Friday, February 29, 2008

Diva Sightings

Sorry, kids, for my lapse. I've been the following places recently:
  • Nashville, lost in the Opryland Hotel. I hate that place. I swear, I couldn't find the front door and walked around for 30+ minutes. How embarrassing!
  • the t-ball and machine pitch baseball fields (NOW you understand - yep, I'm co-Team Mom for both kids' teams, ugh!)
  • Rehearsing Mozart
  • Singing jazz
  • Installing garage organizational systems
  • Echola, Alabama (West Tuscaloosa County, i.e. "The Sticks"/BFE/ The Ends of the Earth - but I loved it. VERY pretty!!! I traded recently canned tomato chutney I made with Pear Preserves with the Main Squeeze's adorable mother. I won. I got the better end of the swap!!! Now if Dash would stop eating my pear preserves every morning with his English Muffin, I might get a shot at having some before he cleans me out.
  • Doing laundry (see above ref. baseball - those pants are a killer to get the wet, red clay out of)

I'll get back on the blog-writing stick soon. As a side note to Diva WineKnow and others - I post responses under the topic, even a week or two afterwards. So, if you're looking for the hair update, check the comments under the topic. Sorry, I'm anal - must file.

XOXO

The Main Dish

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Funny Email. Compelled to Share


The text says: Much to their suprise, the Virgins awaiting Muslims in Heaven were not what they expected. Don't know the source - sorry.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Color Report - Spring 2008

Poodle, about this time of the season, aren't you pretty much SICK of all your clothes? I walk in my custom boudoir and just about scream. Well, that's for several reasons - I'm in the midst of a Goodwill cleanse and the ever-present laundry is always an issue at the Diva Digs. But it doesn't help that I'm over my winter clothes at this point. Sound like the call of the shopping Sirens? In case you're in the same boat and want to know what's The Thing to add to your wardrobe repetoire, I'm at your service.

The big clothing color this spring is YELLOW. I heard that and my brain went straight to Psycho music and a visual of bumble-bee clothes complete with antennae as accessory. Brighten up! I remembered that yellow is a cheery color - it makes people happy. OK, now were' cookin'; this can be fun. Black and white with a splash of yellow in an outfit will be the Bee's Knees! Look for a great purse in yellow and you'll be all the rage (not in the man purse department, though, puh-leez). A couple of cute suggestions ranging drastically in price:

Manolo Blahnik stappy sandles. Aren't they adorable? Pair with a sundress or white pantsuit and you're a hot, hot diva. Sex in the City's Carrie would rip them right off of you, too, so watch out! They're not inexpensive at all, so be forewarned, my little fashion bee!

This great Alfani graphic jacket really pops with a yellow shirt underneath, n'est pas?! You can pick up the gem at Macy's. Here's the link should you need instant access to it http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=293989&CategoryID=35196&LinkType=EverGreen

Now, if the above two numbers either don't do it for you or aren't remotely in your price range, you can always opt for a great jean jacket. I love them in colors 'cause you can wear them with jeans without it looking like you're not sure if it's a suit idea or not. Try this one also at Macy's priced at $49:

While I'm not remotely interested in the shirt they show under the jacket, you can still see the potential. One note about yellow next to the face: make certain the yellow is the right one for your skin tones and won't make your sweet face look sallow or jaundiced. That'd be a total shame, glamour puss! But there are those who say if you wear enough make up, then you can wear any color. Morsel? You decide.
Fending off the Call of the Mall .... XOXO!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Worst Hair Day EVER

I'm about to dump hair color bottle 3rd attempt on my head. I've gone from carrot top to purple and now I'm reservedly optomistic about wishing for a lovely shade of Elvira. Any tips?

My hair stylist is having a crisis or is on drugs or both. I can't hang around long enough to find out.

I need help .... FAST.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Popping the Q

This being one of those items I never will have on my To Do List, I had to take some time to ponder Dude’s question about popping the question (see previous post’s 2nd response). Prince Charming, I take it from the fact that you posted to the blog, brave soul, that you want to do something special for your princess.

