of Halloween-Bash. And please note that Halloween parties aren’t limited to one week anymore – it’s a month-long celebration. Pumpkin, get partying!!!! FAST!

I am starting to wonder when people are REALLY going to get smart and COMBINE Halloween and Oktoberfest. Back to the topic....

After taking the goblins trick-or-treating, it's adult Toddy Time! Here's what I'm whipping up in my cauldron .... Caramel Apple Pie Tini
1-3/4 oz Bailey's with a hint of Caramel
1/3 oz. Smirnoff's Twist Green Apple Vodka (slurp!)
1/3 oz applesauce
Dash of caramel syrup

Pour applesauce in the bottom of a martini glass. Dash your caramel syrup on top of that. Shake remaining ingredients in your dazzling cocktail shaker with ice. Strain and pour yourself into bed. Gotta' rest those tootsies that I crammed into witch boots all day (it's amazing what a girl will do to entertain small children)! Might as well enjoy a cocktail while lounging!

RED SOX SWEEP!! SWEET!!

2007-10-29T16:45:00.000-05:00

Off to celebrate. Back soon. XOXOXO