The answer starts the same as several of my other pieces of advice: know your audience and take your cue from that. So, is she quiet/private or does she like a big show? The next question is all about you, Romeo: do you want to produce something memorable for the two of you to recount to the delight of others or do you want something private? The overriding idea is to make it special to you both, but the bottom line is that you do it in such a way that the only way she can answer is Yes!

Without having more information, I can’t really start rolling out helpful suggestions. So, what do you like to do together? Where have you traveled together? What’s special to you? With that kind of information, I’m pointed in a specific direction. Barring that, I assume you know her best friend. Yep, I’m punting to the “ask the best girlfriend for advice”. However, if you want to give the group more deets, I think we have some readers with delicious taste and boundless romantic inclinations who would be more than willing to weigh in.

How ‘bout it, Divas and Dudes?! Let’s help Prince Charming sweep his Princess off her feet … at least until her mother gets involved in the wedding planning extravaganza.

Bag the Grocery Store Flowers

OK, I've been getting personal emails again (reminder: post to the blog for numbers, Precious) with questions from the Guy Set asking where to get flowers when I've just outlawed the grocery store variety.

So, my pal "Guy" emails me, "what's so bad about grocery store flowers anyway?"
A: First you'll notice that they have blackened tips around the edges of the flower. Many times there are brown spots or black holes on the exterior petals – sometimes penetrating beyond the outer layer petals. They're not fresh. They're not stored correctly. They haven't been taken care of properly. Why? It's a GROCERY store and this is an add-on item, i.e. a second thought - not the primary reason you're there. Or it's an emergency. Another reason that I hate grocery store roses is that they don't last long (see reasons above), so instead of having beautiful fragrant bouquet, it's dead in 24 hours and it reeks to high heaven. As yourself: is that really what you’re going for??? If you're planning for Valentine's or a birthday, you know, a milestone for the person who makes your ticker go pitter-pat, s/he deserves something that's not filled with fungus. Don't you agree????

You are in luck, Guy. I'm not leaving you hanging here. It wouldn't have flair if I did. So, I'm helping you out ... in a BIG way. You have options in the flowers-that-make-a-gigantic-impact-department. TRUST ME. And from your perspective, if you drop all that wonga, s/he should be beyond delighted about the flowers and give you a wonderful reaction of joy, surprise, excitement, etc. You know I'm right. Here's how to get it.

ONE WAY for a nice impact (especially if flowers aren't expected or you've been getting the Aisle 3 variety previously) is to call your florist and order today:
1. Dorothy McDaniel's Flower Market (Homewood) (205) 871-0092 or www.dorothymcdaniel.com .
2. Feel the Love, flowers arranged by the landscape architect, Mr. Love, owner of Mountain Brook Flower Shop 870-1666. Say hi to the dogs.
3. Who in town doesn't just adore Gus Pappas and Norton's Florist? 313-1983 I mean, they raised money for Natalee Holloway after she disappeared in Aruba and when they ran out of yellow roses, Gus miraculously got more. He’s a tasty treat with a big heart.

A freebie tip from The Main Dish: Spend more on the flowers, less on the vase. You hope that the recipient says, “what gorgeous flowers; how thoughtful.” NOT “what an interesting vase; oh, there are flowers in it.”

Here are some BEYOND WOW impact options. Send these to the office of your sweetheart and you’re instantly the perfect boyfriend/husband who all the other boyfriends/husbands now hate because you’ve made them look bad. See, I’ve got your back!!!!

~ Send your little minx resplendent orchids from Hawaii. They are simply exquisite and aromatic. I have received these as a thank you and it blew me away. The flowers lasted more than 2 weeks. This can be much less expensive than the traditional dozen roses and get the kind of reaction you’ll thank me for later. www.kaimuflowers.com

~ How about sending the most gigantic, eye-popping roses your heartthrob has ever encountered? Late comedian Rodney Dangerfield’s wife , a florist, founded Jungle Roses – roses grown in the Amazon jungle and rainforests in Latin America. They are picked and shipped same-day to your beloved. They arrive in a huge box. No one at the office will miss this one; the water cooler will be a-buzz, swear it. They have arrangements, 2 dozen roses, dozen roses, and the simply divine Petal Package (when I received it years ago it came with probably three hundred 3” rose petals for the bath, a scented candle, and some rosewater. Promise, Guy, you’ll score with this one!!!). www.jungleroses.com

You won’t be disappointed. Diva Endorsed. Order now. RIGHT now. Stop reading (until I post again). Get going on it. Shoo! (come back soon!)
XOXO

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

A Chaser of Valentine's Anti-Venom

I've been plagued with thoughts to accomodate you darling readers who HATE Valentine's Day. I'm on it. Been there. Snapped out of it - 'cause I have little kids and you just can't be cynical about V-Day AND be an inspiring parent. They don't get it. That, and the Main Squeeze rocks my world (sorry, but he does; I'm just sickeningly happy).

This article is so funny as it bashes all the stupid, bad/weird plot, movie love comedy genre that you probably love and hate at the same time. http://movies.msn.com/new-on-dvd/feature-article/?news=298765&Gt1=7701

It's worth a read even if you're not pissed about Valentine's Day.

Valentine Ideas for your Special Treat

Wondering what you can do for your special squeeze that will bring out the tempting and delicious this Valentine’s Day? Once again, your Diva races to inspire you in your moment of need. On the up side, you still have about a week to do something fabulous. But that’s not an excuse to allow you to waste another precious minute. Hop to it, Sweetheart!

The first requirement is to procure a card of some type to present your loved one expressing your gratitude that you are not alone and s/he keeps putting up with you. Please sign it before being in the glowing presence of your significant other. You’re not off the hook with just a card, so keep paying attention!

Well, a gift is nice. Start with these suggestions (BTW not hints for the Main Squeeze):
~ Diamond earrings. They are a girl’s best friend. And they are forever. Can’t go wrong with those! This is not for the faint of heart or faint of wallet, either! For guys, heart-shaped cuff links or a watch can do the trick.
~ Sexy lingerie. I like to refer to it as the gift that keeps on giving. But that’s entirely up to you.
~ Chocolate. Traditional Valentine’s gift. UNLESS your precious peach is on a temporary diet, then steer clear. And DO NOT go for the no-sugar, no fat type of chocolate if that’s the case – just drop it and choose something else altogether. Trust me on this.
~ Flowers are always wonderful. If your recipient is frugal, know that now is the time to start planting roses, so buy a rosebush for your gardening enthusiast and enjoy more than one dozen roses for a lot longer than a bouquet. And I hope by now all you guys are NOT buying roses at the grocery store. Gag!
~ A bottle of wine for your wonderful wine enthusiast. What’s more appropriate to go with a romantic dinner than a personally picked, hand delivered bottle of wine? There may still be time to order a personal label for your wine with a sweet message ....
~ A new pair of shoes. And I’m not talkin’ Addidas here, either, sport -- UNLESS you think she wants you to catch her and she needs appropriate footwear.
~ Digital camera – so you can capture all your special memories together. Aaawww. Isn’t that sweet?
~ While nothing can compare to the gentle touch of your hands, consider one of those electric massagers – to ease the stress of your temporary separation, of course.
~ A new watch will ensure the one who puts that sparkle in your eye will never be late for that fabulous dinner you’re about to arrange. If you REALLY want to score points, arrange for the babysitter, too.

More later. And I will have guy gift ideas.
XOXO!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Next Party? MARDI GRAS!!!!

Now that I've eaten all those tres delish appetizer foods required at Super Bowl parties, I'm on a "rouller" and eagerly anticipate Fat Tuesday tomorrow. In case you don't know, it's the day that you stuff yourself silly with food and libations before you renew your "what I'm not going to eat/drink" New Year's resolutions and hit Ash Wednesday, the reflective and serious time in the liturgical calendar a.k.a. Lent.

Mardi Gras is technically just ONE DAY (thank GOD!!! Our collective livers couldn't handle it otherwise), not all the days and weeks between January 6th and Fat Tuesday - a common misconception. This time frame is called "Carnival" and is not only celebrated in New Orleans, Mobile, Houston, and other Gulf Coast cities of French Canadian ancestry, but also in Rio, Venice, throuough the Carribean, and Latin America. Almost a global party (OK, primarily limited to heavily Catholic populated countries). But the culmination is tomorrow, Fat Tuesday.

Here's how to get festive for the 10th annual party at Saucy Diva's house or whatever Mardi Gras party you're attending:

~ The colors are green (faith), gold (power) and purple (justice). Bright and blingy is what you're going for, Poodle.

~ Costumes are encouraged, but not a have-to. Don't leave home, though, without a boa or mask, though it's all about the beads - lots and lots of beads. You can pick up these lovely, cheap accessories at Party City.

~ The music of the evening is either zydeco or New Orleans brass jazz band

~ Want a festive adult libation to get you in the mood to wear that mask all night? Try a hurricane (3/4 oz. Bacardi Limon rum,1 oz. Bacardi light rum,1/4 oz. Bacardi 151 rum, pineapple juice, orange juice, grenadine, sweet & sour mix; to make nonalcoholic use ginger ale or Sprite). Ah, I'm waxing nostolgic about Pat O'Brien's .... Snapping out of it.

~ What's a party-going diva/dude to eat? It is important to have something (preferably A LOT) in your stomach to help absorb all that alcohol. Fill your plate with dirty rice, crawfish etouffe, gumbo, jumbalaya, shrimp creole, or even just good ole' fried chicken. For dessert, it's king cake and Moon Pies. Not so great for that waistline, huh Princess? Party today, repent later, I always say.

I'm off to find my boa, confirm the babysitter, and grab a snooze in preparation for tomorrow's festivities. XOXO

Friday, February 1, 2008

I'm ALMOST Speechless

Back on the insane celebrity gossip end of my spectrum, I turn to the recent story about David Beckham, soccer star's newest tatoo. Yes, I'm plunging to the depths of the bowels of the writing cesspool. Here is a link to the Marie Claire article, should you wish to find further information http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/celebrity/176828/david-beckham-gets-new-posh-tattoo.html

This was forwarded to me in an email (sorry, I don't know the source):
While David Beckham allegedly strayed from his marriage in the past, women looking for a hook up in the future will find the indelible proof of his marital status inked on his muscular left forearm – a six-inch tattoo of his wife, Victoria.
“They are both thrilled with the result,” said a source quoted by Hello magazine. “It has been beautifully done. Victoria is flattered."
The 11th addition to Becks’ growing gallery of body art, this latest design depicts his “Posh” wife as a bare-breasted angel, surrounded by stars. The new image wraps around an older inscription of Victoria’s name written in Hindi.
“He thinks she’s his angel,” said another insider, “which is why he got an image of her among the stars.” But it isn’t all about Posh. Friends say Becks is well on the way to emulating the lead character on his favorite show, “Prison Break,” whose upper torso is completely covered in tattoos.

OF COURSE, now it's becoming evident, Becks is a gangsta' wanna' be, but he's a soccer stud until such time. Insert my eye-roll here.

A message to the Main Squeeze (and anyone else who cares) THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC to this Dish. AT ALL. DO NOT CONSIDER FOR VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT. It is just gross and a waste of money. Can you imagine what this will look like when he turns 85, for example, and the wrinkles skew the "art"?! There are other ways to state that you are married and to BACK THE @#$^ off. Billboards? wedding rings? I just am not certain that a potential chick looking for squeezing with Posh's husband is going to be able to FIND the wife's tatoo in and amongst all the other stuff going on that "canvass".